


Till I'm Gone

by Sora Matasuki (MiraSoraStone)



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Bullying, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depression, Don't copy to another site, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Suicidal Thoughts, There had to be a reason for Tadashi to build Baymax, ocs for antagonists
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 55,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22126768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraSoraStone/pseuds/Sora%20Matasuki
Summary: Two years before the start of the movie, the Hamada family was subject to a tragedy that would shake Tadashi's perception on his actions and life, forever. Hiro is struggling to fit in at High School, and his actions will shape the course of their family, forever. After all, something had to spark Baymax into being, right?**IS BEING POSTED FOR ARCHIVAL PURPOSES**
Relationships: Cass Hamada & Hiro Hamada & Tadashi Hamada, Fred | Fredzilla/Tadashi Hamada, Hiro Hamada & Tadashi Hamada
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was created when I was 17 and going through my most stressful year of high school. This story contains extremely dark themes of suicidal idealization, bullying, and off-screen non-con between two minors (not Hiro).  
> If I were to ever work on this story again, it would be in a rewrite as there are a few themes that I view as unnecessary and gratuitous. However, all story elements have been left as they were on Fanfiction.net with the exception of the long list of individual thanks of my reviewers on FF.N in individual chapters as it doesn't apply to this platform.

Tadashi was late. So late, that his dinner had probably started growing icicles. The sixteen year old slammed on the brakes as he directed the car to around the corner, the tires giving off that nasty squealing sound that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up to attention. The teen managed to regain control of the car and slowly drifted to the side of the road, his blinker blinking obnoxiously. 

He turned the steering wheel and guided the car into the parking lot behind his Aunt’s Bakery and Cafe that shared their home on the two floors above the restaurant. Putting it in park and taking out the key, Tadashi surged outwards, grabbing his bookbag in one smooth motion. 

Shutting the door, the Japanese-American glanced over at the setting sun and then shook his head. So what if he was late, Hiro was fine with postponing watching that movie till another day, right? 

The thought didn’t ring as true as Tadashi would have liked but he shrugged the disquiet out of his mind. Hiro was fine. Even if at school he was rather reclusive, having his nose stuck in a book all the time… 

Tadashi shook his head. _Stop that!_ he scolded himself. With a shrug, the sixteen year old walked around the back and to the front of the shop. Exiting regulars stopped to say hello to him as he entered the restaurant and Tadashi found himself grinning to himself. 

“Hey Aunt Cass.” he called over the bustle of happy customers eating themselves into a food coma. 

His grin faded as Cass leveled him with a stern _Look._ “Tadashi, you said you were going to be home by three. Where were you?” she questioned. 

Tadashi winced. “I got held up.” he said. Cass’s frosty glare faded to a sad expression as she sighed. 

“Hiro was so excited to go to that movie with you…” she said, then gestured towards the back where the stairs to their living quarters were with her head, “Hiro hasn’t had dinner, I think he was taking a nap so didn’t hear my call for him to come eat.” Her soft look turned stern and made Tadashi look down at his shoes with a guilty flinch. “ _You two_ can sit down and have a meal like _real brothers_ since I still need to deal with the dinner rush.” 

Tadashi nodded, still looking at his shoes as his cheeks heated up from embarrassment. “Yes Aunt Cass…” he murmured, starting to make his way up the stairs. 

Cass nodded firmly before redirecting her attention to an old lady who patted Cass’ hand with a fond expression.

Tadashi heard the old woman say kindly, “Don’t worry dear, everything will sort itself out soon enough.”

Aunt Cass’ reply was cut off by the walls as Tadashi ascended into the darkened upper floors.

Tadashi entered the large room that both of them shared and noted that Hiro’s screen saver was active, indicating that he’d been awake long enough after school to go trolling through the internet on his computer. 

“Hiro?” Tadashi called, eyes scanning the darkness for his brother’s sleeping form in his side of the shoji screen. “Hiro, it’s time to wake up. Aunt Cass said it’s time for dinner!” 

There was silence and Tadashi let out a sigh as he walked over to where the light switch was. “Sorry Hiro but it’s time for you to - Hiro?” 

Hiro’s bed was neat and tidy and completely void of it’s owner, something Tadashi never saw. It took a combination of bribery, threats to his experiments and sweets to actually get him to tidy up his half of the room, and up when he was asleep. A sinking feeling was rising in Tadashi’s chest. 

Movement caught his eye and the elder teen again noticed that Hiro’s computer was active. Walking over from the light switch, Tadashi moved the mouse and was relieved to find that it wasn’t password protected. 

That relief quickly faded as he scanned the open tabs. 

One article read ‘HOW TO KILL YOURSELF PAINLESSLY’ and the rest held similar searches. A sick feeling started stirring in his gut as he clicked on his brother’s internet history. Similar searches with keywords about ‘safe places to cut’, ‘how many pills does it take to die’, ‘does death hurt’, ‘will it be better if I’m gone’, dated back months. It was as if it started near the beginning of the school year. 

Tadashi’s vision swam as his breath caught in his throat. _Where’s Hiro?_ the thought dimly penetrated the fog clouding his mind. _I have to find Hiro!_

“HIRO!” he called, near the top of his lungs. “HIRO WHERE ARE YOU!” 

There was only silence. 

A litany of swears and pleas to a God Tadashi was unsure even existed tore through his mind, some slipping out of his mouth as he turned on his heel to run into the dark hallway. In comparison to when he had entered the floor, the darkness seemed harsh and oppressive where in the beginning, it had only been a sign that Hiro was tired enough to be asleep. But now, it was the threat of an eternal slumber that urged Tadashi to run through the hallway, calling for his little brother. 

“Hiro!” he yelled, ducking his head into a bathroom that he knew held sleeping pills and nearly wept when he found Hiro wasn’t on the ground, overdosed. But his joy at the find was only brief as he remembered that there were four more bathrooms in total in the living space they all lived in. 

“C’mon, please be alright, please be okay!” Tadashi begged, unsure of who he was addressing as he checked on the third bathroom. Only two more left, both on the top floor. He stared at the darkness that the stairs led up to and swallowed back bile and tears. 

“Please don’t be… _Please_.” with that final tear filled plea, Tadashi charged up the stairs, breath coming in gasps. 

It was the first door on that floor that was locked and it felt like a blow to the gut. “Hiro!” Tadashi called, banging on the door. “Don’t do this!” _Please! Don’t leave me!_

The silence was deafening and Tadashi put his forehead against the wood even as his fist pounded relentlessly against it. “Hiro open up!” _Please just say something. Something, anything, so I know you’re still alive!_

Eventually, Tadashi knew that he wasn’t going to get a response and backed up. _I’m sorry Hiro. I’m so sorry for not seeing this._ And then he charged at the door in the darkness. 

His body connected with a dull thud and felt his shoulder protest at the impact. But Tadashi didn’t care. His little brother was in there, overdosed or bleeding to death. He didn’t have time to think about how it would hurt. 

“HIRO!” Tadashi yelled his little brother’s name as he hit the door again and it jerked slightly on it’s hinges. Emboldened, the sixteen year old backed up and lunged forwards again. “Don’t worry, I’m getting you out of there, just hang on!” 

With the groan of breaking wood, Tadashi broke down the door enough to gain access to the bathroom and turned on the light. He felt his knees grow weak as he let himself fall to his knees at the sight of blood pooling around his brother’s red soaked wrist. 

“Hiro, no…” he gasped, the tears he had been holding at bay ever since he found his brother’s internet history streaming down his cheeks. “No, baby brother, my otouto… no please… stay alive!” 

Casting his watery eyes around the room, Tadashi found a towel and pressed it against the wound, gathering the still warm (still warm, his heart nearly stopped in joy at the thought!) body of his little brother close so as to better staunch the blood flow. Tadashi didn’t know how long Hiro had been bleeding for.

He should have been home so much earlier! Curling up around his little brother’s body, Tadashi cried, before lifting up his head and screaming for help, ignoring how his throat tore and he choked on tears. 

_Hiro… why? Please stay alive! Don’t be… Please don’t be dead…_


	2. Chapter 2

_Eight months earlier._

“Oh look at you two, my wonderful highschoolers…” Aunt Cass sighed, dreamily staring at the brothers. She was so busy in her overjoyed staring that she completely missed the shared looks of commiserated misery in the face of an overly mothering force such as their Aunt that the twelve and sixteen year old traded. 

Abruptly, she shook her head and leveled both boys with a stern look, making Hiro straighten from the uncomfortable slouch he was gaining. “Now you boys remember to come straight home, I’m making something _special_ to commemorate my two boys being in high school! I feel so old…” 

Hiro perked up. “Hot wings?” he asked hopefully.

Aunt Cass smilled mysteriously. “Maaaybe.” she said cheerfully. 

“Is it Takoyaki?” Tadashi piped in, grinning at the thought. 

“You boys will have to come home and see, won’t you.” Cass said warmly before squeeling. “Oh come here, both of you! Big hugs, big hugs!” 

With mutual groans, the brothers obliged their Aunt’s clinginess in a group hug. 

“Oh my boys, you both are gowng up so fast…” she sighed, stepping back and wiping away a few tears. “Now. Hurry up, otherwise you both will be late!” she warned. 

“Bye Aunt Cass! C’mon Hiro, race you to the car!” 

“You’re on!” Hiro grinned at the challenge. “On your marks, get set, GO!” the twelve year old crowed. In his excitement though, it came out as “nyermarsgesetGO!” but Tadashi obviously knew what his little brother meant as the two burst into motion and sprinted for the front door. 

“Drive safely, Tadashi!” Aunt Cass called after them, smiling to herself as she watched the two enter into a new stage of life.

***

The cool morning air hit Hiro’s face and he felt a grin spread across his lips as he ran. 

“Last one to the car has to pick up the winner’s room!” he called over to Tadashi who laughed. 

“I’d better make a mess then!” he called in reply. “Otherwise there’ll be nothing for you t pick up!” With that statement out of the way, the elder brother increased his stride. Hiro let out an undignified squawk and followed suite. 

The two Hamada boys ran and leapt off the curb, Tadashi’s longer legs eating up the distance but Hiro had the advantage of youth on his side. And so it was that a dual call of ‟FIRST!” mingled with the thud of two bodies hitting the metal contraption at the same, forming one harmonious note. 

Panting from the exertion, the brothers locked wide eyes and immediately started laughing. 

“We-we didn’t… come up with… a stipulation for…. for a tie!” Hiro howled, tears of laughter leaking out of his eyes.

“So… does this call for a truce?” Tadashi laughed, offering a fist bump to which Hiro - still giggling - obliged. Their knuckles brushed and Hiro made an exploding noise softly, cheeks puffing out as he wiggled his fingers. Tadashi chuckled but made the obligatory ‘boom’ noise as well, wiggling his own fingers at Hiro. 

The two brothers grinned at each other before Hiro moved to go around the back to hop into the passenger seat. Suddenly, Tadashi surged forwards and grabbed the hood of Hiro’s hoodie and yanked him backwards. Choking slightly, his eyes widened as a car sped through the parking lot noisily, nearly clipping Tadashi’s car. 

“Onī-san…” Hiro mumbled shakily, shivering and shocked enough by his near brush with death that he had slipped into calling Tadashi by his formal title gifted to them by their heritage. It had been something that hailed back from when they were little. Something that their American side of the family had slowly bled out. Not intentionally of course, but without the constant reminders… things fade. 

Tadashi shook his head and pulled his little brother close as he glared in the direction of the long gone speeder. “Jerk. He could have killed you at the speed he was going!” 

“I’m _fine_ Tadashi.” Hiro pulled away from his brother’s embrace despite wanting to stay a little longer. Tadashi gave him a once over then nodded, satisfied that there weren’t any true injuries sustained from the incident. 

“C’mon Otōto, let’s go to school.” Tadashi finally said, ruffling Hiro’s hair, making the twelve year old scowl and try to bat the bigger boy’s hand away. 

“Tadashi, stop it! No touchie the hair!” 

“Ooh… scary grammar.” Tadashi teased. “I’m _so_ scared.” 

“Shut up, Nī-san…” Hiro muttered, ignoring the stunned look Tadashi sent his way. 

That was the second time that his little brother had called him that…. Dim memories of a time before Aunt Cass flooded the sixteen year old’s mind and Tadashi found himself with a melting heart and bittersweet tears threatening to fall. 

“ _Tadashi,_ are you gonna unlock the door or not?!” came the familiar impatient drawl and the elder brother shook his head, the thought fading like the others on that same subject always did. 

“Yeah, yeah, hold your horses, Hiro!” Tadashi called, laughing at the impatient huff he got in reply. “You’re such a drama queen.”

“Am _not!_ ” came the indignant squawk, making Tadashi laugh harder as he unlocked the car and slid in.

“I love you, Hiro.” Tadashi murmured, reaching over to brush a hand on his little brother’s shoulder. 

Hiro flushed and looked out the window. “Yeah… same here.” he muttered, clearly embarrassed to be talking about _feelings_ , yuck. 

Tadashi chuckled softly and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot. 

***

Hiro would never admit it, but he was nervous. He was excited to be learning things that would be more of a challenge to his brain yes, but… He would be the youngest Freshman in attendance. Statistically speaking, people didn’t like people who were different. And Hiro was definitely different. 

He was smart for one thing, and he really didn’t have all that big a filter on his mouth - previous experiences in elementary and middle school had shown the results of that nasty combination. Another thing was that he was _small_. And Tadashi was tall and large and looked like he was a grown up. Hiro just… looked like the kid he was. Add that all up and the probability of Hiro being bullied shot up to the higher ranges of 80%. 

He was _different_. And different meant weird. Which equaled being shoved into lockers! Oh he _prayed_ that the lockers were too small for him to fit. But what about bathrooms - did those have cameras or would he get ambushed there and - logically, Hiro knew that he had no true basis for his fears but he couldn’t help it! Hiro knew if he followed this train of thought through it’s logical conclusion, he’d have an anxiety attack. 

“Hiro? We’re here.” Tadashi’s soothing voice broke through the tidal wave of panic and the twelve year old latched onto that feeling of comfort like a life preserver. 

“Okay.” Hiro was glad his voice didn’t reveal how shaken he was to be joining High School’s student population. 

“...you gonna get out?” Tadashi asked, confusion clear in his voice. 

Hiro started and then laughed, ruffling his hair sheepishly. “Yeah, I’m coming! Just got lost in thought!” 

“Don’t wander too much. You won’t know where the exit is, your head’s so big.” Tadashi teased.

The twelve year old rolled his brown eyes. “Oh haha, Tadashi. Very funny.” he deadpanned as he slipped out of the passenger side, backpack slamming into his back. Hiro winced as his books’ sharp corners dug deeply into his spine. 

“Hey, not _all_ of us can be geniuses.” Tadashi shrugged, grinning. 

“You’re one to talk, Mr. I-Skipped-a-Grade.” Hiro snarked, brown eyes sparking in amusement as his smile grew wide enough to crinkle the corners. 

Tadashi threw back his head and let out a loud laugh. 

“That is true, you’ve got me there little brother.” the sixteen year old admitted, shaking his head before jerking it towards the school grounds. “C’mon let’s go.” 

Hiro stared nervously at his brother’s retreating back as the elder headed towards the entrance to the school then slowly nodded, not moving an inch. He watched as Tadashi greeted classmates and was swallowed up by the similarly tall crowd. Tadashi belonged here. Hiro was slowly gaining a creeping feeling that he… wasn’t. 

It was then that Hiro realized something. 

He wasn’t nervous. Oh no, Hiro was _terrified._


	3. Chapter 3

Ms. Clarke, Hiro’s homeroom teacher, was a fairly young woman who had been aptly nicknamed the English Dragon by the general school populous. She ruled with an iron fist and held a firm stance on what she deemed was appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. This sense of fierce fiery opinion rolled off the red head in droves and when Hiro was the first to enter, she simply nodded at him with barely a second glance at how tiny he was. 

This, alongside her firm battle ready stance, made Hiro minutely relax. If there were any problems, he was sure she would catch them. With her no nonsense demeanor, the probability of the older generations finding a way to do some sort of mischief on his small person had greatly diminished. If Hiro had to give an estimate, that percent was now at a 66 instead of an anxiety inducing 80. 

Tentatively, Hiro tagged homeroom as a safe haven. It was tentative, because of the lack of true data gathered to make a solid conclusion. But based off of statistics, the twelve year old could make a hypothesis that he would be safe in this class. Slowly, students filed into the back, and Hiro tensed from his seat in the front row. The trial run to see if his hypothesis was on the right track had begun. 

Most of his fellow Freshmen barely even gave him a second glance, too involved in chatting with their friends, which Hiro was grateful for. He’d hate to have the spotlight on him for something he couldn’t control from day one. So far, so good. 

“Alright!” Ms. Clarke announced, clapping her hands in an attempt to call attention to the fact that Homeroom was starting. Everyone kept chatting to their neighbors and Hiro could sense that a storm was brewing under his homeroom teacher’s skin. The twelve year old watched in stupified facination as Clarke’s face darkened and her eye twitched. 

“Every year…” she muttter to herself before taking a  _ deep  _ breath, “ _ HEY! _ IT’S NOT  _ TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS TIME,  _ IT’S PAY ATTENTION TO THE ANNOUNCEMENTS TIME! _ I WANT TO HEAR MY ANNOUNCEMENTS! _ ” 

Despite Hiro's ringing ears, a giggle wanted to escape his lips as the whole classroom full of unsuspecting Freshmen went quiet all at once, the audible clicking noise of students shutting their mouths resounded loud and clear in the absolute silence. 

"Thank you."

At this time, the speaker crackled to life.  _ “Goood morning, Shibuya Wolves! This is yoooouur principal, Mathew Henriiicks speaking with a speeecail message! Welcome back from the summer months and I hope that this year will be grrrreat!” _ __

There were muffled snorts from the back of the room to which Ms. Clarke leveled the perpetrators with a dark glower. Silence was once again restored. Just in time for an announcement that made Hiro’s blood run cold. 

_ “Also, we have the honor housing our very own, local genius and robotics progidy - HIIIRRRROOOO HAMADA! Younger brother to our very own Science Starrrrr, Tadashhhhhi Hamada, our Hiro - ” _

Why… why did they have to announce that he was smart in front of the whole school? He had the right to share his smarts at his own discretion! They… He… Henricks had no right to announce it - to  _ blare it  _ \- all across campus! That was something private! 

Giggles and confused whispers met his ears. “Who names their kid ‘Hero’?” a girl sitting next to him muttered, tossing her long blonde hair back over her shoulder and observing her nails for imperfections. 

A boy from the back of the room laughed, sharp and mocking, his black hair spiked with gel poking out from a red beanie. “Were they trying to convince him that he was some sort of hero? How lame is  _ that _ ?” 

“Mr. Alexander Andrews _that is_ _enough_!” Ms. Clarke said sharply, “I will not have that kind of language in this homeroom class.”

Andrews leaned back, looking unimpressed. “Pffft, whatever you say Misses C.” 

Hiro bit down on his lip savagely, focusing on his desk as Ms. Clarke worked her way into a rage whilst regaining order n the classroom due to the majority of the classroom burst into raucous laughter at Andrew’s disrespect and uncaring demeanor. 

_ Don’t… don’t listen, Hiro!  _ the twelve year old instructed himself, in a voice that sounded remarkably like Tadashi.  _ Okaasan and Otousan chose your name because it means generous, tolerant. So use that tolerance that they hoped for and don’t do something stupid!  _

_ “ - ordinarily starting ninth grade but our Hiro proved too smart!” _

“Like that’s a good thing. He should’ve stayed with the other loosers and played on the playground like a good little brat.” Andrews said snidely. 

Hiro’s lip ached from the pressure he was using to bite down on it to keep from saying something that would get him punched in the nose. That sense of not belonging from the parking lot hit him like sledgehammer to the chest, making it hard to breathe. 

_ “So give him a grrreat big welcome, I’m sure our Hiro lead us all to greatness!”  _

_ I’M NOT YOURS, SO STOP SAYING ‘OUR HIRO’ I DON’T BELONG TO ANYONE!  _ Hiro screamed in his head. A sharp pain made him jerk as the metallic tang of blood filled his mouth. He had bitten through his lower lip. 

Eyes wide, Hiro covered his mouth with his hands and fought to keep from swallowing the hot liquid. The screech of his chair sliding back brought an unwanted amount of attention to his short stature and whispers flooded the room in his wake as he quickly rushed towards Ms. Clarke who upon seeing the blood leaking through his clenched figures, nodded towards the door. 

“Go see a nurse, Hiro.” she instructed with dark sympathy in her eyes and flashed him a sympathetic smile that held no pity in them before turning her head to sharply glare at Andrews who was staring at the twelve year old with an unreadable expression. The entire class gasped at the fact that “Hero” Hamada was in their class and had heard all the cutting remarks. The girl with blonde hair looked down at her desk, wide eyed. 

Hiro debated bowing to her - even though he hadn’t dipped into his faded memories of Japanese customs in ages - and settled for an awkward dip of the head that caused his upper half to give a half bow. He couldn’t really speak with all the blood in his mouth anyways. The twelve year old spun on his heel and tore out of the room, using his shoulder to push the door open. 

He tried to ignore the mocking laughter that had sprung up because of that bow, of that drawing of his cultural heritage. His eyes burned as he fled the scorn of his fellow year mates, and tried to convince himself that it was because biting his lip was painful enough for them to water like they were. 

***

Tadashi choked on his spit at the unexpected turn the announcements had taken. 

“Your brother’s pretty smart, right? Think he’d be able to do my homework for me?” Thomas Matthews leaned back on his chair, the chair’s front two legs up in the air, grinning as he brushed his hand through yellow hair. 

Tadashi frowned and pushed his friend’s chair back on all fours. “My little brother has an honor code, Thomas, he wouldn’t do that. Don’t try to get out of your own work you lazy bum.” the sixteen year old scolded, reaching over to swat the seventeen year old in the back of the head. 

Thomas pushed away his hand with a scowl. “But work is so booorring!” he protested. 

Tadashi rolled his eyes. 

“You’ll never get a job and get into college that way.” Tadashi reminded him. 

“Bluh. You and your drive to go to  _ college _ .” Thomas made a face at the thought of  _ more school _ , as if tasting something sour. “ Live in the moment man, stop thinking so far ahead! Party a little! Live life!” 

“And be a highschool dropout like you?” Tadashi smirked before sighing. “College opens so many doors, Thomas. You have no idea how many opportunities you’re missing out on by not getting at  _ least _ your high school diploma.”

“You sound like one of those stupid counselors. ‘Get good grades!’ ‘Don’t do drugs!’ ‘Don’t drink until you’re 21!’ It’s like…” Thomas paused for a moment to try and think of the words, “It’s like they think we’re irresponsible or somethin’.” 

Tadashi grinned. “Well you know, back in the 2000’s, there was a famous study that found that teenagers are actually losing grey matter in the prefrontal cortex-” 

“Stop! Stop! Stop! I don’ wanna hear about your sick fascination with medical science!” Thomas yelped, before his stomach growled. “Ugh… I’m hungry…. I can’t wait until lunch…” 

“You had  _ five breakfast burritos  _ from Machirin’s Tacos for breakfast.” Tadashi deadpanned. “That’s like more than five hundred  _ calories _ .  _ How  _ are you still hungry?” 

“He’s a bottomless pit, that’s why.” 

Both Tadashi and Thomas jumped at the sudden female voice that had chimed in from behind them. 

Thomas twisted in his stead and scowled furiously, “Really Morris?  _ Eavesdropping?  _ That’s low even for  _ you _ .” 

The eighteen year old rolled her eyes. “i’m right behind you, I’d have to be deaf to _not_ hear your conversation.” 

The blonde senior groaned as Tadashi nodded thoughtfully. “She’s right you know. We  _ were _ talking pretty loudly.” 

Thomas huffed. “Whatever, dudes. I’m takin’ a nap. Peace out and all that jazz.” Without further ado, the senior who prefered surfing to being in school, laid down his head on his folded arms and in the matter of two minutes started snoring softly. 

“Does… Does he always fall asleep that fast?” Morris whispered, eyes wide. “Tadashi nodded with a weary sigh.

“It makes it hard to have a study partner when he’s always falling asleep at the drop of a hat.” the Japanese-American said ruefully. 

Morris smiled. “You really care about your education, don’t you?” 

Tadashi shrugged. “I’ve said it before, but it opens doors.”

“We just need to escape the Hell known as High School.” Morris agreed before adding, “Not many teenagers think about education the way you do, Tadashi.” 

The sixteen year old sighed and dragged a hand through his bare head. “I want to help a lot of people, but I can’t do that where I am here.” he looked up at Morris amd stuck out his hand. “I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced, I’m Tadashi Hamada but… you probably already knew that though, huh?” 

Morris took it firmly and shoot it with a bright grin. “Evelynn Morris. Most people just call me Eve.” 

Tadashi nodded, his grin matching hers. “Nice to meet you, Eve.” 

***

Hiro was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, day. 

Instead of the prefered anonymity when he left the nurse’s office to go to his next class after his lip had finally stopped bleeding, he was pelted with strange looks and questioning whispers. 

“Think he’ll do my homework for me?”

“What’s a  _ shrimp  _ doing here?”

“Yeah! Go back to the sandbox, where you belong!!” 

“ _ Quiet _ ! Don’t you realize who you’re calling names? That’s Tadashi Hamada’s little brother! If he hears you saying stuff like that, who knows what he’ll invent to get revenge on you!”

“Like Hamada would care, he’s probably called his brother  _ worse _ things. What big brother doesn’t?”

“I-I dunno man… Hamada’s really protective. Don’t stir up a hornets nest when you don’t have someone to aim them at.” 

Hiro stumbled into class and slumped into a seat, burying his head in his arms with a weary groan. 

“Hiro Hamada… tired of your fame already?” his science teacher questioned, raising an eyebrow as the twelve year old started. 

“Uh… I n-never asked for Principal Henricks to do that, sir.” Hiro stuttered, nerves shot to kingdom come and back as he fidgeted. 

“Hmn…. well don’t expect to get any  _ special treatment _ here, Mr. Hamada. I had your brother for Physical Science and it was… how shall I put it?” his teacher, a balding man in his late forties hmmed and hawwed for about a minute before drawling, “ _ Exasperating. _ ” 

Hiro blanched. “E-Exasperating, sir?” he asked for clarification.

But the science teacher moved on, turning around to write something on the board. “I pray you won’t be so… difficult.” 

Hiro felt his face drain of color as he read the two words that had filled his nights with dread whenever Tadashi would come home with a tale of horror about highschool grade science classes:  _ Mr. Hanndelst.  _ With a groan, he buried his head into his arms again. It was official, he hated high school. 


	4. Chapter 4

Ms. Clarke, Hiro’s homeroom teacher, was a fairly young woman who had been aptly nicknamed the English Dragon by the general school populous. She ruled with an iron fist and held a firm stance on what she deemed was appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. This sense of fierce fiery opinion rolled off the red head in droves and when Hiro was the first to enter, she simply nodded at him with barely a second glance at how tiny he was. 

This, alongside her firm battle ready stance, made Hiro minutely relax. If there were any problems, he was sure she would catch them. With her no nonsense demeanor, the probability of the older generations finding a way to do some sort of mischief on his small person had greatly diminished. If Hiro had to give an estimate, that percent was now at a 66 instead of an anxiety inducing 80. 

Tentatively, Hiro tagged homeroom as a safe haven. It was tentative, because of the lack of true data gathered to make a solid conclusion. But based off of statistics, the twelve year old could make a hypothesis that he would be safe in this class. Slowly, students filed into the back, and Hiro tensed from his seat in the front row. The trial run to see if his hypothesis was on the right track had begun. 

Most of his fellow Freshmen barely even gave him a second glance, too involved in chatting with their friends, which Hiro was grateful for. He’d hate to have the spotlight on him for something he couldn’t control from day one. So far, so good. 

“Alright!” Ms. Clarke announced, clapping her hands in an attempt to call attention to the fact that Homeroom was starting. Everyone kept chatting to their neighbors and Hiro could sense that a storm was brewing under his homeroom teacher’s skin. The twelve year old watched in stupified facination as Clarke’s face darkened and her eye twitched. 

“Every year…” she muttter to herself before taking a _deep_ breath, “ _HEY!_ IT’S NOT _TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS TIME,_ IT’S PAY ATTENTION TO THE ANNOUNCEMENTS TIME! _I WANT TO HEAR MY ANNOUNCEMENTS!_ ” 

Despite Hiro's ringing ears, a giggle wanted to escape his lips as the whole classroom full of unsuspecting Freshmen went quiet all at once, the audible clicking noise of students shutting their mouths resounded loud and clear in the absolute silence. 

"Thank you."

At this time, the speaker crackled to life. _“Goood morning, Shibuya Wolves! This is yoooouur principal, Mathew Henriiicks speaking with a speeecail message! Welcome back from the summer months and I hope that this year will be grrrreat!”_

There were muffled snorts from the back of the room to which Ms. Clarke leveled the perpetrators with a dark glower. Silence was once again restored. Just in time for an announcement that made Hiro’s blood run cold. 

_“Also, we have the honor housing our very own, local genius and robotics progidy - HIIIRRRROOOO HAMADA! Younger brother to our very own Science Starrrrr, Tadashhhhhi Hamada, our Hiro - ”_

Why… why did they have to announce that he was smart in front of the whole school? He had the right to share his smarts at his own discretion! They… He… Henricks had no right to announce it - to _blare it_ \- all across campus! That was something private! 

Giggles and confused whispers met his ears. “Who names their kid ‘Hero’?” a girl sitting next to him muttered, tossing her long blonde hair back over her shoulder and observing her nails for imperfections. 

A boy from the back of the room laughed, sharp and mocking, his black hair spiked with gel poking out from a red beanie. “Were they trying to convince him that he was some sort of hero? How lame is _that_?” 

“Mr. Alexander Andrews _that is_ _enough_!” Ms. Clarke said sharply, “I will not have that kind of language in this homeroom class.”

Andrews leaned back, looking unimpressed. “Pffft, whatever you say Misses C.” 

Hiro bit down on his lip savagely, focusing on his desk as Ms. Clarke worked her way into a rage whilst regaining order n the classroom due to the majority of the classroom burst into raucous laughter at Andrew’s disrespect and uncaring demeanor. 

_Don’t… don’t listen, Hiro!_ the twelve year old instructed himself, in a voice that sounded remarkably like Tadashi. _Okaasan and Otousan chose your name because it means generous, tolerant. So use that tolerance that they hoped for and don’t do something stupid!_

_“ - ordinarily starting ninth grade but our Hiro proved too smart!”_

“Like that’s a good thing. He should’ve stayed with the other loosers and played on the playground like a good little brat.” Andrews said snidely. 

Hiro’s lip ached from the pressure he was using to bite down on it to keep from saying something that would get him punched in the nose. That sense of not belonging from the parking lot hit him like sledgehammer to the chest, making it hard to breathe. 

_“So give him a grrreat big welcome, I’m sure our Hiro lead us all to greatness!”_

_I’M NOT YOURS, SO STOP SAYING ‘OUR HIRO’ I DON’T BELONG TO ANYONE!_ Hiro screamed in his head. A sharp pain made him jerk as the metallic tang of blood filled his mouth. He had bitten through his lower lip. 

Eyes wide, Hiro covered his mouth with his hands and fought to keep from swallowing the hot liquid. The screech of his chair sliding back brought an unwanted amount of attention to his short stature and whispers flooded the room in his wake as he quickly rushed towards Ms. Clarke who upon seeing the blood leaking through his clenched figures, nodded towards the door. 

“Go see a nurse, Hiro.” she instructed with dark sympathy in her eyes and flashed him a sympathetic smile that held no pity in them before turning her head to sharply glare at Andrews who was staring at the twelve year old with an unreadable expression. The entire class gasped at the fact that “Hero” Hamada was in their class and had heard all the cutting remarks. The girl with blonde hair looked down at her desk, wide eyed. 

Hiro debated bowing to her - even though he hadn’t dipped into his faded memories of Japanese customs in ages - and settled for an awkward dip of the head that caused his upper half to give a half bow. He couldn’t really speak with all the blood in his mouth anyways. The twelve year old spun on his heel and tore out of the room, using his shoulder to push the door open. 

He tried to ignore the mocking laughter that had sprung up because of that bow, of that drawing of his cultural heritage. His eyes burned as he fled the scorn of his fellow year mates, and tried to convince himself that it was because biting his lip was painful enough for them to water like they were. 

***

Tadashi choked on his spit at the unexpected turn the announcements had taken. 

“Your brother’s pretty smart, right? Think he’d be able to do my homework for me?” Thomas Matthews leaned back on his chair, the chair’s front two legs up in the air, grinning as he brushed his hand through yellow hair. 

Tadashi frowned and pushed his friend’s chair back on all fours. “My little brother has an honor code, Thomas, he wouldn’t do that. Don’t try to get out of your own work you lazy bum.” the sixteen year old scolded, reaching over to swat the seventeen year old in the back of the head. 

Thomas pushed away his hand with a scowl. “But work is so booorring!” he protested. 

Tadashi rolled his eyes. 

“You’ll never get a job and get into college that way.” Tadashi reminded him. 

“Bluh. You and your drive to go to _college_ .” Thomas made a face at the thought of _more school_ , as if tasting something sour. “ Live in the moment man, stop thinking so far ahead! Party a little! Live life!” 

“And be a highschool dropout like you?” Tadashi smirked before sighing. “College opens so many doors, Thomas. You have no idea how many opportunities you’re missing out on by not getting at _least_ your high school diploma.”

“You sound like one of those stupid counselors. ‘Get good grades!’ ‘Don’t do drugs!’ ‘Don’t drink until you’re 21!’ It’s like…” Thomas paused for a moment to try and think of the words, “It’s like they think we’re irresponsible or somethin’.” 

Tadashi grinned. “Well you know, back in the 2000’s, there was a famous study that found that teenagers are actually losing grey matter in the prefrontal cortex-” 

“Stop! Stop! Stop! I don’ wanna hear about your sick fascination with medical science!” Thomas yelped, before his stomach growled. “Ugh… I’m hungry…. I can’t wait until lunch…” 

“You had _five breakfast burritos_ from Machirin’s Tacos for breakfast.” Tadashi deadpanned. “That’s like more than five hundred _calories_ . _How_ are you still hungry?” 

“He’s a bottomless pit, that’s why.” 

Both Tadashi and Thomas jumped at the sudden female voice that had chimed in from behind them. 

Thomas twisted in his stead and scowled furiously, “Really Morris? _Eavesdropping?_ That’s low even for _you_.” 

The eighteen year old rolled her eyes. “i’m right behind you, I’d have to be deaf to _not_ hear your conversation.” 

The blonde senior groaned as Tadashi nodded thoughtfully. “She’s right you know. We _were_ talking pretty loudly.” 

Thomas huffed. “Whatever, dudes. I’m takin’ a nap. Peace out and all that jazz.” Without further ado, the senior who prefered surfing to being in school, laid down his head on his folded arms and in the matter of two minutes started snoring softly. 

“Does… Does he always fall asleep that fast?” Morris whispered, eyes wide. “Tadashi nodded with a weary sigh.

“It makes it hard to have a study partner when he’s always falling asleep at the drop of a hat.” the Japanese-American said ruefully. 

Morris smiled. “You really care about your education, don’t you?” 

Tadashi shrugged. “I’ve said it before, but it opens doors.”

“We just need to escape the Hell known as High School.” Morris agreed before adding, “Not many teenagers think about education the way you do, Tadashi.” 

The sixteen year old sighed and dragged a hand through his bare head. “I want to help a lot of people, but I can’t do that where I am here.” he looked up at Morris amd stuck out his hand. “I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced, I’m Tadashi Hamada but… you probably already knew that though, huh?” 

Morris took it firmly and shoot it with a bright grin. “Evelynn Morris. Most people just call me Eve.” 

Tadashi nodded, his grin matching hers. “Nice to meet you, Eve.” 

***

Hiro was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, day. 

Instead of the prefered anonymity when he left the nurse’s office to go to his next class after his lip had finally stopped bleeding, he was pelted with strange looks and questioning whispers. 

“Think he’ll do my homework for me?”

“What’s a _shrimp_ doing here?”

“Yeah! Go back to the sandbox, where you belong!!” 

“ _Quiet_! Don’t you realize who you’re calling names? That’s Tadashi Hamada’s little brother! If he hears you saying stuff like that, who knows what he’ll invent to get revenge on you!”

“Like Hamada would care, he’s probably called his brother _worse_ things. What big brother doesn’t?”

“I-I dunno man… Hamada’s really protective. Don’t stir up a hornets nest when you don’t have someone to aim them at.” 

Hiro stumbled into class and slumped into a seat, burying his head in his arms with a weary groan. 

“Hiro Hamada… tired of your fame already?” his science teacher questioned, raising an eyebrow as the twelve year old started. 

“Uh… I n-never asked for Principal Henricks to do that, sir.” Hiro stuttered, nerves shot to kingdom come and back as he fidgeted. 

“Hmn…. well don’t expect to get any _special treatment_ here, Mr. Hamada. I had your brother for Physical Science and it was… how shall I put it?” his teacher, a balding man in his late forties hmmed and hawwed for about a minute before drawling, “ _Exasperating._ ” 

Hiro blanched. “E-Exasperating, sir?” he asked for clarification.

But the science teacher moved on, turning around to write something on the board. “I pray you won’t be so… difficult.” 

Hiro felt his face drain of color as he read the two words that had filled his nights with dread whenever Tadashi would come home with a tale of horror about highschool grade science classes: _Mr. Hanndelst._ With a groan, he buried his head into his arms again. It was official, he hated high school.


	5. Chapter 5

Hiro was exhausted. He hadn’t run that far or hard since he was _five_ . Who did those coaches think they were, athletes training for the _Olympics_? Knowing the statistics, the probability of that thought being true was at 99.45%. 

“Hey Hiro, how’s your first day been?” a familiar and welcome voice called, making Hiro start and look up to see his older brother slipping out of the crowd and approaching him. 

“Oh you know…. just survived a murder attempt via weights in gym.” Hiro grinned tiredly, fighting back a yawn. Tadashi winced in sympathy.

“There’s many reasons why we’re into the sciences and that’s one of them.” the sixteen year old said, lightly patting Hiro on the back.

The twelve year old’s sore muscles protested this form of affection and Hiro slowly let his breath out from behind gritted teeth.

“Can we go home now? I just wanna fall onto my bed and sleep the rest of the day away.” Hiro entreeted his older brother who nodded, smiling softly. 

“Sure thing, bonehead.” Tadashi grinned, ruffling Hiro’s sweaty hair, making the younger boy to squawk.

“Tadashi! My hair’s off limits, remember!?” 

The elder brother laughed, pushing down and off of Hiro’s slightly damp head before walking in the direction of the car, leaving Hiro to scramble to catch up. 

“Wait up! I’m exhausted remember!” the twelve year old called to his brother who whirled around with a gleeful gleam in his eye that instantly put Hiro on guard. 

“You’re exhausted, huh?” Tadashi said, grinning widely as he slowly stalked towards a quickly backpedalling Hiro. “Good thing you have me then!” 

And then Tadashi surged forwards and grabbed Hiro arround the waist, earning a startled squawk from the twelve year old’s lips. 

“Tadashi! Let me go!” Hiro squirmed in his brother’s grip, sneaker clad feet kicking the air as the elder brother hefted him up and over his shoulder like a stack of potatoes. “ _Put me down! TADASHI!_ ” 

Tadashi grinned, holding his squirming bundle firmly lest he drop his little brother. 

“Nooope.” he drawled. 

Hiro let out a disgusted huff as he slumped into his brother’s shoulder. “This is _embarassing_.” the twelve year old grumbled, arms folded as best as his conditions could allow. 

“You did say you were tried.” Tadashi pointed out.

“But I didn’t mean ffor you to pick me up and carry me like a little kid!” Hiro complained. 

“Hiro.” Tadashi deadpanned. “You _are_ a little kid.” 

Hiro scowled and thwacked his brother in the ear, having tried to aim for the back of his brother’s head instead. 

“Shut up.” the twelve year old grumbled. 

Tadashi just laughed before he suddenly swung Hiro up and over his shoulder and to the ground, making Hiro yelp at the sudden movement. 

It was then that Hiro realized that they were at Tadashi’s car. 

“Admit it Hiro, you had fun.” Tadashi teased as he unlocked the car. 

Hiro sulked as he slipped into the passenger seat. Dumping his backpack by his feet, he slumped back with a tired sigh. The boy listened with half lidded eyes as Tadashi sat his bookback in the back seat before slipping into the driver’s seat and buckling himself in. With a quiet huff, Hiro reached for his own seatbelt.

“You ready to see what Aunt Cass has in store for us?” Tadashi asked as Hiro’s seatbelt clicked. 

“Hope it’s hot wings!” Despite being bone dead tired, Hiro still managed to drag out one of his trademark eye crinkling grins. 

Tadashi made a face. “The ones that make our faces numb? How about no thanks.” 

“You just can’t take the heat!” Hiro crowed, slowly waking up in his excitement. 

Tadashi grinned tolerantly as he shot back, “ _You_ just don’t like Takoyaki.” 

“It has _fish_ in it! _Yuck!_ ” Hiro stuck out his tongue childishly.

“It’s octopus, Hiro. Not fish.” 

“Still tastes gross!” 

“And _I_ hate having my mouth numb for days afterwards!” 

Hiro had a devious idea. “Fine! Let’s have a bet!” 

Tadashi shot his younger brother a wary but considering look. “A bet? What kind of bet?”

“If your dish gets served tonight, I’ll… I’ll take out the trash for a week, and I’ll even clean the tables too!” Hiro promised, even though just the thought of taking out the trash plus cleaning the tables made him want to gag. 

“And if _I_ lose?” Tadashi prompted. 

“You can clean my room for me!” Hiro grinned. 

Tadashi let out a loud laugh and reached over to lightly shove at his younger brother’s shoulder. “You really don’t want to clean your room this week, do you.” 

“Sooo….? Do we have a deal?” Hiro prompted, ignoring the statement. 

Tadashi laughed, shaking his head. “Sure, bonehead.” he teased. Hiro grinned, leaning back. 

***

Aunt Cass and a few regulars jumped as the door was slammed open with a dual cry of “FIRST!” 

“ _Boys_! What have I told you about slamming the door open!” Cass scolded and the two boys halted with guilty expressions on their faces. 

“Sorry Aunt Cass…” the brothers chorused in near unison, both resolutely looking at their shoes. 

Cass sighed and shook her auburn head. “Go wash up, dinner’s on the table.” she instructed and both boys ran to do her bidding, highschool having turned them into famished monsters known as teenagers. 

“Thanks Aunt Cass!” Tadashi called as he rushed passed, Hiro just nodding has he hopped over the stall leading into the back. “Hiro! Don’t jump that, you’ll break it!” 

“Remember our bet, Tadashi!” Hiro called back, unperturbed. 

“And I thought you were exhausted!” Tadashi yelled, sliding to a halt so as to gently unlatch the door through the counter. 

“The bet!” the younger Hamada remained steadfast in his reminder.

“I remember, Hiro!” Tadashi rolled his eyes and strolled into the family eating area when he noticed his little brother standing stock still, staring at the table. “...what’s up?” he asked.

Hiro turned his head and started snickering, wordlessly pointing at the table where the debated dishes were set upon. 

Tadashi snorted and that’s what caused Hiro to collapse in a fit of laughter. The sixteen soon joined his brother on the floor, memories of earlier that morning filling his mind. 

“We gotta start planning for our bets to not come true!” 

Hiro giggled, nodding in agreement. 

Aunt Cass popped her head into the room to see what all the commotion was about and smiled at the laughing boys. She had been worried, but seeing Hiro so obviously happy, she was sure he had a wonderful day.


	6. Chapter 6

_ Four months ago... _

Tadashi gripped the steering wheel tensely as he waited for Hiro to finally emerge from the school. It had been ten minutes since the bell had rung and released it’s prisoners into the real world, and the sixteen year old was getting antsy. 

“C’mon Hiro…” he sighed to himself, tapping his fingers against the hard circle and glaring at nothing. “Of all days to be late, you chose  _ this _ one?”

The minutes passed slowly for Tadashi, and finally, the bushy mop of messy hair could be seen through the thinning crowd of milling high students. The twelve year old harshly bumped into someone walking the other way and a dark grimace filled the younger Hamada’s face. Tadashi did a double take but the dark look had passed and Hiro’s face was once again the blank neutral state it had been three months ago. The small highschool genius slipped past two burly seniors that Tadashi didn’t know really well and then Hiro was at the curb, yanking open the door and slamming it shut. 

Tadashi started the car. “Where were you? Didn’t I tell you that Aunt Cass needs the car right after school?” he demanded of his little brother. 

“‘How was your day, Hiro?’ ‘Oh it was fine,  _ thanks for asking Tadashi. _ ’” Hiro snarked grumpily. “And if you  _ must _ know, I was held up.” 

“Yeah, well don’t let it happen again.” Tadashi sighed, “And put on your seat belt. I don’t want to have you go flying out the windshield.” 

“Yeah… whatever…” Hiro rolled his eyes but the click of his seatbelt told Tadashi that he’d done it anyways, despite the testy mood. The elder Hamada put the dark into drive and the vehicle rolled slowly into motion as Tadashi made sure to keep out of the way of any errant highschooler. 

Hiro’s phone buzzed, but Tadashi saw that it was being ignored. Almost a second later, it buzzed again. 

After a few minutes of this pattern, Tadashi glanced over at his little brother in confusion. “Aren’t you gonna answer those?” The sixteen year old asked, noting that Hiro hadn’t even glanced at his phone. 

“No.” the twelve year old said, looking out at the passing scenery of San Fransokyo, and shoving his phone in his pockets. Tadashi found himself at a loss for what to say. 

The rest of the drive home was spent in a heavy silence punctuated by Hiro’s phone buzzing agitatedly in his pocket. Hiro never looked at any of the messages. 

It would be four more months until Tadashi would understand the significance of this. And he would beat himself up for not noticing the problems while they were going on right under his nose, right up until the very moment he died.

But in this moment, Tadashi remained unaware, and so was not able to stop the events being put into motion. For now, all the sixteen year old knew was that Hiro was in a bad mood, and that made his already strained mood all the more ready to snap. 

Tadashi pulled into an empty spot in the parking lot of the cafe and felt his eyebrow twitch as Hiro slammed his door on his way out. 

“Hiro! Don’t slam my car door!” he called, slipping out of the car. 

“Technically, it’s Aunt Cass’ car! And you do it all the time!” Hiro shot back, a scowl on his face. 

Grudgingly, Tadashi acknowledged his little brother’s point. “But still...”

Hiro rolled his eyes and shouldered his back more securely. “Whatever, I’m heading in.” 

There was no cheerful bet, no trying to get out of chores, and no racing to see who would be first to the Cafe doors as Hiro whirled around and stomped away. Tadashi scowled and shook his head, locking the car doors before walking slowly after his little brother. 

Already, Hiro had disappeared from view and when Tadashi walked in, one of the waitresses was comforting a sniffing Aunt Cass and the Regulars were staring at where the twelve year old had gone. 

“Aunt Cass?” Tadashi tenatively asked, approaching his crying aunt. “What happened?”

“It’s that boy! When I told him to not slam the door, he yelled that I wasn’t his mother. Tadashi… I know growing up is hard but…” Aunt Cass sniffed again and Tadashi’s frown deepened as he pulled Cass into a hug. 

“I’ll talk to him, Aunt Cass. That’s no way he should be talking to you. You’ve been great to us.” Tadashi said, pulling back. Aunt Cass sniffed and wiped away some stray tears. 

“Go make yourself a cup of tea.” Tadashi suggested a he headed towards the stairs. “I’ll come down to help out once I’ve talked some sense into him! You have that meeting to go to, remember?” 

“Oh! Thank you Tadashi!” Aunt Cass called, accepting a mug from one of the waiters who had watched to whole situation and had prepared a mug of tea to help. “Thank you Matthew.” she sighed appreciatively.

The waiter known as Matthew nodded and went back to serving tables and getting orders with a quiet, “You’re welcome.” to his boss. 

***

Hiro knew he would be in deep trouble once Tadashi found out about how he’d blown up at Aunt Cass. And he felt horrible, but that didn’t excuse the fact that  _ they didn’t notice anything was wrong.  _ And he just - he couldn’t - he just felt so - so - so - he didn’t even know what he felt! 

All he knew was that everyone was out to get him, practically from day one! Mr. Hanndelst always gave him more homework than was necessary, and always picked up on when Hiro was seriously confused. The PE department was screwed up and made them run a mile without consideration for the health of their students, like making sure everyone had stretched significantly enough to make sure no one tore ligaments. They  _ didn’t do that _ . And they pushed everyone so hard, that the bar for getting an A was so stressful, that Hiro had seen some students break down and cry after class in the locker room when it was announced that there would be a certain chain of exercises the next day. 

The twelve year old would walk out of that gym class with more aches and bruises than when he got in. Not just from the work out, but from the boys as well. Especially the juniors. They’d shove him against the wall then laugh when he’d try to stand up for himself because - hey what can a  _ shrimp  _ do against tall boys who weigh more? 

And they’d always do it when the coaches’ backs were turned, so Hiro had no one to vouch for the harassment. And so, Hiro suffered it silently, feeling more and more bruised with every passing PE period. 

He was tired. Tired of this but even with his great intellect, he didn’t know what to do or how to stop it. A part of him kept saying that he just needed to tell someone about what was going on but that part was smothered by the rest of him that agreed with what everyone around him was saying. He  _ was  _ weird. He  _ was _ strange. He was tiny, he was too young, he was socially unprepared, he was a wimp. And that all culminated to one thing:

Hiro Hamada was a freak. 

So if all of this was true, why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like his heart was slowly being ripped to pieces over and over with no end in sight? Why was he always lashing out now, and finding it so hard to even  _ smile _ ? 

Why did laughing hurt, when before… before he could laugh and feel so free that if he had wings, he could have flown away on a summer breeze? But now the summer winds had gone and brought in the chill of cold winter, and Hiro was left without even a jacket. With a whimper, the boy curled into a ball in the darkness of his half of the room facing the wall and feeling miserable and alone. 

“Hiro?” 

The younger Hamada stiffened as the light turned on with a click of the light switch and tensed even further as the bed dipped with the heavy presence of his older brother. Yet, despite that, Hiro didn’t want to turn around to face Tadashi’s disapproval. He clenched his eyes shut and felt hot tears leak down his face despite his instructing his body not to.

“Hiro, c’mon what’s wrong? Why did you yell at Aunt Cass?” Tadashi asked, sounding concerned. Hiro said nothing, hoping that the older Hamada would just give up and leave already. He wanted to be alone ( _ No! Don’t leave me! Stay and hug me like you did when we were younger! I can’t trust myself to be alone… I don’t… I don’t want to be alone… Tadashi, help me… _ ). 

“C’mon you bonehead, I know you’re not asleep so cut it out already.” Tadashi was sounding angry now. Hiro  _ really  _ didn’t want to face Tadashi if he was angry… A sniffle escaped his notice and Hiro felt his chest freeze. 

“...Hiro?” Tadashi was back to sounding worried again. Hiro decided that that was worse than Tadashi sounding angry but he just couldn’t bring himself to look at his older brother. 

“Tadashi… please just leave me alone…” Hiro found himself whispering. His heart protested what his mind was making him say. He wanted Tadashi to ignore his words and hug him until he just broke down and cried, telling Tadashi everything. He wanted that to happen but there was a process. It was a stupid process and Hiro hated himself for even doing it. But he had to see if Tadashi could really see through him like he used to.

“No. You and I are going to have a talk.” Tadashi said firmly. 

Hiro wanted to sit up and yell. "Just leave me  _ alone _ Tadashi." Wait! No, that wasn't what he wanted to say!  _ Stay! Read behind the lines Tadashi I know you're smart!  _ His heart screamed. 

Too bad his heart and head weren't talking to eachother. 

" _ Fine _ . Since you're so  _ dead set _ on being alone, I guess I'll chew you out later. Have fun with your pity party,  _ bonehead _ ." Tadashi said, and a coldness filled Hiro's chest as the weight disappeared from the bed. Hiro hadn't realized how comforting that dip had been until it was gone. The coldness spread out from his chest and creeped down into his stomach as the door slammed shut.

A trembling sob escaped his lips to which he slapped his hands over his mouth to muffle the ones that came after. Hiro thought he’d curled up as far as he could, but that turned out to an underestimation of his body’s flexibility. With each muffled sob, Hiro curled tighter and tighter in on himself until his head was tucked firmly between his knees. Eventually, Hiro fell asleep like that, curled in fetal position. 

No one knew, but that moment had planted a dark filthy seed. That seed, if left to flourish in the depths of the fertile darkness of Hiro’s stressed and tired mind, would eventually grow into a dangerous, mind choking weed. 

Tadashi had missed his chance to pluck the sprouting weed before it grew too dangerous and spurred Hiro into rash actions, but perhaps another would be able to halt the insidious weed known as depression… 


	7. Chapter 7

_ Ordinary Gifted - OG - joined chat at -- 12:17 PM --  _

_ OG: Hi. Um… I’m Ordinary Gifted and I guess you’re my partner? _

_ OG: For the social project? _

_ For school? _

_ Um… hello? _

_ Highcrest TOmoko - HT - joined chat at -- 12:21 PM --  _

_ HT: HI!  _

_ OG: Oh wow. I wasn’t expecting you to respond so fast.  _

_ HT: hehe… sorry… Anyways it’s nice to meet you! You can call me Tomoko~ _

_ OG: Oh yeah, the anonymity thing. Well  _

_ Ordinary Gifted - OG - is idle -- 12:32 PM --  _

Hiro let out a pained yelp as he was slammed into the wall. Sensing trouble, the twelve year old quickly stuck his already buzzing phone into his pocket.

“Watch where you’re going,  _ nerd _ .” one of the culprits sneered. Hiro scowled and rubbed his bruised and aching shoulder.

“What you looking at,  _ nerd _ .” the ringleader, the boy from Homeroom (what was his name? Andrews? That sounded right.) sneered. 

Hiro hated it, but they terrified him. “Heh-hey… gu-guys… haven’t yo… beaten me up enough for the week?” Hiro’s voice squeaked in his terror and the three towering freshmen looked at each other and laughed. Hiro flinched at the noise, knowing he looked pathetic. 

“Like you can stop us,  _ nerd _ .” Andrews sneered, and suddenly, Hiro found himself firmly in the grasp of Andrews’ two little cronie side kicks and being dragged down the hall. 

“Hey! No! Let me go! I haven’t done any-” the twelve year old was cut off by a punch to the gut, leaving him bent over and gagging, his legs nearly collapsing from underneath him. The only reason why Hiro’s face didn’t greet the floor like an old excitable friend was the harsh grip held on his arms, making him cry out breathlessly as they were wrenched painfully backwards due to the first and third laws of physics. 

“Don’t you -  _ ow ow ow ow  _ \- think that -  _ ow!  _ \- this is a little  _ uncalled for _ ?” Hiro’s voice raised in pitch until it broke at the end, leaving him shaking and his feet dragging.

“Be quiet  _ nerd _ .” one of the bullies sneered and Hiro let out a pained huff. 

“Seriously? Isn’t there some  _ other  _ derogatory word you could use to describe me?” Hiro asked sarcastically. Then the twelve year old looked up and realized just where they were heading. 

“Oh no…  _ NO! Stop! Please, no! _ ” Hiro cried out, trying to get his feet under him so as to halt their trek towards one of the places he’d feared to be forced to go into ever since the beginning. A whimper escaped his lips as the sign for the boy’s bathroom came into view, his breath catching in his throat. 

Wildly, Hiro cast his eyes about the hall, trying to see if there was anyone close enough to help him if he yelled. The hallway was crowded, and through the fog of panic in Hiro’s mind, he cursed lunch hour. 

Andrews pushed open the door leading into the boy’s bathroom and Hiro found himself unable to breathe. Panic froze his chest despite how it spasmed while trying to get in enough air. 

“So Nerd, ever consider taking a swim?” the fifteen year old freshman asked the struggling twelve year old, a twisted smirk on his face. 

“Please dont!” Hiro begged, eyes wide with terror. 

“Should’ve done our homework,  _ nerd. _ ” the ringleader sneered, opening the handicapped stall. 

“You earned that grade, Andrews!” Hiro gasped, sounding braver than he actually felt. 

Andrews leaned close to Hiro’s sweaty face. “Because of you, I’m having to retake the class.” he hissed. 

“You did nothing, you can’t expect to pass a class by just skating through and doing no work at all-” Hiro’s head snapped to the side, his cheek and jaw burning from the backhand. Andrews stepped back further into the bathroom stall. 

“Let’s take him swimming, guys.” 

A coldness filled Hiro’s gut. “No!” he yelled, grunting as the second cronie hit him in the solar plexus, making him go limp as he gasped for breath. 

Using the chance the temporary limpness bought them, the two mooks dragged him into the stall and Andrews shut and locked the door behind them all. By this time, Hiro was crying from the overwhelming terror he was feeling, and that made the bullies laugh.

“Aw… is the lill’ nerd scawered?” one of his tormentors teased, just before Andrews nodded and suddenly Hiro found his arms pinned behind him and he was forced to his knees. 

“I h-hate you.” Hiro hissed up at his tormentors, tears of terror still streaming down his cheeks as he glared. 

“Like you’ll do anything about it, you wimp.” Andrews laughed as his hand fisted around Hiro’s shaggy hair. That was the only warning Hiro got before his head was completely submerged in the toilet water. 

Air bubbles escaped his lips as he fought to not scream, his weak struggles growing weaker as his head grew light and fuzzy. His lungs were screaming in pain. He was yanked up and the twelve year old took a deep gasping breath, dark brown hair black and matted to his forehead. He was sobbing. “S-stop! No!” he cried out just before he was dunked back in. 

The third and final time they did this, his tormentors flushed the toilet and held him there as he thrashed, choking and screaming into swirling water as it moved his soaking shaggy hair around. Just as the toilet was filling back up, he was yanked out, spluttering. Hiro’s tormentors dumped him onto the ground, dripping and their fading laughter echoing in his ringing ears. 

“Did you video it?” one of Andrews cronies asked eagerly and the ringleader’s affirmative sent shockwaves of horror through Hiro’s entire body. 

The twelve year old shook violently, retching and curling in on himself as water and tears streamed down his face, content to remain in his position on the bathroom floor if it prevented him from being seen by the whole school populous. 

“Post it onto your wall and see how many ‘likes’ it gets!” 

Hiro felt sick as he heard them finally leave the bathroom. His phone buzzed again, and Hiro nearly jumped out of his skin. He’d forgotten about his social project partner… 

_ Ordinary Gifted - OG- is idle --12:32 PM --  _

_ HT: Hello?  _

_ HT: Hey…  _

_ HT: Um…  _

_ Are you okay?  _

_ Well obviously, you’re not OK but…  _

_ is there something I can do?  _

_ Are you still there?  _

_ Gift (is it okay if I call you Gift), did I do something wrong? _

_ HT: If so I’m REALLY sorry!  _

_ Ordinary Gifted - OG - is now active -- 12:45 --  _

_ OG: I’M SO SORRY DON’T HATE ME _

_ I JUST GOT DISTRACTED AND  _

_ CAUGHT YP _

_ *UP  _

_ AGH… PHONE WHY NOW OF ALL TIMES? _

_ And _

_ OG: yeah, it’s okay  _

_ to call me Gift  _

_ I mean _

_ HT: YAY! haha! It’s all good. I don’t hate you. _

_ You seem really adorable! _

_ OG: ...Adorable? _

_ HT: Is that okay? If I call you adorable?  _

_ Because my first impression with you is that you’re adorable.  _

_ And I tend to type what I think.  _

_ Sorry if it offended you. _

_ OG: oh no! I’m not offended, it just… _

_ no one’s really called me that except my aunt. So… I guess… it’s okay?  _

_ HT: Well, I won’t call you that all the time. I think Gift suits you better anyways!  _

_ OG: Tomoko, if you think that, then by all means keep calling me that! _

_ HT: I think this is going to be a wonderful project. I’m glad I got partnered up with you, Gift.  _

Hiro stared at the blurry screen, biting his lip as a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time filled his chest and a different type of tear streamed down his soaked face. With a small smile, Hiro went about typing his own reply. 

_ OG: Yeah… I am too. Thanks, Tomoko. You have no idea how wonderful your words are to me. Anyways, I gotta go. Talk to you later?  _

_ HT: Sure! I can’t wait! :D  _

_ Ordinary Gifted - OG - left chat at -- 1:12 _


	8. Chapter 8

Hiro’s day - while brightened by the correspondence between himself and Tomoko - only got worse from lunch period onwards. He had rinsed out his toilet soaked hair in the sink, using liberal amounts of hand soap as a shampoo. He just knew hand soap was  _ not  _ good for his hair. He would prefer  _ not  _ having to get a buzz cut just because of some stupid hand soap causing clumps of hair to fall off. But the idea of walking around the school with hair that smelled like the underside of the bathroom would be even worse. So threatening his hair with crappy soap was basically the  _ only  _ option he had left. 

He ducked underneath the hand drier and winced as hot air blew out and seemed to scorch his neck and fingers as he combed through his shaggy locks to make sure it didn’t clump together in awkward places. Well…  _ more  _ than it did naturally. 

Eventually though, when Hiro was relatively more dry than when he’d first started, he acknowledged that his attempts to stall himself had finally run out of steam. It was time to exit the relative safety of the bathroom, despite being the scene to a lost battle, in a war Hiro felt completely out matched and outnumbered in. This scene of defeat was asfer than the halls where most people had probably seen the video by now… 

Hiro approached the door and froze, hand on the door handle as he fought an inner war with himself. 

“C’mon, you big baby…” the twelve year old whispered to himself, biting his lip. “It’s just words. People probably haven't even seen it yet.” 

A sick feeling in his stomach told him he was wrong. 

* * *

Thomas Mathews let out a startled snort as he was shaken out of his dozing state by the buzz of his phone. He leaned forwards, the front legs of his chair hitting the ground with a thump as he dug his phone from out of his pocket. 

It was from one of the little freshies he’d taken under his wing and corrupted when Tadashi wasn’t looking and contained a link to a youtube video. A follow up message soon appeared: “Headphones necessary if Papa Hamada is nearby. Took the Rookie swimming.” directly after Thomas entered his messaging app. The lazy seventeen year old raised an eyebrow at the caption then eyed a deeply engrossed Tadashi - who was cramming unnecessarily for an AP Anatomy test, weighing his options. He shrugged, and dug out his headphones. Nope. Wasn’t gonna risk it. 

Tadashi would murder him if he knew what he’d been up to on the internet. And no, he didn’t mean his browser history - though he’d probably be murdered for that too. With a snap, he was connected to his phone and the sound was safely rerouted to his headphones. His thumb hovered over the link as his eyes did a final examination on the states of his fellow classmates, landing on Tadashi in particular. No one noticed the illegal usage of phone and likely no one would care, this period being Study Hall and full of nerds. They were all too busy cramming. 

He tapped onto the link, the sound blaring in his ears too quiet for others to notice as his eyes were drawn to what his little proteges had titled it: ‘GENIUS GOES FOR A SWIM’ 

His other blond eyebrow moved to join the one already raised. Well he didn’t tutor them for their creativity… With a snort, the seventeen year old exited out of the app and went back to his message app. 

With a press of his thumb he had copied the link and with a flick of his fingers he had sent the link zinging off into the school by way of his well established contacts. 

In a moment of deliberation, Thomas entered the youtube app once more and went to the comments. 

Fingers flying across his screen, he covertly typed his message. With barely a hesitation, his thumb pressed the post button, uploading his ‘LOL what a loser’ to the internet without any thought towards how it would effect the younger Hamada. 

The kid was smart, he’d figure how to navigate highschool soon enough. The nails that stood up always got hammered down after all. You had to be  _ cool _ . 

Thomas put his phone away and leaned back in his chair, eyes observing the elder Hamada as he bent over his work and scribbled something before frowning and erasing it just frantically. 

It had been touch and go with Tadashi, if Thomas was being honest with himself. The kid’s saving grace was the natural charisma that practically all the girls gravitated towards. Didn’t help that he was the “nice guy” type (whatever  _ that  _ meant). If it weren’t for that and the fact that his science projects were something to be feared, had kept the elder from suffering the same fate as his little brother. 

How they’d been able to keep the rumors and videos away from Tadashi was still a mystery to Thomas. It was probably that stupid obsession he had for college. When he got an idea that deeply hooked into him, there was no way to distract him from the tunnel vision. Thomas knew that from previous experiences with the Science Fairs that usually swamped the guy down even more. Those days were torture for the blonde, since Tadashi was usually the dude who funded his burrito raids.

Meh. Whatever, he was tired. Thinking wore him out. Why did the Hamadas even like it so much? 

Five minutes later, Thomas was dead to the world once more, unaware of the hurt he would contribute to. Or at least, unthinking of the consequences. The universe was unsure of which was worse: willful blindness or unflattering stupidity in the face of human compassion. 

* * *

Hiro hated the whispers and laughter that followed him around now. He hated that he flinched whenever there was a loud noise like a locker slamming, terrified that his tormentors might shove him into one of them just for kicks and giggles. It had happened before. He was certain it would happen again. 

Hiro just wanted to curl up into a ball in a dark deserted corner and just sleep away  _ everything _ . His heart ached, not in a physical way, but with a pain that couldn’t be dulled by medicine. He was tired. But the day wasn’t over, and Hiro couldn’t sleep just yet. There was one more class he had to suffer through. 

With a trembling sigh, Hiro glanced up at the sign that announced to the world the boy’s locker room and hesitantly pushed open the door. Laughter and jeering rushed over his ears and he automatically flinched back, despite how he logically knew they weren’t directed at him. In his experiences with high school, laughter  _ always  _ meant some form of imminent pain and so his body was now conditioned to react as if he could really avoid it. 

Hiro let out a weary hum and quietly made his way to his locker, eyes firmly fixed on his feet. If he could just make it to his locker and get changed, he wouldn’t have as many troubles. 

He hoped. 


	9. Chapter 9

“Why is it -” Hiro let out a grunt as he grumbled to himself in the relative darkness, “-that it’s _always_ PE?!”

The twelve year old glared at the front of the locker where the light from the slanted slats filtered in. It just had to be his luck that the athlete’s lockers were big enough to fit _him_ too. Hiro let out a frustrated sigh and took in a deep breath. The boy grimaced as the faint smell of sweaty socks and metal filled his nose, leaving a bad taste in his mouth. 

With a groan, the twelve year old let his head hit the back of the metal box he was in, careful not to hit the hooks that were just above him. This was so stupid. Who got shoved into lockers? Oh wait. It was him. _He_ was the idiot who thought high school would be better for his _precious_ _intellect_. ...What a joke. 

Hiro let his head hit the wall a few more times, a scowl on his face. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Everything was so _stupid_ . Stupid smell, stupid space, stupid bullies, stupid _him!_

His pocket buzzed and Hiro flinched, torn between peeking at it or ignoring it. The taunting had escalated in the weeks of the social project, spreading from the now infamous video to infect his social page. Now, whenever his phone buzzed, he was unsure if it was Tomoko or one of his anonymous tormentors. His excitement for the project had waned, faded like an old t-shirt bleached by the sun. 

Hiro took in another breath of metal and sweaty socks and grimaced again. He’d be stuck in here a while, might as well see if it was Tomoko or not. 

***

Eve let out a sigh as she tossed her bag onto her bedroom floor, the books held within thudding loudly and making the tired senior wince at the noise. She hoped she didn’t wake up the cranky neighbor in the next apartment down with that thump… 

The eighteen year old shrugged and flopped onto her bed. She was too exhausted to care for what a cranky old man would say to her parents. It wasn’t her fault that he was a light sleeper. 

Just as Eve was going to drift off completely into her exhausted doze, a thought struck her. She hadn’t talked to Gift yet! 

The eighteen year old promptly rolled over onto her side and fell off the bed with a yelp. A searching hand reached up and felt around her dresser. Finding the object that felt most like her phone, the girl grabbed her original target and held it to her face, wincing at the brightness. 

“Okay Gift… let’s see how you’re doing today…” she muttered once the blinding light had been dimmed to a manageable level, logging herself into her account. 

Gift had just barely built up the courage to tell her a bit more about himself - within the bounds of the anonymity of course, she knew he wasn’t telling her _everything_ \- but it was awesome to see how far they’d come from the beginning! 

Where once it was an awkward one sided blast of talking on her part, was now hour long conversations! Sometimes, Eve wasn’t able to even get a word in as Gift rambled on and on about a project he wanted to do. The eighteen year old loved every minute that her mysterious partner opened up to talk about things _he_ was interested in! 

_Highcrest Tomoko - HT - joined chat at -- 2:57 PM --_

_HT: Hey Gift!_

_Just wanted to pop in and say hello, since we haven’t talked yet today!_

_HT: How are you? :D_

_OrdinaryGifted - OG - joined chat at --3:02 PM --_

_OG: Cab i just day_

_Ugh._

_*can I just **SAY_

_OG: that I HATE school right now?_

_HT: D: oh no! What’s wrong, Gift!!!!???? D: D:_

_OG: I just_

_I’m not_

_People are just_

_OG: I’m not having a good day, that’s all. :/_

_HT: Oh no… :( I’m sorry, Gift. Do you want to talk about it?_

_OG: no… not really…_

_how are YOU, Tomoko?_

Eve frowned at her phone, having rolled onto her stomach by now. Her legs idly went up and down as she thought about how cagey Gift was being today. Her eyes narrowed as she nibbled on her lower lip. 

A thought struck her and she let her fingers fly across the screen as she typed her reply. Best to answer honestly with Gift. 

_HT: I had to go home early due to a doctor’s appointment that got canceled XP but other than that I’m fine. :D_

_HT: But seriously, Gift_

_are you okay?_

There was a long pause and Eve bit down harder on her lip, nearly drawing blood. C’mon _Gift… please be okay…_ she begged in her mind.

The ping of her phone alerted her to his reply. 

_OG: Do you really want me to answer that?_

_HT: Of course! I’m your friend Gift! You can tell me anything if you’re comfortable with it!_

_If you really don’t want to say anything, I’ll just drop it! You just tell me if you’re uncomfortable! I’m just worried about you though… You don’t seem very happy today._

_OG: I’m not._

Eve felt her brow furrow as she tilted her head quizzically at her phone, despite knowing how Gift wouldn’t see it. 

_HT: ….You’re not happy?_

_Or are you not okay?_

_OG: Yes._

_No._

_I mean_

_both._

_Ugh. I don’t know okay? I’m just really pissed off and I hate the smell of sweaty socks._

Eve felt a bewildered laugh escape her lips. What did sweaty socks have to do with anything? 

_HT: Sweaty socks? What?_

_OG: They stink. Do ANY of these athletes wash their clothes during the weekend?!_

_Because if they do, their washing machines stink._

_Pun intended._

_Ugh._

_I_

_hate_

_school._

Was… Gift still in school? Hadn’t school gotten out already? Eve was confused. 

_HT: Gift, are you still in school? Like as in class?_

_OG: Yes and no. I’m not supposed to even be in here!_

_HT: What are you even doing?_

_OG: Picking a lock._

Eve choked on her spit. 

_HT: “Picking a lock”?! Gift what are you even doing!?_

_OG: Like I said_

_“picking a lock.”_

_C’mon, Tomoko this isn’t Supersymmetric Quantum Mechanics._

_HT: Why are you picking a lock!?_

_OG: Because someone decided it would be a good idea to shove me into one of the athlete’s lockers._

_And lock it._

_I mean_

_I’m small_

_but - this shouldn’t happen! On principle!_

_People can be such neanderthals sometimes._

  1. _not sometimes_



_It’s ALL the time._

_Have I mentioned that I utterly DESPISE highschool?_

Eve stared at her phone in horror. Someone had shoved Gift into a locker and _locked_ it?! But… but… her partner was such a nice person! Why would anyone do that?! 

_OG: HA! YES!_

_Foul fiend of the sweaty underworld_

_I have conquered thy prison, have at thee_

_and let me reclaim my freedom!_

_HT: You got out? That’s great!_

_Now you can tell a teacher!_

_OG: What!?_

_No! I can’t tell a teacher! That’ll only make it worse!_

_HT: Trust me Gift, they can put a stop to people bullying you!_

_OG: No, Tomoko. Trust ME_ _people like them, they WONT STOP just because a teacher told them not to! They’ll find a way to make my life a living Hell on earth! It will NEVER STOP. Not until they graduate._

_Or I do._

_Whichever comes first._

_Because believe me when I say this but_

_I could be out of here if I put my brains to it. I just_

_I want to stay with my brother. For a year at least. But…_

_that plan might just be doomed to failure because he’s graduating and I…_

_I think_

_I gotta go._

_HT: GIFT WAIT! What about your brother?_

_OG: I think he hates me OK??_

_OrdinaryGifted - OG - has left the chat at -- 3:34 PM --_

_HT: Gift…_

_Highcrest Tomoko - HT - has left the chat at -- 3:40 PM --_

Eve let out a groan and flopped onto the floor, a frown on her face. She hated this anonymity thing they were doing. She couldn’t hunt down Gift’s brother and give him a stern talking to when she didn’t even know Gift’s _name_ now could she?! 

This project wasn’t looking to be as fun as she thought it would. Not like she expected it to be butterflies and rainbows but still… 

Poor Gift… what did his brother do to him? 


	10. Chapter 10

Tadashi glanced up at the clock and bit his lip in his concentration. Just one more minute until time would be up and he couldn’t change any of his answers anymore. Was he certain that he’d gotten the right ones? The meticulous sixteen year old glanced over his answers and nodded contemplatively to himself then paused. He’d triple checked twice, so he was pretty sure that they were all good but still… maybe one more check would ease his rushing mind… 

“Time’s up! Pencils down, flip your test over!” Their science teacher called out, breaking Tadashi out of his trail of thought. 

Groans floated up around the classroom as the rustle of papers flooded the sixteen year old’s ears. Tadashi breathed out slowly through his nose, settling his rapidly beating heart as he closed his eyes for a brief moment. A sharp prick at the back of his neck caused him to reopen his brown eyes and glance back, confusion clear on his face.

Eve grimaced behind him with an apologetic air and the thin stack of tests she had used to poke him flopped towards the ground in her hand. With a soul deep sigh Tadashi turned around and grabbed the papers from her and placed his own test on top before sending the stack onwards. 

That done and over with, Tadashi flopped back in his seat and put his head in his arms, trying to block out the murmur of his fellow students talking about the test and how they did. Dread churned in his gut and the sixteen year old bit his lip. Had he gotten his answers right? He didn’t know, he hadn’t been able to check his answers one last time! 

Internally, his mind was screaming. What if he got them all wrong??? He’d studied so hard but what if it was all for nothing?! Then he wouldn’t be able to find a great college and be able to change the world of medical science! 

Tadashi knew these thoughts were irrational but it didn’t stop the anxiety from resurfacing. Just like what happened after every test ever since he figured out that his GPA affected his career later on in life. How it figured into his acceptance into a college at all. 

“Hey.” 

Tadashi looked up and glanced over at Eve who was giving him a serious look. 

“Yeah?” he tried to act all casual but by the expression on her face, he knew she wasn’t fooled. 

“You okay?” Eve asked and Tadashi gave her a weak grin. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” he sent her a thumbs up in conjunction with his words. 

She stood up with a groan, leaning back. Tadashi heard several vertebrae pop and fought back a wince. As soon as she straightened, Eve gave the sixteen year old an unconvinced look. “You’re over thinking your answers on that test. Stop it!” she flashed him a grin right after. “You’re the top of the class, you don’t need to have a panic attack.”

Tadashi choked. 

“Anyways, I found this in the counselor's office, and I thought of you. You’re into technology right?” she continued, grabbing something from her binder and sliding it onto his desk. From the sound of it, it was some sort of sleek paper. Tadashi glanced down and felt his eyebrows crease.

It was a brochure for a college. It was of a black, green and white color scheme and in the corner was the crest. Tadashi’s breath caught in his throat.  _ San Fransokyo Institute of Technology _ . 

“Unbelieveable…” he murmured, deft fingers flipping through the pages. “But it’s super exclusive, Eve, I don’t know - ”

Eve slapped a hand over his mouth. “Nope! Not gonna let you talk yourself into doubting yourself! You - ” Here she poked him in the chest. “-are a great inventor. Look, there’s a science exhibition where anyone can enter and the ones with the most impressive tech get in on scholarship!” 

Tadashi opened his mouth to speak but bit on his lip when Eve glared at him, hands on hips. 

“Tadashi, look. The whole school is in awe of your tech. Think of where you could go with your gifts if you went there!” 

“I… I’ll think about it.” Tadashi finally hedged, eyes traveling back down to the brochure. “I’ll definitely think about it.” 

Eve nodded, a grin spreading across her face. “Good! Because I’m sick and tired of seeing you implode whenever there’s a test!” 

Tadashi tossed what he knew to be an impressive puppy dog face at her. “I don’t implode!” 

“Yeah, Tadashi, you do.” Eve deadpanned. 

Tadashi pouted. 

***

The thought of entering the science exhibition wouldn’t leave his mind. It had opened the doors of his mind and had strolled right in. The Idea perfectly at home with his chaotic thoughts and had planted itself firmly in an unused corner of his brain, refusing to budge. 

It poked and prodded at him while he was driving his strangely silent little brother home. It threw stones at the field of grazing science equations and caused them all to run around in a noisy ruckus, had run through the markets of his random ordinary thoughts and had screamed at the top of it’s lungs “LET’S DO SCIENCE, YEAH!” and caused the thoughts dealing with hunger and thirst to throw up their hands and leave in a huff, heavily offended. 

But now, when push came to shove, the Idea had become perfectly mute when enquiring thoughts asked it what it wanted to do. Sometimes it would cough up a sliver but was mercilessly pounded by the thoughts of Reason and Practicality. The Idea couldn’t be unrealistic, it had to be something that would both  _ WOW  _ the judges and be able to function in it’s role. 

So the random Idea for giving Mochi rocket shoes was out. Wasn’t practical enough, though Tadashi knew Hiro - if given the chance - would pounce on the idea and claim it for his own. Reason and Practicality alongside a healthy dose of Protective Older Brother Instinct made him erase it entirely. 

The same process occurred with a shrinking ray, this time the thoughts screaming at him that it was a Bad Idea. Maybe he could try a portable healthcare robot? The thoughts paused and considered the Idea. They Shrugged. 

Tadashi wanted to pull out his hair and slam his face into his keyboard. Or tablet. Even the desk would suffice so long as it got the frustration out of his system. Why was brainstorming ideas for inventions so  _ hard????!  _ And  _ exhausting???? _

A yawn escaped his mouth but Tadashi stifled it with a scowl. No. He had to come up with something! Especially if he wanted to beat this year’s deadline! He  _ had  _ to go to this school. 

He’d researched it up and down and sideways till kingdom come and the overarching consensus was that the Sanfransokyo Institute of Technology was  _ his kind of school _ . 

Tadashi had never felt such a drive to go to something before in his life and this was from the kid who spouted out that college was a gateway to  _ everything _ . He had to go here. He had to! He had to go to-

***

“Tadashi? I need to tell you something, do you have a mom-” Hiro stopped in the doorway, eyes trained on the slumped over form of his older brother, who was - despite the glare of the monitor - deeply asleep. “...Oh.” the twelve year old finished, not even bothering with finishing the word he’d started as a dark feeling stirred in his stomach. 

Brown eyes darkened with the tint of depression took in the sketches on the screen and all of the crumpled up papers scattered on the desk. They took in the rise and fall of broad shoulders as the elder Hamada breathed softly, deeply, and how sleep softened the stressed lines on the sixteen year old’s youthful face. 

Then the youngest Hamada turned away and started searching. After a few minutes had passed, Hiro found what he was looking for and tip toed to his older brother’s side. Standing about a foot away, the youth found himself hesitating, the tan blanket clenched in his hands dangling and really touching the floor. If he put the blanket on, would he wake up? 

Did he really want his brother to wake up? After a few moments of consideration, Hiro shook his head in reply to his own question. No… he didn’t really want to wake up Tadashi. But still… he wanted… he wanted his older brother to hug him. To cuddle him like when they were both younger and when just a scraped knee would be enough to get hugs and kisses and a special hair ruffle, despite all the squirming he’d put up. 

But… the twelve year old didn’t want to be a bother… Tadashi probably hated him anyways. Why would he want to give his pathetic little brother a hug? Freaks didn’t deserve hugs. They didn’t deserve anything. Any yet… and yet… 

Hiro put the tan felt blanket over his big brother’s shoulders, smoothing it gently when it folded up on itself. Taking a deep breath, Hiro rested his forehead on Tadashi’s back. 

“Tadashi… I need you…” he whispered, tears welling up in his eyes as he spoke, “I can’t… I don’t know what to do. Or what to feel. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to not have to breathe. I just… I need… I need help. I know I do but I can’t ask for it. I don’t know why but something stops me everytime I try. I can’t…” his voice cracked as the tears fell down his cheeks. “I’m not strong like you, Tadashi. I’m not strong at all and I don’t know why you and Aunt Cass can’t hear it when I’m just  _ screaming inside.  _ I’m screaming and I don’t know how to stop it. Everything hurts and my heart hurts the most. I need you Tadashi. I’m so alone.” 

Hiro slowly moved away, hands over his mouth as the tears streamed down and his shoulders shook. “I’m so alone and no one notices.” he sobbed in a whisper. “I can’t… I can’t… I miss you Tadashi. I… I miss you  _ so much _ even though you’re here right infront of me.” 

Tadashi didn’t move, his shoulders rising and falling with each gentle breath and Hiro sunk to the floor. Tadashi hadn’t woken up. Hadn’t heard anything.

Hiro was still so alone in a crowd. And it hurt. His heart hurt. The tears wouldn’t stop falling. 

Tadashi slept on. 


	11. Chapter 11

_Two months...._

Eve hummed to herself as she slipped into the warmth of the apartment. "I'm home!" She called into the homey symphony that was coming from the kitchen. 

"Welcome home, sweetheart!" Her mother called, the sounds of pots and pans clanging pausing momentarily before starting up again. The eighteen year old smiled and headed over to her room to put away her bags. 

"Eve, darling can you come here for a minute?" 

Eve paused in her tracks, her eyes widening. Dad was home? Why was he home so early? Has something happened on the base? 

"Sure Dad! What's up?" She called, putting her bags down in the hallway and heading towards the dining area that was in conjunction with the tiny kitchen. 

The sounds of her mother puttering away near the sink had faded away into an almost eerie silence. Eve quickened her pace to round the hall corner. 

Her father was leaning against the counter, salt and pepper hair wearing thin near the top of his head, icy blue eyes looking worn and serious as they gazed at the painting of the San Fransokyo Golden Gate Bridge that hung on the wall. 

"Soo..." Eve awkwardly shrugged and put her hands into her jacket pockets. "What's goin' on, Dad?"

The elder Morris turned to his only child. "Honey... This might come to a shock to you. How about you sit down." 

Eve shrugged, leaning against the wall. "I can handle it."

Her father didn't look convinced but began with a grave sigh, "I've been deployed, Evelynn. We're moving." 

Eve sat down on the tile floor with a thump. 

*** 

Hiro stared down at his phone, his breath catching in his throat. The letters on the screen didn't change. They remained starkly black against a white background, bold in their simple coding and defiant to his desperate wishes. 

Two words, two very simple words, were causing his entire world to crash down around his ears. 

Shaking fingers typed out the only question on repeat in his suddenly blank mind. 

_ OG: you're what _

There is a long pause and in that pause his breath starts to come in shorter increments and his heart starts pounding in his throat. His eyes are prickling painfully at the corners. 

_ HT: I'm so sorry Gift.  _

_ I know that this is hard to hear but I am moving. I can't stop it. We'll be heading to Okinawa in a month. My dad was deployed there and it's easier on everyone if we all go with him. Apparently a house has already been picked out and everything. _

_ OG: but _

_ I won't be able to meet  _

_ you!  _

_ This isn't fair Tomoko! You're  _

_ The only friend I have!  _

_ HT: I know Gift. Believe me I know. I'm so sorry that we're not gonna be able to finish the project together. But we can still be friends, even if I'm far across the ocean!  _

Hiro gritted his teeth and closed his eyes tightly as he shook his head. This couldn't be happening! 

_ OG: It won't be the same!  _

_ You'll just forget about me _

_ like everyone else!  _

_ OrdinaryGifted - OG - has left the chat at -- 5:53 PM --  _

Hiro closed all of his apps and threw his phone across his part of the room with an angry sob, his head buzzing. The silence in the room was deafening as Hiro crumpled into himself. 

Tadashi was gone off to some stupid college tour thing at some stupid school and wouldn't be home until long after dinner, Aunt Cass was as busy as ever with the cafe, and Tomoko was leaving in a month. Hiro felt completely alone, like the world was crumbling away under his feet and he was falling into a deep abyss. 

Laying on his side, severe waves of shivering shook his lithe body. Tremors of terrible emotion shook his little frame and caused his breath to come out in short panicky gasps. His skin was slowly becoming clammy and cold with sweat, causing his hair to plaster itself to his head as he fought to keep his distress silent. Even though no one was around to even pay attention to the little noises he did make. 

His fingers dug into his skin, sharp uncut nails cutting jagged half moon imprints into his clammy flesh. A whimper escaped his lips and he dug even more savagely down, hoping the feeling of pain would stop the noise. Hiro raked his hands up and down his arms again and again as the shivering continued on, biting his lip when a whimper wanted to escape his mouth. He wouldn’t cry! He wouldn’t! 

Slowly, ever so slowly, his breath deepened and his head grew less fuzzy. Shaking slightly still, Hiro glanced down at his arms and felt his eyes widen at the sight of a thin trail of blood trickling down his red arms. 

Oh. ...he’d done  _ that _ ? Why did he feel so calm now? Was it because of the blood and scratching? 

Hiro shook his head to clear it and slowly sat up. Did cutting create the same effect? Was it a safe thing to do? At least if he cut, the wounds would heal cleaner right? He’d have to do research on this. Because if this was a way to get him to calm down, it was worth looking into, right? Right. But first, he needed to clean up his hands and make sure the blood wasn’t obvious. 

Standing on slightly wobbly legs, Hiro made his way over to the bathroom down the hall and washed his hands in the sink, watching in fascination as the red turned slightly pink and was swept into the drain by the rushing water out of the faucet. That done, he turned to the cupboard and took out the first aid kit. He looked at the roll of gauze and deemed it acceptable to wrap up his arm up. It was probably overkill but Hiro thinks it kinda looks a little cool, gently wrapped around his arm like that and taped together. Now more than ever he’s glad that it’s cold enough to wear one of his hoodies without it looking really weird. 

Hiro makes his way back into his side of the room and sinks down on the swiveling chair. Time to research this. The boy cracks his knuckles and set his still slightly damp fingers onto the keyboard. 


	12. Chapter 12

_ Twenty Four Hours... _

It was the second to last day of the semester and finals were upon the students imprisoned within the highschool. It was a day of both dread and celebration. You would have to push yourself harder, push yourself to go faster, to think  _ harder _ , than any other time within class. But Hiro wasn't in the right mind to care for any of this, his body was on autopilot as a dull fog clouded his perception of the world. 

Everything just seemed so  _ distant _ . It was like he was a ghost that everyone could see and touch, but was still disconnected and far way from everything in reality. Nothing seemed real anymore. Hiro was just… there. Existing and going through the motions, like a mindless  _ robot _ . He didn't even know if he was breathing anymore. 

The only thing that really made the twelve year old feel like he was alive and grounded was the pocket knife he carried around in his hoodie pocket everywhere now.

Dimly, Hiro knew that this was something that he should stop, that it was stupid and self destructive. But now that he'd started, the twelve year old couldn't even dream of stopping. Not when it could calm him down and reassure him that he was still alive. 

The day was passing by in a dull blur, the same way it had ever since he'd found out that Tomoko was moving. He'd tried  _ so hard  _ to pierce through the fog and reach out to her, to get some time in so they could actually meet before she left, but… she had too much stuff to do. Things to pack, immunizations to get, a passport to update. There wasn't enough time to squeeze in some looser who shed only talked to due to a school project. 

Tomoko probably thought that he was a creeper anyways. 

Hiro let out a depressed sign and rested his cheek on his hand, pencil idly tapping the desk as he waited for Mr. Hanndlest to pass out the test that would determine if he'd pass or fail his science class. Hiro didn't care. He just wanted it to be over. He was tired. Tired of everything. Maybe it'd be better if... 

The awaited paper was slapped down on Hiro's desk, snapping him out of his train of thought. The twelve year old glanced up at his science teacher before looking down again, missing the look of shock and concern that flashed through the elderly man's face. 

The strict man was concerned because when Hiro had looked up, his usually vibrant brown eyes had looked dull and hopeless. They had lost that sparkle that everyone had attributed to his genius and curious mind. Those brown eyes had looked dead. 

***

Tadashi let out a sigh as he finished bubbling in his last answer into his answer sheet. He felt a strange sense of peace and not at all shredded like he had been for the many tests he'd gone through throughout the semester. 

The sixteen year old let loose a content hum and settled back into his chair, placing his pencil down by the side of the paper. 

Eve giggled at somethjng from behind him and Tadashi felt a soft grin spread across his lips. Then they smile faded as he recalled that outside of hometown tomorrow, it would be the last day that he'd ever see his friend.  _ That _ certainly brought his good mood down a bit. 

Time passed and suddenly the call for pencils to be at rest and the tests to be flipped over and passed up to the front was made. Tadashi felt his heart rate speed up then slowly return to normal as he turned to Eve who was quickly gathering the stack of papers into one neat pile. This was it. The end of their journey together as classmates. That thought made something inside his heart pang hollowly. 

It was at this moment that Tadashi realized that he didn't want his friend to leave; despite the fact that after graduation, they would have been parting ways anyways. 

Almost numbly, Tadashi took the offered papers and slipped his test on top before passing everything in a nest pile forwards. Quiet murmurs of others beginning soft conversations spurred Tadashi to twist around in his seat again. 

"So… you excited to be heading over to Japan?" He asked softly. 

Eve looked up and her lips protruded in thought. "Well… Yes and and no." She admitted. 

Tadashi felt one of his eyebrows rise. "That conflicted huh?" 

Eve let out a depressed sigh. "Everything's happening so fast. I can't even meet up with my social project partner, I don't have the time for a measly five minute meet and greet!" She put her head into her hands. "I feel like I've let him down." 

"Why's that?" Tadashi asked. 

"I don't think he has a good home life." She confessed then paused, reconsidering. "Or at least.... Not a supportive one. I don't think he's getting abused - I'd have reported it if I thought he was - I just think he doesn't have a good support system. He's a brilliant kid and he  _ needs _ someone to support him. And I'll be leaving him for another country entirely. I can't be there for him like he  _ needs _ ." 

Tadashi nodded in understanding. "That's a tough deal, Eve."

"Uuugh! No kidding..." Eve groaned, letting her head hang in weary agreement. 

"You're still going to keep in contact though, right?" Tadashi asked after a moment of consideration. 

Eve's drooping head shot up so fast it was like she'd been burned on the forehead. "Of course I am! It's just… Gift's been trying to meet me before I leave and I've been too busy to let him!" 

Tadashi raised his eyebrow again. "You  _ sure  _ he's not some creep?" He asked, protectiveness that usually only surfaced around his little brother rising into view. 

Eve let out a derisive snort. "Tadashi! Gift's not like that! I think he's a sweetheart! Plus, I know he's a younger year - probably a freshman or a sophomore." 

"They're sometimes worse. Especially if they're guys." Tadashi warned, "We can be really immature and I don't want you getting hurt."

Eve smacked him on the shoulder, hard. "Oh stop it you! I can handle myself perfectly fine!"

The eldest Hamada raised his hands in surrender, eyes shining in amusement. "Okay! Okay! I'm just saying, be careful - woah!" He dodged another swat with a laugh, nearly falling out of his seat. 

Eve snorted in amusement as he scrambled to keep himself upright, his long lanky legs hooking themselves under his chair as he tipped backwards, hands barely managing to hold onto the edge of his desk and stopping his descent towards the floor. Tadashi pulled himself upright and adjusted his slightly rumpled shirt.

"Well… That was ingesting." he said. 

Eve burst into a round of rather loud giggles just as the bell rang. 

Tadashi rolled his eyes and reached down to grab his book bag. "Well..." He sighed, standing up. "I guess this is goodbye until tomorrow."

The eighteen year old smiled at him and got up as well, still fighting down giggles. "See you later, Tadashi." 

And then the two parted ways. Tadashi to the right towards the front and Eve to the left. The sixteen year old supposed that she was going to talk to a teacher about something or another. Shaking his head, Tadashi focused on scanning the crowd for his little brother's small figure. 

Suddenly a noise reached the eldest Hamada's ear and a rumble in his stomach made him cringe in embarrassment. Well... It  _ was _ twelve o'clock, due to finals making the school day a half day. If Tadashi was hungry, he was plenty sure that Hiro would be  _ starving _ . 

A brilliant idea sparked to life in Tadashi's bright mind. 

***

Hiro shifted restlessly as Tadashi turned left from the school parking lot instead of turning right. 

“Tadashi where are we going, home’s in the other direction!” the boy reached over and smacked his brother, confusion plain in his voice. 

The elder Hamada grinned, guiding the car around a slowly moving car. “Already talked to Aunt Cass, I’m treating  _ you... _ ” He reached one hand over and poked Hiro, managing to hit him in the forehead. “Out tonight.” 

The car jerked slightly as it stopped just before they could run a red light. 

Hiro stared cross eyed at the area Tadashi had poked before looking back at his brother, unimpressed. “... _ where _ are you taking me exactly?” he asked. 

Tadashi ignored the question and eyed the still red light with clear impatience. Hiro didn’t know what was going on, his life was in so much chaos that even this deviation from normal was leaving his head spinning! 

Tomoko would be leaving soon… Two days she’d said. In two days, he would  _ never  _ get to see his friend face to face, and thank her. 

“Hey… You okay?” 

Hiro jumped, eyes wide as he remembered that Tadashi was in the car with him. He looked away to the passing scenery of San Fransokyo. “Yeah… I’m fine.” 

“No you’re not, bonehead.”

Hiro flinched and opened his mouth to rebute what Tadashi had said but changed what he was going to say when the light changed. "Look Tadashi! The light's green!" He pointed. 

Tadashi rolled his eyes and guided the car move forwards. "Not letting this go, knucklehead. What's been bothering you?" 

Hiro shook his head and looked away from Tadashi's piercing gaze. "Ah... Nothing! Nothing's wrong! Aha... Why would you say that, big brother?" He squeaked nervously. 

Tadashi was unconvinced. "Uh huh. Sure bonehead. Hey meant to ask earlier but how's your project doing?"

Oh no. Hiro was  _ not  _ having this conversation with Tadashi. 

"...it's going fine. I guess." Then Hiro noticed where Tadashi was pulling in. "No way. Tadashi you don't have the money for this level of pricy food!" 

Tadashi grinned. "Yeah, I do. Been saving up for an occasion like this." 

"Shut up!" Hiro gaped at the restaurant before turning to Tadashi, an accusing glare lighting up his dulled eyes. "You're trying to bribe me to do something aren't you!" 

Hiro's older brother laughed, ruffling Hiro's already messy hair and making the boy squawk. "Is it really that hard to believe that I wanna treat my little brother to something nice with no ulterior motive?" he asked. 

Hiro let out a huff and pushed Tadashi's larger hand away from his head. "Yes." He deadpanned. 

Tadashi fell back with a wounded expression on his face and causing Hiro to let loose laughter so genuine it left the twelve year old with an ache in his chest and mouth from smiling so wide. 

"We really are eating at Bakurai's All You Can Eat Buffet?!" He finally asked after his laughing fit had subsided, looking at the mentioned restaurant with awe in his face. Tadashi grinned and ruffled his hair again. 

“Yup! C’mon bonehead, I’m pretty sure you’re starving.” the elder Hamada laughed, stepping out of the car. 

Hiro scrambled to follow, mood slowly lightening. “Yeah! How’d you know?” 

Tadashi leaned on the car, waiting for his little brother to slip out. “If  _ I’m  _ hungry, I knew that  _ you’d  _ be starving.” He laughed as Hiro’s stomach gave a loud grumble of agreement, making the twelve year old flush beat red and clutch at the offending appendage. “C’mon, let’s head in.” 

“Okay!” Hiro exclaimed, jumping up and down slightly. The twelve year old genius was practically vibrating in excitement. An idea caused him to grin mischievously and for some reason Tadashi’s breath caught in his throat and his heart ached to see such a grin on his little brother’s face. Brown eyes glinted in a mysterious light. 

“Race you, Tadashi!” Hiro suddenly yelled, running towards the entrance. Tadashi felt a grin spread across his face and soon the only sound was their sneakers hitting the pavement and shrieks laughter as Tadashi quickly caught up and scooped Hiro into his arms. 

“Tadashi! Th-that’s cheating!” Hiro squirmed, a laugh filling his chest and making his sides hurt. 

“Don’t make me drop you bonehead! This way, we tie!” Tadashi laughed, using his back to push open the door and then deposited his little brother back onto his feet, all rumpled and red cheeked from laughing until he was breathless. 

“But that’s not the point of racing!” Hiro pouted, trailing behind Tadashi as the older Hamada paid for the both of them to go and pig out. 

Tadashi rolled his eyes and reached behind to ruffle his hair, to which Hiro dodged with a scowl that threatened to turn into a grin. The girl behind the cash register giggled and turned to address the tall sixteen year old. 

“You and your son are adorable.” she giggled. Hiro froze and gave her an incredulous look while Tadashi bit his lip trying not to laugh.

“Actually he’s my brother.” Tadashi chuckled. “We’re just out celebrating the end of the first day of finals being over.” 

The girl blushed, looking rather embarrassed on having made such an erroneous assumption. “Sorry… that’ll be $25.57.” 

While Tadashi was busy getting out the required amount, Hiro made a face at the girl while hiding behind his older brother. The girl quickly retaliated and stuck out her tongue like a snake then promptly stuck it back in when the sixteen year old returned his attention back to her, dollars in hand. The youngest Hamada snickered at his older brother’s obliviousness. 

“What are you laughing at, bonehead?” Tadashi glanced down at his little brother, expression amused. 

Hiro quickly tried to morph his face back into one of neutrality but couldn’t keep in the giggles that threatened to explode from his lips. “N-Nothin’!” he giggled through his hands. 

Tadashi rolled his eyes and quickly pulled him in for a quick noogie. “When it’s  _ you  _ giggling, ‘nothin’ is never nothing.” 

Hiro squirmed. “Ta _ dashi _ ! Lemme go! Stop that!” 

With a laugh and a final ruffle to Hiro’s already fluffy head, Tadashi relinquished his grasp on Hiro. The twelve year old scowled and attempted to bring some semblance of order back to his hair. 

“Not funny, Ni-san.” Hiro huffed. 

Tadashi just grinned wider before nodding at all the food laid out for the customer’s consumption. “Let’s go eat, bonehead.” he suggested. 

But Hiro was already wandering the foodstuff, plate in hand. Tadashi let out a rueful laugh and made to follow, just in time to hear a joyous exclamation of, “GUMMY BEARS!” 

The sixteen year old surged forwards and grabbed the hood of Hiro’s blue hoodie, cutting him off from dive bombing directly into the desserts area. Tugging gently, Tadashi gave the turned around Hiro a stern but amused look. “Let’s eat real food first.  _ Then  _ you can make yourself sick on dessert.” 

Hiro rolled his eyes. “ _ Tadashiiii! _ ” he whined. “It’s not like I’m only going to eat dessert! I’ll have real food too! It’ll just be backwards!” 

Tadashi remained firm, knowing if he bent just a little, Hiro really  _ would  _ only eat dessert. 

Frantically, Hiro dug out the big guns. “Pleaaaase?” he begged, lower lip protruding a bit as he made his wide brown eyes water a bit as if he really was going to start crying. Alas, it was a critical failure as the only reaction Tadashi gave his brother was a raised eyebrow and a gentle push towards the italian part of the buffet where several slices of pizza were cooling on racks and waiting for hungry mouths to tear them apart. Hiro gave in with good grace, mouth already watering at the sight of the different pizza flavors. 

Tadashi watched him debate inwardly on which piece of pizza to go with for a few minutes before he turned towards the soups and salads area, mind trying to figure out which combination of soup would taste better with what type of salad. Eventually though, his eyes landed on a nearly hidden pot of soup. It’s name tag revealed that it was actually chicken udon and Tadashi’s wide eyes gleamed.  _ Jackpot. _

Nearly giggling in his glee at finding his second favorite dish (the first always going to takoyaki), Tadashi served himself a rather nice helping of the dish. 

Hiro took one glance at Tadashi’s plate and rolled his eyes, cheeks already puffed up from pizza and plate piled high with the greasy food and Tadashi wonders why he even pointed his brother in that direction anyways. 

Hands full of soup and chopsticks, Tadashi motions towards the tables. “Let’s sit down before we make a mess.” 

Hiro mutters something through half chewed pizza but follows Tadashi’s lead anyways as the two brothers sit down at a small table with only enough room for two. If Aunt Cass had accompanied them, they would have gotten a booth but since it was just the two, a table would suffice. 

The silence between the brothers was the type of silence one receives when both sides are well fed; when stomachs are growing full and eyelids wish to close due to the warmth and contentment of eating a good meal surrounded by trusted family. Bowl empty, Tadashi relaxed back in his chair with a content sigh and with half lidded eyes observed how Hiro’s plate was empty and the boy himself was vibrating in his seat.

“Okay Hiro, you’ve eaten enough ‘real food’ you can go gorge yourself full of gummy bears if your stomach has enough room for it.” Tadashi allowed, and the other boy was off and out of his seat like a rocket. Tadashi let out a huff and got up with a groan, intending to look for a small piece of cake to treat himself with.

Both Hamada brothers left when it was dark, their stomachs full to bursting and both feeling like they needed to be rolled  _ out  _ instead of them just walking. Hiro paused at car and glanced over at his brother. 

“Hey Tadashi?” he called softly. 

Tadashi let out a hum, glancing over at the car roof to Hiro. 

Hiro shifted awkwardly, hands jammed into his blue hoodie. “I just… thanks. For tonight I mean. It means a lot.” 

Tadashi smiled. “I’m glad you’ve enjoyed yourself.” he said softly back and slid into the driver seat. 

“Hey Tadashi?”

“Yeah?” Tadashi turned on the car as Hiro slipped inside the passenger door and clicked on his seatbelt. 

“Do you… do you wanna go see  _ A Brilliant Life  _ with me tomorrow after finals are all over?” Hiro asked quietly, unsure if Tadashi would be willing to watch something so  _ boring _ as a movie about his favorite scientist’s struggles in the field of quantum physics. 

Tadashi’s smile brightened and he reached over to ruffle Hiro’s hair. “Sure thing, Otouto.” he said warmly. 

Hiro’s smile was like a thousand suns going supernova all at once and the corners of his eyes crinkled. The twelve year old looked out at the lights of San Fransokyo and felt like there was nothing that could ruin his life. He felt like he was  _ flying _ , finally free to be happy once more. For once, the boy was sure, that everything would go right in his life. 

Hiro was finally content.


	13. Chapter 13

Hiro was exhausted. Every bone of his body ached and he just wanted to sleep off this pain until it was time to go to see  _ A Brilliant Life.  _

“Hey bonehead.” Tadashi’s welcome voice reached Hiro’s tired ears like a choir of angels, and a warm heavy hand ruffled his hair. 

“Mrph.” Hiro managed through a yawn and opened watering eyes. “Hey Tadashi.” 

“Hey yourself. You okay?” Hiro blinked, seeing that Tadashi had bent down to observe his person carefully. 

Hiro grinned. “M’ okay, Tadashi. Just tired.” he assured his brother. Hiro let out another yawn and leaned into Tadashi’s hand as the elder Hamada felt for a fever. “Your hand’s  _ warm _ .”

Tadashi let out a hum and drew back, chuckling at Hiro’s whine. “Well you don’t look or feel sick. I need to give my friend a lift to his house, but I’ll drop you off at home first.” 

Hiro opened a tired eye and gave his older brother a  _ Look _ . 

“Tadashiiii you better be home before three, we’ll be going to the theater at four.” Hiro reminded his brother, a whine in his voice as he tried to dangle from Tadashi’s arm. 

Tadashi laughed, reaching over and dragging the boy from his side to his front and dug his knuckles into the wild mass of hair, earning a tired squawk and a squirming Hiro for his efforts. Small inventor’s hands batted at Tadashi’s arm. 

“Stop it - lemme  _ go _ !  _ TADASHIII! _ ” Hiro squealed as Tadashi tickled him in the ribs, shaking legs exhausted from running a 5k buckling under his attempts to flee. The sixteen year old pulled his squirming brother close, supporting him as Hiro collapsed against him, scowling. 

“Don’t worry, bonehead. I’m not gonna skip out on you.” Tadashi assured his little brother. 

Hiro huffed. “Well you better not or else-”

“Tadashi! Sorry I’m late!” an unfamiliar voice reached Hiro’s ears and cut him off. The twelve year scrambled out of Tadashi’s arms and hid behind him before peering out around to see who the  intruder friend was. Hiro was very suddenly and sharply put on guard. He’d heard that voice before, somewhere… 

It was a tall blond tenager, all gangly limbs and a lean narrow face marred slightly with old acne scars. 

“Thomas! Meet my little brother, Hiro.” Tadashi called, pulling Hiro out from his half hidden position. 

Hiro squirmed, quickly becoming uncomfortable in his own skin and his fingers itched to at least  _ hold _ his pocketknife as Thomas’ sharp cold gaze penetrated him to his core. Those cold blue eyes made Hiro sick to his stomach, like he’d been violated in some metaphysical way.

Almost subconsciously, the boy pressed back into Tadashi’s legs and side, warily watching the stranger. Hiro didn’t like this Thomas. His gut was yelling for him to not trust the guy. Everything in his little being was  _ screaming  _ to  _ get away  _ but Tadashi’s warm hand on his shoulder stopped him from running all the way to the harbor. 

Hiro tossed his older brother a glance to see if Tadashi had noticed how tense he’d gotten, how obviously uncomfortable he was in this stranger’s presence - but no, Tadashi had only been reacting to Hiro’s moving closer. The eldest Hamada still remained completely oblivious to the fact that Hiro was practically  _ buried  _ into Tadashi’s side. 

The small twelve year old chanced another glance at the other teenager and flinched back at the sickeningly sweet smile Thomas was giving him. But those blue eyes remained chillingly cold and held a glimmer of something…  _ else,  _ something dangerous. It was that glimmer of something that sent ice shuddering down his spine. 

“Nice to meet you, Hiro. I’ve heard a lot of things about you in homeroom.” Thomas said, bending down to his level as he spoke. The blue eyes burned holes into Hiro’s skull. 

Breath catching in his throat, Hiro ducked into Tadashi’s side and mumbled a hello, fingers digging into his brother’s jacket. He was shivering, tremors sliding through his fingers and making his teeth chatter. 

“Hiro? You okay?” Tadashi glanced down, confusion evident in his voice. Hiro just burrowed deeper until he was practically tucked into Tadashi’s armpit. 

“M’ cold, Tadashi. Take me home,  _ please _ ?” Hiro whined, completely omitting the fact that looks Thomas was sending him were making him feel  _ really  _ uncomfortable. 

Tadashi laughed and ruffled Hiro’s fluffy hair, making the boy grumble quietly. “Sure thing bonehead. C’mon Thomas, we’re going!” 

As the three of them headed out of the parking lot, Hiro made it a point to remain firmly attached to Tadashi’s side, and always on the side where Thomas  _ wasn’t _ . They got to the car and that’s when things started to shift for the boy. 

“Hey bonehead, would you mind if Thomas sat in the passenger seat today?” 

Hiro stared up at his older brother, wide eyed. He never sat in the back. Well Tadashi never gave rides to friend either but today was apparently full of exceptions. Hiro glanced at Thomas and felt his skin crawl at the thought of the blond teenager staring at the back of his head. He’d prefer to be able to have the guy within his sights at all times anyways. 

“Okay.” he reluctantly allowed, grabbing at the handle to the back seat. Waiting almost anxiously for Tadashi to unlock it, he bounced agitatedly on his heels and winced when the corners of his books dug into his back due to the motion. The moment the lock receded, Hiro launched himself into the back and curled up into a ball, backpack thudding to the floor. 

“Buckle yourself in, kiddo!” Tadashi scolded with a laugh. Hiro uncurled a tiny bit, just enough to get the seatbelt across his chest and waist and when the click of the key piece was heard and felt through his fingers, sprung back into the ball he’d turned into. 

Brown eyes glared up untrustingly at the teenager in  _ Hiro’s  _ seat from behind a curtain of shaggy brown hair. Hiro kept his chin tucked into the crevice between his knees and let himself rock with the gentle movements of the car, closing his eyes.  _...just for a little while… _ he told himself. 

The next thing he knew, Hiro was being shaken awake by a warm familiar hand. “Hey bud.” Tadashi’s warm voice washed through Hiro’s lethargic brain. “We’re at home.”

“Mrrrph?” the boy yawned, rubbing at his sleep encrusted eyes. 

“I’ve gotta take Thomas home, okay? C’mon kiddo, you can wake up a bit faster than this, I know you can.” Tadashi teased. Hiro let out a tired hum, delicate hands more suited for inventing than anything else reached down to grab sloppily at his backpack, nearly dropping it to the floor when he tried picking it up with a weak tired grip. Tadashi’s amused huff made Hiro’s face contort into a pout as his older brother grabbed the book burdened backpack and slipped it onto Hiro’s back as the boy leaned into Tadashi’s warm side. 

“You’ll be back in time, right?” Hiro whispered, fingers catching onto the folds of Tadashi’s green jacket. Warm gentle fingers reached and carded themselves soothingly into his thick hair. 

“Of course I will, bonehead. I promised, didn’t I?” 

Hiro closed his eyes, took in a deep shuddering breath to ground himself and pulled away. “Okay.” he said, “Okay. Drive safely.”

Tadashi’s face softened. “Of course, bonehead.” He affectionately poked Hiro in the head and laughed when the boy went cross eyed. 

***

Tadashi shut his door and slumped back into his seat with a sigh. Thomas looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“Your brother seems really clingy.” he remarked. 

Tadashi groaned and leaned forwards slightly, rubbing his face. “Yeah…” he muttered. “I think that was just his exhaustion talking. He gets like that when he’s stressed or tired.” 

Thomas nodded, understanding lighting his blue eyes. “Gotcha.” he drawled. Soon after conversation died out between the two and Tadashi put the car into drive and pulled out of the Lucky Cat Cafe’s parking lot. 

Thomas leaned forward sharply. “Turn here!” 

Tadashi turned on the blinker and obediently turned left as directed. More turns followed accompanied by a chatter of directions. One more memorable one had Tadashi cracking up at the wheel. It started out ordinarily enough. 

“Keep going straight and turn right when you reach the red house - no not that house, the brick red one… ...thats actually made out of bricks. Who knew!”

The sixteen year old snorted. 

“Turn here! My house is the blue one in the middle of the cul de sac.” Thomas pointed. Tadashi pulled around the corner and felt his eyes widen. There were cars parked everywhere in the street. People entered and exited out of the blue house, red cups in hand. Faintly, Tadashi could hear the drum of a base pumping away at some unfamiliar beat. 

“Thomas. Do you always throw a party when finals are over?” 

Thomas grinned, leaning back in his seat. “Yeah man! Gotta celebrate that the torture’s over! C’mon, my parents got this awesome pool all set up in the back, the party’s been on since ten cause some neighbors invited some dudes and ladies from USF, do you wanna check it out?” 

Tadashi frowned. “Thomas I need to be heading back h-” 

“Yeah, yeah, deadline’s three I get it, man it’s cool! C’mon it’s one oclock, you’ve got two hours until you need to head home. Stay a little longer, live life! Don’t be such a homebody, Hamada!” 

“But I might need to help my aunt out in the cafe -”

Thomas put his hand on Tadashi’s shoulder and looked at him with solemn blue eyes. “Dude. You help your aunt out  _ everyday _ . Treat yourself man! Be a little selfish! Socialize!” 

Tadashi stared at Thomas’ hand and swallowed dryly. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes to center himself. 

“Okay.  _ Fine _ . I’ll attend your stupid party, you manipulative maven.” It would only be for an hour, he was sure he’d be home in time to see  _ A Brilliant Life  _ with Hiro. What could go wrong? 

It wasn’t like he was looking for any trouble, anyways. 

***

Hiro sat up with a start. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep! What time was it?! Had Tadashi gotten home or had he only been asleep for five minutes? Frantic brown eyes scanned the room for his clock and froze at the flashing numbers. 3:15 PM. Where was Tadashi? Shouldn’t he be back by now? 

Dread filled his stomach and he jumped off the bed, socked feet sliding slightly on the wood. Using that momentum, Hiro dashed out of his room and the thud of his feet pounding the stairs was a staccato beat parallel to the drumming of his heart. 

“Aunt Cass! Has Tadashi come home yet?” Hiro called, sliding to a halt near the entryway of the kitchen. 

The auburn hair of his aunt popped starkly against the white of the light green wall. “No? What time is it?”

“It’s three! Tadashi should be back soon, right?” Hiro gave an anxious little tap of his socked foot. “Has he called you to let you know that he’s gonna be late?” 

He deflated as Aunt Cass shook her head. “No… How about you go put an apron on and help out, you can keep an eye out for his car.” 

“Sure… I guess…” Hiro sighed and turned around. “I don’t really have anything else to do…” 

“Hiro.”

Hiro turned around slightly. “Yeah?”

Aunt Cass gave him a small trembling smile. “He’ll be here soon, I’m sure of it.”

“Yeah… I hope.”

And then his socked feet where hitting the stairs with a slow thumping beat completely out of synch with the pounding of his own heart. 

***

Hiro kept glancing outside the cafe windows, breath catching at his throat at the sound of a car passing by. His tense muscles would always clench then suddenly release at the realization that no, it  _ wasn’t  _ Tadashi’s car. Tense fingers would clench at whatever plate he held and then slowly release but every time left an ache that just kept building and building until his whole arm was sending shards of pain every time he held another plate, handed out another glass. 

“Hiro. Your aunt wasn’t to see you.” one of the waiters - his name escaped Hiro at the moment - tapped him on the shoulder. Hiro nodded and changed directions, having no other tables needing his attention to be cleaned at the moment. 

“You needed to see me Aunt Cass?” Hiro leaned against the counter, his eyes drawing to the clock above the mantle and freezing.

4:36 PM. Tadashi hadn’t come home. He’d promised. He’d  _ promised. He’d PROMISED!  _ Her look of sorrow said it all, and with a choked off oath, Hiro turned away, scrubbing at his burning eyes. This wasn’t FAIR! He was supposed to be here! They were supposed to - supposed to-! Ugh! 

“Hiro, you can be done if you want.” Aunt Cass softly suggested. Hiro nodded, his bangs covering his eyes. 

He went up stairs to a darkened room. With a defeated sigh Hiro sank down in his chair, not even bothering to turn on his light. 

“I guess I could build a robot.” Hiro mused quietly. He spun around his chair a few times and winced as his foot hit the desk on one of the rounds. He eyed the computer resting on the desk. Hmmm… 

Eh, one peak on his social page wouldn’t hurt… right? Right. Hiro took a deep breath and with shaking fingers typed in his password and username. He hadn’t been on here since the video went viral. Why was he even doing this? 

The page loaded and Hiro flinched back eyes widening. So many words, so many comments. So many blocked out names and pictures. 

_ wow he’s so pathetic _

_ haha not so smart now r u _

_ who’s stupid enough to get their head flushed in the toilet?!  _

_ lol wut a looooozer  _

_ can’t believe his parents named him HERO _

_ how lame is that?!  _

_ they even spelled it wrong!  _

_ looser _

_ wut kind of brother would want a pathetic loser like u _

_ lozer _

_ waste of space _

_ why does he even go here _

_ it’d be better if u were gone _

_ go die in a hole _

_ no 1 likes u _

_ zero _

_ die _

_ why don’t you just leave _

_ nerd _

_ what a waste _

_ you had so much potential  _

_ zero no hero _

_ stupid _

_ flushie head _

_ die already _

_ die die die die die! _

_ You don't seem to get it, nerd boy, so lemme spell it out for you: you don't belong here. No one would care if you just died. _

_ Tadashi wouldn’t even care if you just dropped DEAD. _

Hiro took a deep breath, fighting to keep himself from hyperventilating. He turned around and paced the room before taking another breath and spinning on his heel to face the computer. He sat down on the chair and reached up to turn on the web cam. 

He began in a shaky voice, "I'm the real Hiro Hamada. And I don't know why everyone heard my name and decided to hate me for who I am. My parents selected the Japanese characters meaning generous or tolerant when they decided to focus on my Japanese heritage." His voice cracked, "But I think I've used up all the tolerance that my parents wanted me to have. Because now... Now I hate myself too. And I've thought... Wouldn't it be nice... To see them again? After nine years of knowing that I never really knew them. Because they've been dead. And... Maybe... I should be there, wherever they are too. I don't know... if heaven or hell exists. I just... I want to go  _ home _ . So... I guess this is goodbye?" A tear fell from his eye and Hiro shut off the camera, uploading it to his profile before switching to a search engine, unable to watch as it started pinging with notifications. He savagely hit the mute button and stared blankly at the empty search bar unable to stomach the thought of hearing the video go viral. 

Biting his lip, he entered: 'HOW TO KILL YOURSELF PAINLESSLY' and started researching as the tears streamed down his face. He'd been broken long before now. The only difference was that he'd stopped bothering to pick the pieces back up. Because there wasn't any point to do so anymore. 

Tomoko was gone. Tadashi hated him. No one cared. 

Hiro took in a shuddering breath as his choice of leaving this world was made, carefully considered and then accepted. He just had one more thing to do. 

He picked up his phone, ignoring the notifications unrelated to his purpose. 

_ Ordinary Gifted - OG - has joined the chat at - 4:36 PM - _

_ OG: Hey... Tomoko, since I won't be able to see you, I just wanted to say, thank you for being there for me. Thank you for making my last days of highschool brighter than they would have without you. Goodbye, Tomoko. _

_ Ordinary Gifted - OG - has left the chat at - 4:42 PM - _

Hiro tossed the phone face down on his bed. He wouldn't need it anymore. He paused at the door, looking at the mess he'd made while living in his side of the room. It would hurt Aunt Cass if she had to organize his stuff after he was gone. 

Hiro didn't want to be a bigger burden than he already was and so he turned around and rolled up his sleeves. The faster he did this, the faster he would be able to reunite with his parents. 

***

Tadashi was late. 

***

Hiro shook, pain covering every part of his mind. It was like lava was in his veins, turning every nerve cell into flaming mess of pain. He couldn’t breath through his sobs. It  _ hurt _ . It HURT!

_ Tada-ni… Tada-ni… Tada-n… Tad…  _

***

Tadashi’s vision swam as his breath caught in his throat.  _ Where’s Hiro?  _ the thought dimly penetrated the fog clouding his mind.  _ I have to find Hiro!  _

“HIRO!” he called, near the top of his lungs. “HIRO WHERE ARE YOU!” 

There was only silence. 

***

There was a rushing in his ears. 

Everything was growing dark. 

Hiro couldn’t find his breath. 

“HIRO! WHERE!” 

Who was that…. calling him? Ta… 

***

“HIRO!” 

***

The darkness was heavy so dim what was breathing? dimly heard a sound a repeated sound that was loud and dull and quiet and fading… 

***

“Don’t worry, I’m getting you out of there, just hang on!” 

***

Tadashi was late. 


	14. Chapter 14

Tadashi stared blankly at the wall, leg bouncing up and down in an absentminded, agitated fashion. The only sound besides the sound of his sneaker squeaking on the hospital tile floor was the steady beat of a heart monitor. The murmur of Aunt Cass and a doctor whose name Tadashi didn’t care to remember talking washed over him. But his focus was on the beat, the beat that had nearly been wiped out, nearly missing being forever erased out of his life. 

Tadashi closed his eyes and breathed through his nose, grimacing as the smell of hospital and antiseptic hit him like a sledgehammer, bringing forth faded memories. He hated hospitals. They made those faded memories slightly more pronounced and vibrant. Memories of when his life had changed forever, when he was only seven and so sure he knew everything, with little Hiro clutched to him. He’d only been three when it happened… 

Hiro… just thinking his little brother’s name shot shards of agony through his heart and brings tears to his eyes. He’d been crying on and off for hours. The memories of a nightmare turned reality flooded his mind again. 

_ The shine from the hall light on the blood slick tile, how limp the body of his brother had been, head lolling into the crook of his arm, skin clammy and still warm. The wetness of the towel as it turned a dark murky brown then fully red, staining his fingers. His throat tearing as he screamed and screamed and SCREAMED for (help please Aunt Cass! Aunt Cass! Please, anyone! Help me he’s BLEEDING OUT)!  _

_ Raging at the world because he couldn’t lose his little brother (not you too, not you please no not you) too and pleading for his brother to ( stay with me buddy please. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry sorry sorry sorry no no no please PLEASE DON’T LEAVE. WHERE’S AUNT CASS - HIRO STAY ALIVE, PLEASE) stay.  _

_ How footsteps had sounded up the stairs finally and Aunt Cass had screamed and someone was crying and shouting for an ambulance and yelling at a 911 operator. How hands had tried to pry him away and he’d looked up covered in blood into the faces of paramedics and had to let go (no no Hiro I’m sorry I’m sorry please don’t leave me I’m sorry I’m sorry it’s my fault my fault please don’t die) of his brother’s hand and makeshift tourniquet and let them work all the while feeling - numb numb numb numb - like a wall was between him and the world. A paramedic was trying to talk but it’s only noise between the rushing in his ears and the tears falling (“I found him like that. He-”) and he chokes and tastes the salt of his own tears.  _

_ He’d fallen silent, trembling, still crying, choking, shuddering. It was like he’d never stop ever again. He knew nothing would ever be the same. Now that blood was on the tile and on his hands and the reassuring warmth of Hiro’s limp body was GONE. _

_ Things blurr and suddenly he finds himself in the car, heading to the hospital behind a wailing ambulance with it’s red lights flashing in his eyes. Red is all he can see. Everything is still numb.  _

_ Time slips again and Tadashi finds himself in an uncomfortable chair, staring at a prone figure so achingly familiar and yet so foreign as wires and a breathing tube are covering a delicate cherub face and body. So still… so still it’s wrong. He should be moving, talking his ear off a mile a minute, doing SOMETHING instead of just being so… still… The beat of the heart monitor is his only solace.  _

Tadashi is only left with unanswered questions. A constant barrage of ‘why’s on repeat. Over and over again he asked the same thing in varied forms. Why had he done it? Why had Hiro felt like it would be the best option if he wasn’t on the earth anymore? Why had  _ his little brother  _ felt the need to end it all? Why… why… why why why why! 

Tadashi curled in on himself, the tears falling faster, falling harder as his breath caught in his throat, choking him in mid whine. His arms encircled his middle and it was like he had been cleaved in half. 

If only he had refused Thomas’ offer! An hour… he’d only meant to stay an hour. But an hour had turned into two, eventually merged into three as Thomas kept him well distracted by dragging him everywhere. At four hours Tadashi had managed to glance at his phone and felt his heart  _ stop _ . He’d ripped his arm away from Thomas’ grip and had spun on his heel. He’d ignored the startled questions as he raced out of the house and into his car. By the time he’d driven himself home though, the panic had been replaced by excuses, explanations that tried to shift the blame off of Tadashi’s shoulders and onto anyone else’s but his. He’d lied to himself and had told a half truth to Aunt Cass. But really, he had  _ no excuse _ . If there was a contest for World’s Worst Big Brother In All of Time and Space, who would win hands down, no questions asked? 

Him. It was him.  _ He  _ was the _ worst brother _ in the  _ world _ . 

Who went to parties instead of going to a movie  _ promised  _ to a precious younger brother? Oh yeah. It was him. He was such a selfish idiot. How had he not  _ seen _ that Hiro was struggling? How could he have just believed that it was just him being tired, him being a moody teenager with pubescent mood swings, when in hindsight, Hiro’s actions were a textbook example of depression! He was the worst brother in all of history. 

“Tadashi?” 

The boy in question jerked, eyes red and puffy as Aunt Cass, her own face red and splotchy, placed a hand on his shoulder. 

Tadashi averted his eyes. “Hi Aunt Cass…” he murmured, voice choked. His eyes travel to the prone form on the hospital bed, Hiro’s chest rising and falling in a reassuring steady pace. 

“It’s late. How about you go get some sleep.” Aunt Cass said softly. 

Tadashi bit his lip and frowned. “But Hiro could -”

“They have him on some medication that’s making him sleep through the night. He won’t be waking up for about eight more hours, Tadashi. Go home, I’ll stay with him and txt you if anything changes.” his aunt told him. 

The sixteen year old’s shoulders slumped. “...Okay…” he said, defeated. 

His eyes traveled back to where Hiro lay, sleeping. A white bandage could be seen peeking out from behind the guide rails, wrapped around a thin wrist. Tadashi swallowed the lump in his throat and stood up, tearfully looking away from his little brother. 

He’d be leaving him alone… like he always did… 

He was a horrible brother. 

His footsteps echoed on the tile floor, loud in the relative silence of the hospital room. He reached the white sterile door and paused. He turned around and looked at his brother’s prone form again. The sixteen year old took a deep breath and bowed so low that he was practically bent in half. “I’m so sorry Otouto…” 

He ignored Aunt Cass’ dismayed gasp and fled the room, the tears falling again. 

He was a failure of an older brother. 

***

The cafe was dark when he stumbled in through the back door. He cringed back, the memories of running down the dark hall screaming for Hiro with panic flooding his mind flooding his senses. He was on his hand and knees, retching for what could have happened if he was a little later in glancing at his phone and realizing he needed to be home, if Hiro had gone vertical along his arm instead of horizontal. Eventually, the fit passes but it leaves him trembling on the wood floor and staring at the stairs with trepidation. 

After what seems like eternity, Tadashi manages to push himself up off the ground. He braces himself when he takes that first step onto the staircase, breath hitching and the hand holding onto the guardrail clenching and unclenching spasmodically. His dark eyes travel the wall and then flinch away at a picture of Hiro grinning toothily, the gap in his teeth shining wide and proud, the corners of his cheeks making his eyes crinkle just a little around the edges. He’d just managed to catch one of the biggest fishes in Lake Yami, just south of San Fransokyo. It’d been the summer just before all of this had happened. 

Hiro was so proud. He looked confident, and sure of himself. He hadn’t looked like that in a long time, Tadashi realized and cursed himself for another failure in his brotherly duties. He hadn’t seen the difference, the changes had occurred in so small of increments, that it was overlooked. 

Tadashi ripped his eyes away from the picture and looked at his feet instead, the guilt churning in his chest and making his eyes sting with more cursed tears. 

***

He stared into the darkness, breath catching in his throat, foot frozen in mid air. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t enter the place that had started this entire nightmare. But… he had to. His bed was in there after all. So was Hiro’s. He’d have to cross Hiro’s room to get to his. He couldn’t do this. 

Tadashi shook his head. “Stop being so  _ stupid _ !” he scolded himself angrily and swiped on the light, flinching back at the foreign cleanliness of Hiro’s side of the room. Another reminder of what had happened because of his bad brother skills. 

The screensaver was still on. Tadashi gritted his teeth and turned his back on it, making it a point to not investigate as he headed to the shogi screen that seperated the large space into their bedrooms. 

It could have only been just  _ his  _ and he  _ wouldn’t have known  _ if he had left later than he had. It’d been too close. Far too close. 

Something pinged and Tadashi glanced down at his phone. It was Eve. 

Eve: TADASHI

TADASHI PLEASE ANSWER THIS AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP

OH MY GOSH I HATE TIME ZONE DIFFERECES 

TADASHI I KNOW YOU STAY UP LATE ON FRIDAYS!

TADASHI

TADASHI

TADASHI

Tadashi’s eyes widened. 

Tadashi: What’s wrong Eve? What’s happened? Why are you All Caps Raging at me? Did I do something wrong? 

Eve: IT’S GIFT. I THINK THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM. HE SENT ME A TEXT AROUND FOUR THIRTY YOUR TIME SAYING GOODBYE AND I 

I THINK HES

I THINK HES KILLED HIMSELF

I 

HE ISN’T ANSWERING ME. 

Tadashi felt ice freeze his stomach and he closed his eyes as his synapses finished connecting the dots. 

Tadashi: Gift’s fine. 

Eve: HOW DO YOU KNOW

oops capslock -_-

How do you know?

Tadashi: I think Gift is my younger brother. We found him just in time but… 

Eve: Tadashi I am SO sorry

Tadashi: No, it’s not your fault. it’s mine I should have seen the signs. I study medical texts for fun. I should have known better than just blowing it off as teenage mood swings!

Eve: Tadashi, it’s not your fault. 

Tadashi snorted. “Yeah it is.” he muttered, typing up his words as he spoke them. Then he tossed his phone onto his bed with a dark laugh before hanging his head, shoulders shaking. 

He was the worst brother  _ ever _ . 


	15. Chapter 15

Tadashi finally braved Hiro’s side of the room, his pain overcome by an overwhelming  _ need to know why _ . And maybe… just maybe, his little brother’s computer would help him with that. 

The first thing the sixteen year old noticed was that all the tabs on the browser were tiny, and he felt his heart constrict as he realized that Hiro had  _ so many tabs dedicated to ways of killing himself.  _ And yet, he’d chosen the one of the ways that would hurt the most. Did his brother really hate himself that much? 

Tadashi swallowed thickly, fighting back the tears that he was growing to accept as something that’d become a Thing. His trembling fingers hit a button on the keyboard and suddenly the elder Hamada was bombarded with the sounds of a social page going off with many notifications. 

_ Hiro’s social page? _ Tadashi thought faintly. Frantic in his searching for the right tab, the teen clicked through several pages of information Hiro had looked at only hours previous. Maybe his social page would have answers. 

The thing about truth is that it’s a Pandora’s Box. Once you’ve learned something you can never unlearn it. It is forever in your brain. 

Tadashi found Hiro’s social page-- and he immediately wished he hadn’t. So many posts were about a video, about how it was about time, and other nasty, nasty things that made the elder Hamada flinch back at their vulgarity. Tadashi closed his eyes and breathed through his nose, gripping the edge of the desk in an attempt to ground himself. The words swam into being behind his eyelids, demanding he pay attention. They were to be forever engrained, the words seemed to insist.

Dim memories of a day full of anger and agitation, come running into his mind. Memories of how Hiro’s phone had buzzed and buzzed and buzzed without end and was ultimately ignored on the car ride home. Was this what Hiro’d been going through? Day in, day out? Had it gotten so bad that he couldn’t take it anymore? But… he’d been so happy last night… 

_ And yet  _ you  _ let him down _ , a dark voice said in the back of his mind, making Tadashi flinch and look anywhere but his little brother’s computer. _ Just like everyone else _ . It was true. It was his sworn duty as an older brother to protect the children who were born after. And yet… he had failed, in the most horrific of ways. He hadn’t been able to protect his little brother from himself, because he’d been so wrapped up in his own business, his own worries that he hadn’t seen anything wrong until it was too late. Tadashi had failed because he wasn’t there to support Hiro when he had needed it the most. 

Eventually, Tadashi found himself watching the video everyone was going crazy over. And felt his stomach drop as Hiro’s tear stained face filled his view. 

_ “I’m the real Hiro Hamada and I don’t know why everyone heard my name and decided to hate me for who I am.”  _

Tadashi couldn’t breathe. His brother looked so broken, so lost and confused. It was like he’d crumble away into dust in the slightest breeze. “Hiro, no…” he whispered, voice hitching. 

_ “My parents chose the Japanese characters meaning generous or tolerant when they decided to focus on my Japanese heritage.” _

Tadashi bowed his head as his little brother’s voice cracked and trembled with suppressed tears, brown eyes shining and looking imploringly at the camera as if he were begging his audience to just  _ understand _ . The Hiro on the camera shifted slightly and glanced away before returning to the camera. His voice was hoarse. 

_ “But I think I’ve used up all the tolerance that my parents wanted me to have. Because now… now I hate myself too.”  _

Tadashi was crying, loud sobs and a constant stream of “I’m so sorry, Hiro!” being repeated over and over. He nearly missed what Hiro had to say next, what made his blood run cold. 

_ “And I’ve thought… Wouldn't it be nice... To see them again? After nine years of knowing that I never really knew them. Because they've been dead. And... Maybe... I should be there, wherever they are too.” _

Tadashi shook his head frantically, hyperventilating through his sobs. “No, please! Don’t think like that!” he begged, despite having the knowledge of what had been done. His Hiro looked defeated, like he’d given up fighting. 

And he had. He had stopped fighting because  _ no one had stood up for him _ .  _ Because no one had fought for him. _ Including his older brother. 

_“_ _I don't know... if heaven or hell exists. I just... I want to go_ home.” the camera Hiro pleaded wearily and Tadashi felt his heart shatter into irreparable pieces. 

Then, camera Hiro smiled softly, suddenly insecure. He floundered for words.  _ “So… I guess this is goodbye?”  _

A tear streamed down his Hiro’s face and the dust of Tadashi’s heart caught flame and turned to molten ashes. Camera Hiro reached up and turned off the camera. The video was finished. 

Tadashi was broken. Had been breaking ever since he found Hiro’s internet history. But now, after finding what was basically Hiro’s  _ suicide note,  _ he was completely broken into jagged pieces that he didn’t even know how to fix. He was sure Hiro was worse off than he was and that made the tears all the more bitter. Because when you love someone so much and you see them in pain, you want to take all of their pain and make it your own so they don’t have to suffer. 

But that’s not healthy, and Tadashi knew it. Knew it and yet it didn’t change that desire to take all of Hiro’s pain away. Tadashi was and always would be a protector, and right now, he felt like he’d failed at that. Failed at what was his core principle. He’d failed as a person, and as a brother. 

His weary, tear logged eyes traveled back to the screen. So many comments were referencing a second video. Someone had even posted a link to it after others had questioned about it, obviously just as out of the loop as he was. 

It was filmed with a shaky hand, the camera going everywhere at once and made Tadashi feel queasy from all the excess motion. 

_ “-nerd, ever consider taking a swim?” _ a cocky voice asked and suddenly Tadashi’s blood ran chill for the second time that night before it suddenly switched to a white hot rage that changed that ice to  _ fire _ because that was his baby brother being manhandled in the boys bathroom nearest the cafeteria. 

_ “Please don’t!” _

The rage boiling inside Tadashi’s chest rose a few notches at the sheer terror in his baby brother’s voice. Hiro was begging. He never begged, unless he was trying to worm his way out of something trivial like a disliked chore. And it was never like this.  _ Never _ . 

_ “Should’ve done our homework,  _ nerd _.”  _

_ “You earned that grade, Andrews!”  _

Tadashi felt pride in how Hiro was still trying to stand up for himself, even though he was clearly terrified of whatever these bullies were planing. Rage surged up again as the one identified as Andrews leaned close to Hiro’s face. 

_ “Because of you I’m having to retake the class.”  _ Despite it being hissed, the camera still caught it. 

_ “You did nothing, you can’t expect to pass a class just by skating through and doing no work at all-”  _

Tadashi let out an angered yell as the slap resounded hard and clear in the speakers. He was going to hunt down this Andrews and make him see how he liked being slapped around by a  _ black belt.  _

_ “Let’s take him swimming guys.”  _

And Hiro screamed before he went limp, having been punched in the solar plexus. Tadashi’s hands fisted into balls, his fingernails making half crescent moons in his flesh. 

_ “Aw… is the lil’ nerd scawered?” _ the one filming taunted as Tadashi’s  _ little baby brother  _ was dragged into the stall and forced to his knees, arms pinned behind his back. 

_ No no no no no  _ Tadashi’s mind went to dark places and he fought the urge to throw up. 

_ “I h-hate you.”  _ Hiro hissed, mouth full of poisonous venom and Tadashi couldn’t find it within himself to disagree with the vitriol that had spewed out of his baby brother’s mouth. 

_ “Like you’ll do anything about it, you wimp.”  _ And then his baby brother’s head  _ was dunked into the toilet bowl.  _ Three times in total this occurred and every time, Tadashi feared that they would drown him as the one filming zoomed in on Hiro’s thrashing body as he grew weaker and weaker in his struggles. 

They dumped him wet and gasping for breath on the tile floor and Tadashi hated _ hated HATED  _ the laughter that those evil fiends let loose before the video suddenly cut off, having been jerked away from the crying form of his baby brother just as it ended. 

The rage burned in his veins, an icy cold thing. Tadashi knew one thing for certain: he was going to find this Andrews, and kill him. And anyone else who got in his way and thought that touching a  _ hair  _ on his baby brother’s head was okay. It. Wasn’t. 

Tadashi scrolled to the top of the social page and began writing. 

_ This is Tadashi Hamada and you all have nearly caused me to loose the only family I have left. I hope you’re happy that my little brother is lying in a hospital bed, strung up to IVs and medical tape and staples being the ONLY THING from keeping him from dying of blood loss. A TWELVE YEAR OLD LITTLE BOY! A BOY! IS IN A HOSPITAL ROOM, DRUGGED TO SLEEP, BECAUSE OF YOU ALL.  _

_ I hope you’re all happy. Because I am NOT.  _

It wasn't what he wanted to say in full, but it would have to do. Otherwise it would be illegible and filled to the brim with curse words and Tadashi didn’t want to be on  _ their  _ level. The sixteen year old hit post and shut down the browser. He needed to walk off this rage before he did something stupid and wasted it. 

***

Darkness slowly faded to the red gleam of sunlight piercing through the blood vessels within his closed eyelids. His head felt like it was floating, high up in outer space. The soft sound of a machine’s steady beat washed over him as the strange sensation of oxygen pouring constantly through his nose caused said appendage to twitch and scrunch up at the foreign experience. 

He opened brown eyes and winced at the brightness, a whine escaping his lips as he blinked away tears of sleep. Where was he? 

The ceiling was white, he observed. He tilted his head sideways. The walls were white with blue trim. Hiro turned his head back and heaved a bitter sigh, screwing his eyes shut at the sunlight filtering through the sheer white curtains.  _ Great _ . He was a failure as well as a screw up. He couldn’t even  _ die  _ properly. Now, he was stuck in a hospital room, where there’d be no way for him to try for a second time. 

Great. Just perfect, like he’d always wanted. 

The sound of a door shutting makes him flinch and Tadashi’s voice rings out, loud and clear despite it being coated in hesitance. “...Hiro?” 

Hiro didn’t want to open his eyes. He didn't want to see the look of… of whatever look Tadashi was sure to have on his face. 

“Hiro… I know you’re awake.” Tadashi said softly, “Your heart rate changed a bit when I walked into the room.” 

“Huh… So that’s what that constant beeping noise is. It should stop. It’s getting annoying.” 

Suddenly, a weight was on his bed and Hiro flinched back again, eyes flying open to meet the dark gaze of his older brother who had sat down near his feet. Tadashi reached over and grasped Hiro’s shoulder, looking him directly in the eye. “Hiro…” His voice broke and Hiro’s eyes grew wider at the tears that streamed down his brother’s face. 

Hiro looked away, suddenly uncomfortable. “Why do you care, Tadashi?” he asked dully. Tadashi wiped at his tears and scowled. 

“Because I’m your brother. I’ve never stopped caring for you and I never will!” the sixteen year old declared. Hiro shut his eyes as if the declaration pained him. 

“Just saying words doesn’t mean that you actually mean it,  _ nii-san _ .” he bit out and the weight on his hospital bed shifted. 

“Then I won’t say anything. I’ll prove it to you through my actions.” And then big arms were wrapping around his middle, careful of the IV in his arm and suddenly Hiro found himself in the middle of an extremely awkward hug. 

“Just one hug doesn’t mean you care, stupid!” Hiro scowled, trying to push Tadashi away and off his person, brown eyes shining. “It doesn’t mean  _ anything _ ! Its just two people putting their arms around each other - haven’t you realized how weird that is! You could hug me all the time and it wouldn’t change a thing!” The tears fell and he quieted down, shivering. “It wouldn’t change anything.” he whispered. 

Tadashi just hugged him tighter. “That’s where you’re wrong, buddy. You don’t see it yet, but I’m sure you will eventually.” 

“Shut up.” Hiro whispered hoarsely. “Just shut up!” 

Tadashi pulled out of the hug and sat up straight again. There is silence for a while then, the dreaded question: “Hiro. Why did you do it?”

Hiro looked away again. His hands fisted into little balls and he bit his lip, hard. He really _ , really  _ didn't want to answer that. 

“Why did you go for a blade, Hiro?” Tadashi pressed, “Out of all the other ways, why did you choose that one?” 

Hiro’s lip ached so hard that he thinks that he might have caused it to start to bleed like he had in the beginning of the year.

“Hiro, please.” Tadashi begged. “I need to understand.” 

“Why do you think, Tadashi?!” Hiro spat out. 

“That doesn’t matter, I need to hear from you first.” 

“Shut up!” Hiro screamed at his brother, tossing his head to the side so he didn’t have to see the look of devastation on his big brother’s face. “Just shut up! Stop talking! You ask and you ask all the wrong questions! You don’t look deeper! You leave me alone when I don’t want you to, you ignore me for your own ideas and concepts and you - you have the  _ gall  _ to come back to me, acting worried and  _ concerned _ \- WHEN YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING OF THE SORT SINCE THE SUMMER BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED!” The tears started streaming down his face then. “You look and you don’t see  _ anything _ , you’re blind to what’s going on around you - even if it’s right under your nose! I tried so hard to reach out but you never noticed! Never noticed anything different about the way I acted. You just  _ ignored me! _ ” 

Hiro let out shrill laugh, something so hysterical and high pitched that it kept Tadashi rooted to his spot. “If this is what it takes to get your attention I’ll be dead by the end of the year.” The boy continued softly, a manic gleam in his shining brown eyes. Tadashi jerked back as if he’d been slapped. 

“Hiro... otouto, no -”

Hiro let out another giggle, more hysterical than the last. To Tadashi it sounded more like a sob. “You asked me why I did it,  _ ni-san _ . Why I chose to do what I did out of  _ all the others…” _

Tadashi swallowed thickly. 

“It’s because I  _ hate myself,  _ that’s why!” Hiro howled, his laughter coming out more like sobs than anything else. The bed bounced and suddenly Hiro found himself being pulled into another hug, making him squirm as he was completely lifted off his back. 

Tadashi tucked his face into Hiro’s shoulder, pulling the boy close to his chest as his shoulders trembled. The younger boy froze in his wiggling as a wetness started to stain his hospital gown. “T-Tadashi - what?” 

“I’m so, so  _ sorry _ .” Tadashi whispered, shaking hands carding through Hiro’s fluffy hair. “You’re right, I  _ haven't  _ paid any attention to what’s been going on outside my own little bubble world. I’m so sorry, otouto. I’m so sorry! I’m so selfish…” he sniffed, “I never paused to think that my actions would hurt  _ you.  _ I’ve failed you, as a brother and as a fellow human being. I’m so sorry… I know words won't make this failure up but I am still so  _ sorry _ !”

Hiro closed his eyes, shakily breathing in his brother’s scent. Tears soaked his eyelashes and streamed down an already tear stained face. Trembling hands hesitantly reached up around Tadashi’s shoulders and clung to his jacket. Hiro buried his face into Tadashi’s shoulder and sobbed.

“I wanna die, oni-san. I don’t wanna  _ be here anymore _ .” the twelve year old wailed. “I wanna die…” Tadashi rocked him gently, ever mindful of the cords that were necessary for his baby brother’s vital signs. 

He started humming a soft nameless tune and his hand never stopped carding soothingly through Hiro’s hair. Even after the younger boy’s wails had turned to sobs and the sobs had drifted off into stuffy snores as the medication kicked in again. Despite the dead weight the sixteen year old didn’t move from his position on the bed, cradling his brother to his chest.

Tadashi didn’t want to let go of his little brother ever again. 

Tenderly, the teenager kissed the forehead resting against his neck. “You don’t know this yet, baby brother, but I’m  _ never giving up on you _ .” he whispered, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “I’m not leaving you behind again. I’ll be with you every step of the way.  _ I promise. _ ” 

Tadashi knew that he’d have to say this again and again until it stuck when Hiro was awake, but for now… For now… he’d stay right here. 

After all, he’d nearly lost his little brother the other day. He wasn’t going anywhere.


	16. Chapter 16

"Nii-san," Hiro made a vain attempt at keeping the tremors that showed his thin patience out of his voice. "I understand that you're... worried. Believe me, it's very hard to ignore... er... not see." He rubbed his temples as he continued. "However, I have one  _ small _ request to make, if that's alright with you."

Tadashi beamed at him from across the room, waiting with his arms open on the other side of the bed. "What's that, otouto?" He questioned brightly. 

"Stop. Touching. Me." Hiro bit out in reply, glaring daggers at his brother.

The wounded puppy dog look that Tadashi sent him made him shudder. He  _ had  _ to put his foot down! He couldn’t remain in his older brother’s arms  _ forever _ , now could he? He needed his space and Tadashi was  _ smothering  _ him in affection. It was driving him nuts! 

Soft footfalls reached his ears and Hiro backed away from his brother, who was walking towards him with outstretched arms, that pleading look still plastered to his face. 

“I don’t want another hug, Tadashi! I said no!” Hiro snapped, eyes looking wildly around the room for an escape route. Tadashi crept closer and Hiro spotted a way out. It was in range of his older brother’s octopus arms, though. But if he was fast enough, logically speaking, he  _ could  _ get past him if he ran hard enough. 

Tadashi was nearly close enough to grab him by force by the time he’d calculated the best way of going through with his not so thought out plan. With a deep breath, Hiro quickly darted to the side and around his older brother’s grabby hands as they dove to nab him. Quickly, he palmed his hands onto the bed and vaulted over it, wincing as his still raw wrist stung painfully at the movement. His bare feet hit the floor running, and pretty soon he’d plastered himself on the opposite side of the room, back flat against the wall. 

“Bad Tadashi. Bad.” Hiro pointed a shaky finger at his pouting older brother, as if he were scolding an overly affectionate Great Dane that would bowl you over at any moment in an attempt to gift your face with slobbery kisses. 

“But Hirrrooooo~!” Tadashi wailed softly. “You need to get back in bed! You’re not supposed to be up yet!”

Hiro bristled. “I said I’m fine, you idiot! It’s not like I can do anything in this room!” 

Tadashi’s face darkened. “Hiro. Get back into bed, please.” 

The twelve year old fought back a flinch and held his ground. “No. I’m fine! I don’t even get why you’re so concerned about this anyways! I’ve said it over and over again that I’m fine but  _ no one believes me! _ ”

Tadashi had his eyes closed and he was slightly trembling. “Just saying words doesn’t mean that you actually mean it, Hiro.” he said softly and this time Hiro really did flinch, hitting his head against the wall. 

“S-So? I don’t wanna get back in bed, Ni-san. I’m bored out of my mind! I need to move, stretch my legs!” 

“Should’ve thought about that before you  _ tried to kill yourself. _ ” Tadashi said solemnly, finally deciding it would be pertinent to catch his wayward younger brother again before he could get into any trouble. 

“Tadashi, I-- gyaaaaack-” Hiro dove for the door. Tadashi dove for him. Tadashi won.

“Cmon, otouto. You’re going to bed.” Tadashi spoke nonchalantly as Hiro kicked and squirmed, tucked under his arm like a football. 

“Tadashi! Put me  _ down! _ ” Hiro shouted, feet kicking at the air. The twelve year old let out a frustrated grunt and finally just grew limp, admitting defeat in the face of his older brother’s stronger arms. That grunt turned into a startled ‘woah!’ as Tadashi suddenly plopped him down on the bed, the covers already drawn back and ready for him. Hiro let out a resigned and put upon sigh as Tadashi gently pushed him down into the pillows and tucked the blanket up to his chin. 

Immediately after his brother had let go of the blanket, Hiro squirmed around to get his trapped arms out from underneath the suffocating covers. “Stop being such a mother hen!” he grumbled, turning onto his side so he didn’t have to look at his older brother’s pouting face. “I don’t even get why you’re still here. You’ve missed, like, two days of school already. It looks like you plan on going on for a third. It’s been five days, Nii-san. I’m  _ fine _ .” 

Because he was facing away from his brother, Hiro completely missed how Tadashi’s face darkened and his hand fisted. What he _didn’t_ miss was the knuckles that dug entirely too hard into the top of his skull and rubbed hard and fast against his fluffy tangle of hair. 

“ _ Ow ow ow ow ow ow!  _ Tadashi what the he _ - _ ” Hiro whirled back around and froze in place at the sight of tears streaming down his older brother’s face. 

“You idiot! Just because you aren’t hooked to any IVs or heart monitors, doesn’t mean you’re  _ fine _ .” Tadashi’s hands made air quotes around the word ‘fine’, his voice shaky and choked with tears. Hiro shifted, hands pulling up the covers to his chin defensively. 

“But I  _ am _ , Tadashi! You don’t - you don’t have to worry! I promise I’ll stay here in bed, if you’ll go to school.” Hiro attempted to bargain. 

“And leave you all alone? Without  _ supervision _ ?” Tadashi’s voice squeaked high in his anxiety, shaking hands reaching up to pull at normally neat black hair. Hiro rolled his brown eyes with a scowl. 

“ _ Tadashi _ . They  _ did  _ take me off of 24 hour watch, after all.” 

“Doesn’t mean that you won’t try something.” Tadashi muttered. Hiro flinched and his older brother’s dark eyes narrowed. 

“Hiro.” 

Hiro tried to plaster a look of innocence on his face. “What’s wrong Nii-san?” 

Tadashi’s face was turning bright red. He opened his mouth, just about to say something when a hesitant knock reached both Hamada’s ears. 

“WHAT?”

“CAN WE HELP YOU?” 

The poor nurse flinched back at the volume the two Hamada brother’s let loose and nervously pointed to the cart she had with her. “Breakfast?” she stammered. 

Hiro brightened. “Awesome!” he moved to get out of the bed but Tadashi’s firm hand halted him before he could even sit up. 

Tadashi gave him a stern look. “You. Bed. Stay.” he pointed a finger at Hiro’s chest, to which the boy batted it away with a disgusted groan. 

“You’re such a mother hen, Nii-san!” 

“Because someone has to do it.” Tadashi muttered, before molding his face into something a little more pleasant for the poor nurse. “Sorry about that. What’s on the menu for today?” 

“U-um… Waffles?” the petrified nurse stammered. 

Tadashi nodded. “I’ll make sure he eats it all then.” And then he waited. 

The nurse started, realizing he was waiting to be handed a tray and moved to get it for him. “S-Sorry!” 

Tadashi gently took the tray and smiled at her. “You’re fine. What’s your name, by the way?” 

“S-Sally.” the nurse stammered. 

Tadashi nodded again, his smile widening. “Thank you, Sally.” Then he turned around and put the tray down on the table, his eyes examining the contents of the grey plastic. 

His face darkened again and suddenly his hand snapped down and grabbed something off of the tray. “SEE THIS, HIRO?!” 

Hiro glanced over, having sat up once Tadashi had left his side and groaned, flopping back down and tossing his arm across his eyes melodramatically. “Oh my gosh, Nii-san. Stop it. I’ve told you! I’m  _ fin- _ ”

“YOU ARE NOT FINE, HIRO!” Tadashi’s screech came at an unholy pitch. “YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF WITH THIS!!!!” In his hand, he held a plastic knife. 

Hiro uncovered his face and gave the plastic knife an inquisitive glance, considering it. “Hmmm… great idea.” he grinned darkly at his brother. “Thanks, Nii-san.” 

Tadashi nearly had a heart attack. In a flash he had dropped the knife to clutch at his baby brother, practically sobbing in his panic. 

“Nii-san, I think it’s you who needs to be in the psych ward, not me.” Hiro grumbled, trying to shove Tadashi’s tear stained face away from his shoulder. “Jeez, it was just a  _ joke _ . Stop overreacting!” 

“How am I overreacting???? Tell me how, when that’s what got you in here in the first place!!!” By this time, Tadashi had managed to grab Hiro’s shoulders and was shaking him. “I can’t lose you, too, Hiro! Don’t make me be the only one left!”

Hiro stared blankly at the wall as Tadashi pulled him into another hug. Hm… he’d never thought of that. Tadashi remembered the accident that had taken away their mom and dad. Of course it would hurt him if Hiro was gone. But… wouldn’t it be better anyways? If he just left to meet up with  _ them  _ again? It wasn’t fair that  _ Tadashi _ was the only one to know them, after all. 

But Hiro didn’t dare to voice these thoughts. Not after Tadashi’s little freakout over him. Rolling his eyes, the twelve year old connected gazes with the poor nurse (Sally, wasn’t it?) who looked about ten seconds away from passing out. 

‘Sorry.’ Hiro mouthed to her and jerked his head in a dismissive motion. He shooed a hand at her for good measure. In a daze, the nurse known as Sally nodded and slowly backed out of the room. The squeak of the cart’s wheels soon faded away from Hiro’s hearing. He sighed and focused back on his captor. 

“Honestly, Nii-san.” he sighed. “You really need to go back to school. Think about all the work you’re missing - on the first days of your new classes too!” 

Tadashi just hugged him tighter. “You come first.” he muttered into Hiro’s shoulder. “I’m not making you last ever again. You’re my baby brother, you’ll always be my first priority.” 

Hiro felt his heart constrict and he closed his eyes, inwardly cursing Tadashi and his way with words. He’d… almost believed him, that time. The hugging and clinging dragged on, driving every nerve of his up the wall. He wiggled experimentally and Tadashi’s arms reflexively tightened around his upper back and shoulders. 

Ugh. How do you get an older brother turned burr off???? And away for that matter. 

“Tadashi, you’re smothering me again. Get. Off.” Hiro hissed through gritted teeth, arms pinned to his chest as he tried pushing his older brother away from him. Tadashi remained firmly latched on. 

“Nooooo!” Tadashi wailed, smooshing his cheek against Hiro’s head and rubbing frantically. “If you do that you’ll do something stupid and have to stay longer!!!!” 

Hiro groaned. All of this affection was driving him  _ nuts _ . It was a constant thing when Tadashi was triggered into limpet mode. The elder Hamada did it so much, it was making Hiro feel claustrophobic! 

Months of having to make do with barely a pat on the head made this entire situation very hard to deal with. He needed  _ space  _ to breathe and Tadashi’s clinging  _ wasn’t doing him any favors. _ It was going to drive him insane. 

“Okay.  _ Okay _ . How about you sit on my bed, then? That way, I don’t leave it.” Hiro bargained, attempting to push his brother away again and ultimately failing. 

A cough caught the struggling Hamada brothers off guard and they both froze. In his wriggling, Hiro had managed to grab onto Tadashi’s cheeks and began to use them as a pushing off point, so both brothers were bent at awkward angles when they had frozen. Hiro craned his head and grinned brightly at the new comer. 

“Dr. Ginea! Hi!” Hiro brightly greeted his doctor. Finally! Someone who’d be able to free him from the clingy clutches from his brother! 

“Hello, Hiro.” The tall, black haired doctor nodded at his young patient before his laser beam brown eyes zoned in on Tadashi. “Tadashi, if you’re going to cause your younger brother to make as much noise as you have, I must insist on your leaving for the day.” 

Tadashi wilted while Hiro let out a mental cheer. 

_ Yes, please! _ the twelve year old thought, nearly dizzy from the prospect of peace that suddenly loomed over him.

But Tadashi didn’t leave, he just let go of his little brother and sulked to the uncomfortable plastic hospital chair. “Yes sir…” came the quiet murmur as the teen slumped down on it. 

Hiro shrugged and flopped down on the bed with a relieved sigh. Finally! Room to actually spread out! 

The twelve year old glanced over at his doctor, who observed the two sulking brothers with an amused air. Making sure Tadashi wasn’t looking, Hiro mouthed ‘save me!’ and pointed to his brother with wide, pleading eyes. Dr. Ginea snorted and motioned to his cell phone discretely, brushing his lab coat aside slightly in the process. The younger Hamada nodded fervently in reply. 

“You boys behave yourselves.” the medical man instructed, and he snuck away. Tadashi only had worried eyes for Hiro. The twelve year old rolled his brown eyes and gave his older brother a Look as he got up from his seat. 

"Tadashi, please just sit on the bed if you're going to come over here." Hiro groaned. Tadashi pouted. 

"But Hiro~!" He moaned, careful to keep his voice quiet lest Dr. Ginea actually enact on his threat. He obediently sat down on the edge of the bed though, making Hiro flop down in relief. Then the boy sat up, a thought causing his youthful brown eyes to widen. 

"Tadashi, does Aunt Cass even  _ know  _ that you're here?" Hiro asked, a grin starting to grow on his face as Tadashi flinched slightly, fingers twitching as if he were fighting the urge to pull Hiro close. 

"She doesn't? Oh, that's rich!" Hiro started laughing. "Just watch, when Aunt Cass gets here, she's gonna kill you!" 

Close to tears once more, Tadashi clung to Hiro's arm. "Please don't call Aunt Cass!" He begged over Hiro's laughter. 

"Too late, Tadashi! Dr. Ginea's calling her right now!" Hiro sang gleefully. "You're gonna be in so much trouble~!" 

Tadashi groaned, burying his face into his little brother's shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, I got that the first time, Hiro." 

Hiro let out a series of loud cackles at his big brother's discomfort. "Shoulda thought it through before you skipped for two days straight~!" 

"I don't care. School can go rot in a dumpster for all that I don't care." Tadashi's voice was muffled but it still made Hiro freeze mid cackle. The younger Hamada tossed his brother an incredulous look. 

"Who are you, and what have you done to my brother??? You can't get into college when you've got bad attendance records!" 

"Hiro." Tadashi stated seriously. "You're more important than getting into college. You're more important than anything that can come in the future, because you're my  _ brother. _ " 

The twelve year old wanted to tear out his fluffy hair. "But you need an education so when you move out - don't look at me like that  _ Nii-San!  _ You're going to move out eventually, so you need to plan for it!" 

Tadashi shook his head. "Hiro, planning is all well and good but when it gets so big that I start ignoring the little things, then I have a problem. I had that problem and I'm not going to let it overcome me again!" 

“I need space too, ya know!” Hiro bristled. “And I’m not little!” 

Tadashi looked confused. “What? It’s just an expression! Hiro, what I’m trying to say is that I was busy looking at the future when I should have been paying more attention to the things happening in the present. Like you getting bullied.” 

Hiro flinched back. “T-Tadashi, I -- what are you talking about!” Hiro gave a self conscious laugh. “I wasn-”

“Hiro.” Tadashi’s voice was pained and it made the twelve year old freeze, grin held weakly in place. “I saw the videos.” 

Hiro felt his face drain of color. “You... what?” his voice went squeaky and high pitched as he fought to keep breathing. 

Tadashi gathered him up close and this time, Hiro didn’t protest. “I saw the videos. I swear, I’m going to hunt down this Andrews, and his stupid cronies - and I am going to make sure they  _ pay. _ ” 

Hiro shivered at the darkness in his older brother’s words. “Tadashi - no! Don’t, they’re not worth it! It’s my fault-”

Tadashi’s arms tightened around him. “Don’t ever say that, Hiro. It’s  _ never  _ your fault!” the sixteen year old gently pushed at his little brother’s shoulders so he could look Hiro straight in the eye. “It’s not your fault. It’s  _ theirs _ . And I’m going to make them pay for what they’ve done to you.” 

Hiro felt tears well up in his eyes. He was so confused! Why was Tadashi being so nice? Why was he saying all of these things? He was supposed to not care about what happened to him! 

“Why are you doing this?” Hiro whispered, sounding lost and conflicted. “Tadashi, I... I don’t understand it at all!

Tadashi silently pulled Hiro close to him and gently tucked Hiro’s head under his chin. “You don’t have to right now. Just know that I’m here for you now, Otouto. I’m not going to leave you.” 

Hiro sniffed softly, trembling hands slowly reaching up to as if to grasp at Tadashi’s shirt. They hung there, unsure before Tadashi’s larger hands gently pushed them against his chest, right over his steadily beating heart. 

“But… what if you do?” he whispered, suddenly fearful. “What if you leave me?”

Tadashi kissed Hiro’s temple. “Not going to happen, I promise bonehead.” 

Hiro curled deeper into Tadashi’s embrace as the tears began to fall, softly, silently. The only way you could tell he was crying was by the slight shake of his shoulders, and the dampness of his cheeks and where Tadashi’s shoulder met with one of those cheeks. 

Tadashi wrapped his arms around his little brother a little tighter and rocked him back and forth. His mind searched desperately for the words he had once sung in situations like this when Hiro had woken him up at three in the morning after a nightmare and he couldn’t go back to sleep. He hummed a few bars and then frowned, shaking his head. No... that wasn’t it. How did it go again?

Oh yeah. 

_ “Hush now my little one, hush _

_ be still as dreams take your sleep _

_ let me watch o’r you and let  _

_ your smiles come to be. _

_ Rest now my little one, rest _

_ and lay your head down to sleep _

_ I will watch o’r you _

_ And protect your dreams _

_ till morning is nigh. _

_ Darkness may creep _

_ and darkness may fight. _

_ But you lay under my watch tonight _

_ So sleep my baby brother, sleep. _

_ I’ll stay till morning light.”  _

Hiro sleepily stirred in his arms. “You haven’t sung that… in a while…” he yawned sleepily. Tadashi chuckled. 

“How about you go to sleep, buddy.” Tadashi suggested quietly. Half asleep already, Hiro didn’t protest when Tadashi picked him up and tucked him back into bed. Tadashi sat down on the edge of the bed and let out a sad sigh. 

“Tadashi?”

The teen in question flinched in surprise and turned guilty eyes towards the door, where Aunt Cass stood. 

He waved weakly. “Hi Aunt Cass…”

“Can we talk?  _ Outside? _ ” she asked. Tadashi hung his head and stood up. Yeah… he was in  _ so  _ much trouble… 


	17. Chapter 17

“Tadashi, what were you thinking?! Skipping school while I’m off at the cafe under a surprise inspection by the REHS?! Aunt Cass sighed wearily, trembling fingers fumbling with the task of opening the bag of vending machine cookies. “Honestly, Tadashi! I expect  _ more _ from you!” 

Tadashi winced and looked down. 

The bag opened noisily. “I would have let you stay another day if you hadn’t skipped without telling me, sweetheart.” Aunt Cass said, voice slightly muffled by the cookies in her mouth. 

Tadashi couldn’t meet her eyes. “Sorry, Aunt Cass…”

“Do you know how long I’ve been eating since I got the call saying that you’d skipped not only once - but  _ twice _ ?! Do you?!” 

The sixteen year old opened his mouth but nothing could escape his lips in the face of her disapproval. 

“I’ve been stress eating for --  _ five days _ ! Because of you boys! You both are going to make me gain ten pounds!” she shook the bag at him for emphasis, cheeks slightly rounded with all the cookies inside.

“I’m sorry…” Tadashi whispered, looking at his feet. “I just… I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear the thought of not knowing if he was okay or not… If he…” he broke off, choking slightly on a quiet sob. 

Aunt Cass’ angry facade broke as she pulled her considerably taller nephew down and into a hug. He crumpled into her arms and she held him as the tears fell again, soaking her blue sweater. 

“Tadashi… I know it’s hard. And I know that you feel that if you leave, he’ll just disappear on you. Believe me,  _ I know _ . But we haven’t lost him yet, and we won’t lose him now. The doctors will make sure of it.” she murmured, gently combing his short black hair with her hand in a soothing repetition before pulling away slightly so she could lock green eyes with his teary dark brown. “Will you please go to school, so you can at least collect your homework for both of you?”

Tadashi wilted. “But…” he sighed, closing his mouth with a resigned grimace. Aunt Cass chuckled, acknowledging that her nephew had conceded to her plan at last. 

“Go on, Tadashi. You’re missing enough class as it is.” she scolded gently. Tadashi sent her a wounded look up slowly complied, pulling away from her embrace fully. 

Aunt Cass felt her heart melt, the cracks in her chest making the warmth sting slightly. She had almost lost one of her boys… She wasn’t going to take either one of them for granted. “Oh… Last hug!” she sighed, pulling him back towards her and throwing her arms around him. Tadashi’s strength wrapped around her as dropped a kiss on her head, being tall enough to do so. 

Her boys were growing so fast… Aunt Cass reflected wryly. One minute they were a pair of tiny limbs and scrawny faces begging for donuts before dinner and then the next she had blinked and Tadashi had flowered into a gangly teenager with big ears that looked awkward on his face and Hiro was losing his chub, but only slightly. She had blinked again and Tadashi was suddenly so tall and broad shouldered and Hiro’s voice was starting to fluctuate. The quick changes made her dizzy and she was beginning to feel her age catching up to her. 

“You drive safely, Tadashi.” she instructed, voice still soft from reflection and the overwhelming sense of love that filled her bosom.

“I will.” came the subdued answer as her eldest hugged her a little tighter, “I love you, Aunt Cass.”

Aunt Cass would never get tired of hearing those three words from her nephews. To think that she could have never heard them from her youngest again… it made her shudder. “I love you too - now get!” she lightly hit his shoulder and made a shooing motion with her hands. “You have school to go to!” 

“Yes Aunt Cass…” Tadashi said, truly resigned to defeat. 

Aunt Cass watched him slowly make his way down the hall with a sad smile, hand over her heart as it ached at the sight. Oh her boys… so wounded from life… She turned towards the door that held her youngest as soon as her eldest had gone around the corner and was out of sight. 

The weary cafe owner walked quietly over and pulled up a seat by his bedside. She’d already had the cafe closed for a few hours, the rest of the day wouldn’t hurt. Her boys needed her here. 

She watched the rise and fall of her youngest’s chest, his youthful face smoothed out by sleep and she felt the tears that she’d been keeping suppressed for five days finally come as her eyes stung. 

“Oh baby…” she whispered, brushing back his bangs from his closed eyes, drying tears dusting his eyelashes. “We nearly lost you. Please don’t make us a family of two… I couldn’t  _ bear  _ it if I had to put another casket in the g-grou-nd…” she cut herself off as the dam broke. Cass buried her face in her hands and started to sob. 

Hiro’s chest rose and fell in needed slumber. 

*** 

The sounds of students talking floated up from the gates and drifted over to reach Tadashi’s ears from his spot of leaning against the car. It was passing period then; he’d made it just in time for second period. The sixteen year old took in a deep breath of the warming morning air and willed himself to take a step forward. 

His feet remained firmly rooted where they were. Tadashi wanted to throw himself back into the driver’s seat and speed all the way to the hospital where he could hug his little brother tight. And yet… The teen was torn between pleasing Aunt Cass and following the instinct to cling to his baby brother.

One one hand, if he stayed, there would be no reason for Aunt Cass or Hiro to be mad at him for going back on his promise (and though he wasn't so worried about their Aunt, he shuddered at the horrific thought of upsetting his dearest brother). 

On the other, Tadashi really, really wanted to be able to have that reassurance that he  _ wasn’t  _ alone; that he wasn’t the only Hamada left. He let his head fall back onto the car with a sigh. 

“Come on, stupid… it’s just  _ school _ . A school that convinced your brother to attempt suicide, but hey, that’s  _ no big deal _ …” 

And suddenly, Tadashi was pissed off. Very, very pissed off. The noise of his fellow students chatting morphed from mere background noise to an annoying roar. The sixteen year old narrowed his eyes at his school and felt a scowl start to grow on his face. 

A memory stirred from the depths of his mind, howling like a fierce gale tunneling its way through a valley. 

_ “Let’s take him swimming, guys.”  _

Tadashi closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He had promised Hiro that he would make the ones responsible pay. And this was one promise that he wasn’t going to back out of. He  _ would  _ bring those who had driven his little brother to depression to justice, even if he had to knock a few heads together to get it. 

Looked like he was staying then. 

Taking another deep breath, Tadashi stepped away from the car. His long legs ate up the distance between him and the school until he stood at the gates. Instead of heading straight inside, though, the teen turned and walked towards the attendance office. He  _ had  _ missed a period, after all… 

The door opened easily and Tadashi slipped into the office. A secretary looked up. “Can I help you?” she questioned. 

Tadashi grimaced, hand reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck sheepishly. “Ah… yeah… Hi. Uh, I need to sign in, cause I’m late and everything…” he trailed off with an exhalation of breath.  _ Man, this is so awkward…  _ There were two reasons he never skipped periods. This was one of them. (Disappointing Aunt Cass was the other but shhh! No one was supposed to know that!)

The secretary raised an eyebrow at the obviously nervous teen. “Alright…” she replied slowly, “Name and reason for being late?” She turned to the computer expectantly, waiting to input the information.

Tadashi sighed heavily, gut clenching at the mere thought of the reason why he had made the decisions he had in the past five days. “Tadashi Hamada. Hospital, for a family emergency.” he said shortly through clenched teeth. He wanted to get this done and over with so he could get on with his day and return to Hiro. 

The secretary’s eyes grew wide as her ears informed her brain on just who she was checking into school. “T-Tadashi  _ H-Hamada _ ? Our Science  _ S-Star _ ? Why are -”

Tadashi never hated his bullheaded interest in the sciences more than he did right then. “Look, Lady. Just - just check me in,  _ okay _ ? I’ve been chased away from the side of a depressed little brother who tried to commit suicide five days ago. I’d prefer to go about my day and pick up any assignments we’ve missed and probably  _ will _ miss for the foreseeable future. So if you could be so kind as to check me in so I can  _ go _ ?” 

The look of startled pity did not help his already frayed temper. It took only a minute for the slip of paper to print and be handed to him, but to Tadashi, it felt like an age had passed from the click of the mouse to the start up of the tiny little printer. 

“Thanks.” He said to the woman gruffly. He knew he was being uncharacteristically rude but at this point, Tadashi really just didn’t care. The bell rang just as he exited the office, pass in hand. A dark, forbidding scowl was on his face, and it appeared as though it would take a miracle to get it off again. That miracle came in the form of a beanie wearing geek who was too absorbed in his comic to really pay attention to where he was going. 

***

_ -But it was a trap! Her teammates had betrayed her! Midnight Disco was alone in the fight against her arch nemesis - the Grave Dr. Don Rule! Alone, Midnight Disco was at a loss for how to escape, but escape she must! For if Dr. Don Rule succeeded in his plans, the whole world would be under his mind control and darkness would overtake the hearts of mankind, outlawing all that was good and kind in the world - including love!  _

_ Struggling under the weight of despair, the superhero attempted to look for a solution. Eyes wide under her mask, her heart palpitating in her throat, she saw her way out! It was -  _

Fred Lee’s nose was squashed against a suddenly hard comic book, and he fell back with a startled yelp of “Holy Megazon!” 

The introduction of his butt to Mr. Ground was harsh and very, very painful. 

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was walking, are you alright?”A warm voice reached the comic geek’s ears, and wincing slightly, Fred looked up to see Perfection in human form. A strong jaw, warm brown eyes beautifully shaped by a dual heritage, and  _ mmmm _ … look at those broad shoulders… 

Fred blinked, finding that the guy he’d crashed into was waving a hand in front of his face, concern deeply entrenched in the other’s expression. Belatedly, Fred realized that he had been staring at the angel in a green jacket and shook his head to clear it. 

“I’m okay.” he assured the fellow teen he’d bumped into.  _ C’mon Fred, knock it off, your bisexual is showing!  _ he scolded himself.  _ You can’t oogle hot guys - especially when you crash into one of the most  _ delectable _ of samples -  _ NO!  _ Bad Fred! Bad! He’s probably got a girlfriend anyways. I mean, with features like  _ those _ who  _ wouldn’t  _ want a piece of that??? _

Back in the reality outside of Fred’s rather gooey thoughts, the subject of the comic book enthusiast’s mental compliments gave him an incredulous look and put out a hand to help Fred up. “If you say so. Anyways… I gotta go, I’m late and I need to pick up assignments from… Mrs. Peru.”

Fred’s eyes lit up as he got to his feet. “No way! This is like predestination! I’m headed that way too! Can I join you in your stroll towards her class?”  _ Please say yes, please say yes, you’re too beautiful for me to let go…  _

The other teen looked rather perplexed at his speaking mannerisms, but that was fine and dandy in Fred's book. The tall Japanese-American gave a shrug with those broad shoulders of his. “Eh, why not? I hardly know where any of my classrooms are anyways.” he said wryly. “ Haven’t been able to find them since I’ve been absent since the beginning of this term.” 

Fred was curious, but the dark look in the other’s eyes made him decide not to press the issue. Whatever the reason, it was pretty obvious that it was personal and Fred didn’t want to make the guy he’d just met angry. That would be like, totally not cool. 

They walked in the direction of Mrs. Peru’s class in a silence that wasn’t quite comfortable, but wasn’t awkward, either. It just… was. Fred actually enjoyed it. It wasn’t every day that he actually had someone just willing to be  _ by  _ him now that his  _ creeper  _ of a cousin had chased away any chance at having friends. Maybe he could actually win this guy over… 

Fred’s expression turned into one of both great wistfulness and self depreciation. Nah… this guy would never give him a second glance. He was lucky that the other was even letting him walk with him, what with all the nasty rumors that had been spread around and treated as truth by the school population in his cousin’s mad attempt of destroying any self esteem he had left. 

...it was kinda working. If this kid didn’t know… was completely oblivious to the rumors… then just maybe he had a chance at giving his phedophilic cousin his favorite finger, just by living the way  _ he  _ wanted to. Fred shivered, mind unconsciously brushing over a memory he kept down under lock and key. It made him sick to his stomach. 

“Hey, is this it?” Fred’s companion asked, breaking Fred out of his musings with a jerk. The comic book enthusiast looked at the numbers and nodded. “Yeah. We’re just in time too.” 

The second bell rang and Fred let out a sigh, squaring his shoulders. Great, time to face the music. It was a pity, because Creative Writing  _ should  _ have been one of his favorite classes, but because of the people in there… it wasn’t. 

Fred opened the door and beckoned his tentatively termed friend into the classroom with a flamboyant bow that nearly knocked off his beanie due to the laws of gravity still applying. The teen chuckled and then took in a deep breath, making Fred wonder if they sharing the experience of having an anxious feeling creating an upset stomach like he certainly was. 

Then Fred’s companion visibly took ahold of himself and entered the room, with Fred close behind. Fred’s blue eyes scanned the room and minutely relaxed when he found that no familiar blond head was seen bent over a desk. He was safe for a moment, then… 

“Tadashi! And Freddie, oh  _ little cousin _ of mine, I haven’t seen you since, what… three summers ago?” that familiar drawl made Fred flinch as his stomach dropped. His cousin’s voice might have been laced with sugary sweetness, but the teen knew the truth. 

So much for hoping that his cousin had disappeared and just dropped dead in a ditch… Fred stiffened completely as an arm was casually draped over his shoulders and hooked slightly around his neck, an unwelcome weight on his left side. 

But Fred's heart settled as a much more uncomfortable weight in his stomach as it plummeted from his ribcage as it dropped out of his ribcage and into his stomach. His blue eyes grew wide as he stared at the tall broad shouldered Japanese-American that he’d walked with and he felt his breath catch in his throat, because this kid…. this beautiful angel that had let him - an unworthy and quite frankly strange mortal - walk in his divine footsteps… this model of humanity made perfect… was his phedophilic cousin’s best friend? 

Fred wanted to curl up into a ball and rip out his long blond hair. This wasn’t fair! How could someone of such… such…  _ nobility _ be friends with a guy who - Fred shuddered, swallowing thickly as the dark memory surged up from behind it’s padlocked prison to slam at the steel door. 

Fred’s angel ( _ Tadashi, his name was Tadashi! The guy HE’D been mooning over just because he  _ could _ )  _ turned around, confused for only a second as his beautiful brown eyes lit up at the sight of his cousin ( _ please, no… _ a little voice cried, sounding so young and absolutely  _ terrified _ ). 

“Hey Thomas! Oh, hey… you’re Thomas’ cousin? Freddie, right?” 

Fred wished for a superpower that could melt him into the floor and never return him to solid form ever again. “It’s Fred, actually….” he said quietly. 

***

Tadashi blinked, before a sheepish smile spread across his face. “Sorry, Fred. Wow! All that time walking, and we totally forgot to introduce each other!” he laughed, rubbing his neck with his hand. 

Fred smiled, but it turned out to be more of a grimace as Thomas seemed to  _ lean _ a little too much on his younger cousin. Tadashi’s sheepish emotions sluggishly stirred into a mild form of worry. 

But before Tadashi could ask if everything was alright, Fred elbowed his cousin sharply in the ribcage with a hissed “I thought I told you that I  _ hated _ people touching me!” 

Thomas let out a pained wheeze and backed away far enough to be out of Fred’s range. “I think three years managed to erase that memory,  _ Freddie _ .” 

The two cousins glared at each other and Tadashi frowned, something niggling at the back of his mind. Before he could fully expound on the thought, a woman with dark, reddish brown hair called the class to attention. Roll call began as students scrambled to find their seats. 

As luck would have it, Tadashi had been placed in between both Fred  _ and  _ Thomas. Mrs. Peru gave him a strange look, a well known hilarity and a reason why so many students were excited to be in her class. It was obvious she wasn’t expecting anyone to fill the gap.

Tadashi weakly waved the pass in the air and stretched forth his long arm so she didn’t have to go too far, then sat back with a wince as her face contorted into one of sympathy. It didn’t make him angry, though, there was something in her eyes that made it seem like she wasn’t looking down on him. Maybe it was because she didn’t know what family emergency it had been but still, that sympathy that told of a kindred spirit took his breath away. 

Mrs. Peru nodded solemnly at him and he nodded back, just as solem. “It’s good to have you in class, Mr. Hamada.” 

Tadashi’s throat closed in on him and he coughed slightly before whispering a quiet “Thanks”. 

“Alright! Time for Good News Minute! Anyone want to share?” Mrs. Peru called, and a sudden flurry of hands raising made her snort. “Well it must have been a good two days!”

She called on a bespectacled girl that Tadashi hardly recognized. “U-Um… I’m glad Tadashi’s back.” she nearly whispered. Tadashi winced, mind flashing back to red flashing in the night and his blood soaked hands. He ached, suddenly and desperately finding the need to hold his little brother close and listen to his heartbeat, just to reassure himself that Hiro hadn’t dropped dead when he wasn’t looking. But Hiro was at the hospital, sleeping in the care of Aunt Cass, and Tadashi was at school. 

Tadashi wasn’t glad he was back. 

There was a sudden chorus of agreements from the class and Tadashi flinched back as some of the guys (Thomas included) slapped him on the back, cheering. Once, Tadashi would have smiled and laughed at all the affection but now it took all his strength to not jerk away. How many of these guys knew of the videos, how many had said hurtful things to his little brother, in person or behind a blocked out name and face? Tadashi couldn’t trust any of them. Not anymore. 

A hesitant hand gently brushed against Tadashi’s shoulder and the sixteen year old jerked and glanced over at Thomas’ younger cousin who was staring at him with concerned blue eyes. 

“You okay?” Fred whispered as another student announced that they too were glad for Tadashi’s return to the school. 

Tadashi shook his head and breathed slowly through his nose. “Not really, but I will be.”  _ Eventually. _

Fred nodded but his eyes remained solemn. “Okay… I’m here if you need anything, just to let you know.” he told his neighbor in a serious whisper so quiet that Tadashi had to lean in to hear it. 

“Thanks Fred, it means alot to me.” Tadashi said just as quietly, sensing Fred’s wish to remain near silent. 

Suddenly, Thomas surged upwards, “Mrs. Peru, can I go to the bathroom, it’s an emergency.” the seventeen year old senior said with a face contorted into a grimace. Tadashi heard Fred snort under his breath and felt his own eyebrow raise. So soon into the beginning of class? Really? 

Mrs. Peru pursed her lips into a pouting frown as she examined the trouble making teen, but just from his entire body language, it looked like he truly and honestly needed to use the restroom. And so she let him go. He never returned to class. Mrs. Peru should have known better, but alas, it was not to be that day. 

***

Tadashi stormed down the halls like an avenging angel. Fred ran to catch up with him, his breath coming in short gasps. 

“Tadashi! Tadashi... wait!” he called, struggling in the crowd that followed in the tall teen’s wake. “Tadashi!” 

But Tadashi didn’t stop, and so Fred had to run and dodge those who were also following their Science Star to whoever had pissed him off  _ this  _ time. The halls were silent, a strange, scary thing for Fred as the halls were  _ never  _ silent in a crowd. Something had set Tadashi off right as they were walking to the lunchroom, and now, Fred was here and chasing after a boy he’d only known for about an hour and thirty minutes. 

The sea of faces followed like a swarm, silent and breathless, and Fred cursed the fact that Tadashi was so far into a headspace that his voice couldn’t even be heard, even  _ with  _ the silence! 

Suddenly, the crowd stopped moving, and Fred nearly crashed into someone’s back due to the flow coming to an end. Now, the teen really had to push and shove. He scowled darkly and started using his sharp bony elbows to make Fred-shaped room in the crowd. “Tadashi!” he called as a sudden rising cheer sent chills up his spine. “Tadashi!” 

What was going  _ on _ ! Fred finally managed to squeeze himself to the front of the crowd and froze as he found himself at the edge of a great circle. 

Tadashi had a freshman pinned to one of the lockers, arm digging into the teen’s throat. Fred flinched back as memories black as deepest night rammed into the doors guarding him from a full on panic attack.  _ No, no, no, no, no, no!  _ he thought frantically. From what he’d seen in Creative Writing, this  _ wasn’t _ the normal Tadashi. 

This Tadashi scared him, while the normal Tadashi made him feel… well…  _ safe  _ was the only word he could think of that would accurately sum up the boy he had only known for a short while. 

The freshman was sobbing and gasping for air. Fred glanced over at Tadashi’s face and flinched again. It was completely distorted by hate and anger. 

Suddenly, Fred felt a calmness rush over him. He had to get the normal Tadashi back. This Tadashi didn’t belong here. It would destroy the true Tadashi inside if he wasn’t snapped out of it  _ now _ . 

Fred took a steadying breath and tentatively stepped forwards. 

***

So this was the one who had caused his little brother so much  _ pain. _ Tadashi stared down at the wheezing and crying  _ worm _ as he pressed his arm into his windpipe. It was the only thing keeping him pinned and off the ground. 

“You nearly killed my little brother.” Tadashi informed the worm, digging his arm into trembling flesh a little harder as the fury swelled in his chest like a bellow stoking a forge. 

“H-Hammada d-don’t!” the insect pleaded through choking gasps, the tears making its eyes grow red and puffy. 

Tadashi pulled the worm closer, fisting his hand into its collar and pulling it up higher so it could stare into his eyes. “Do I look  _ merciful _ to you?” he questioned coldly. The worm shook its head frantically, tears still leaking out of it’s puffy eyes. Tadashi continued, “I nearly lost the only link to my old family because of you and your little maggot cronies.” 

Suddenly he slammed the little worm back into the lockers, making it’s head slam into the hollow structures with a cry and a clang of bone meeting metal. “The only reason you aren’t lying at my feet and dead, is because my little brother still breathes, maggot.” Tadashi breathed into the maggot worm’s ear. 

It began to sob harder. Tadashi didn’t care for it’s signs of weakness. It deserved to be scared. It deserved to feel the pain his little brother went through. It deserved  _ none  _ of his mercy. He would make the little maggot wish it  _ had  _ died at his hand. 

Tadashi pulled back a fist and the maggot whimpered, closing its eyes. But the blow never came. 

“TADASHI! STOP!” 

Thin hands grasped at Tadashi’s upraised fist and tugged, then tugged harder as the sixteen year old resisted. The maggot fell to the ground, gasping for breath. 

“Tadashi, I know you’re in there but you’ve got to  _ stop this _ ! He’s not worth it!”

“Like hell he isn’t!” Tadashi snarled, batting at the hands that held him back. “He deserves to go rot in the pits of Hell! He’s the one responsible for my brother being in the hospital, too depressed to even accept the idea of living in this miserable hellhole! And I can’t blame him when we have bastards like these maggots swarming the halls of what’s supposed to be a safe campus! A place where we can all learn together in peace!” Tadashi let loose a hysterical, angry laugh. “What a  _ riot _ ! A safe campus? Really? It’s bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit! My little brother was drugged up to the gills in a hospital bed for  _ two days straight _ , just so he wouldn’t jump out the fucking window!” 

Tadashi tried to kick at the worm, but the hands dragged him back and out of range. “It’s all his fault!” Tadashi screamed, the tears suddenly falling when they had refused to do so before. “It’s all his fault that our family is scrambling to pick up the pieces! We nearly became two instead of three and I would be the only Hamada  _ left _ ! Did you want that, you little bastard, did you want his blood on your hands!?” 

“It’s not  _ our  _ fault that he’s such a frickin’ brain! I mean, come on, that kid obviously thought he was hot stuff, to come to a high school when he  _ should _ have just stayed home until he was ready! Hiro’s the one at fault!” a kid shouted from out of Tadashi’s vision and the arms around his middle tightened as he fought to become upright again. 

“Tadashi, no!” another voice yelled, and suddenly, long hair was tickling his neck as he was engulfed in a hug. “No matter how angry you are,  _ it’s not worth it!  _ You’ll get suspended and where will that get you? Look at it from a different angle, there’s always another way!” 

Tadashi took in a deep, shuddering breath, about to continue fighting when the words pierced his heart, which had hardened with anger.  _ Another angle?  _ the teen thought dimly, growing limp as he stared at the teen who lay before him, gasping for breath and clutching at his abused throat. 

_ A protector is one who guards all, Tadashi. I know you have a warrior’s spirit, but use that spirit to the benefit of all who come under your watch. Do not act out of anger, but out of compassion. When spurned, offer a hand of kindness. In return, you will receive something better than anything anger can afford, for anger brings with it enemies too hard to defeat.  _

Tadashi bowed his head, the tears falling hot and fast as his father’s words came to him. He had failed. Like always. But still… there was a better way, one that would not have to deal with violence. 

“Let me go, Fred.” Tadashi whispered, eyes slowly clearing of tears. Fred flinched and clung tighter to him. 

“Are you going to go berserk again? Cause, I-I mean… that was scary as hell, man…” Fred finally admitted. 

Tadashi let out a huff and patted Fred on the hand. “I won’t, I promise.” 

And so, with due cause for hesitation, Fred let go of Tadashi and allowed him to get to his feet. 

The crowd was silent as they watched their emotionally wrecked Science Star stand up from where he had been dragged away, and held their breaths. What would Hamada do next?

Tadashi approached the trembling freshman, who was curled up in a ball, and stopped a few paces away before he crouched down. “Andrews. You better thank Fred, he saved your life.” the teen said coldly. “But you haven’t escaped jail and aren’t allowed to run around with a new twenty in your pocket, because you know what? I’m going to sue the pants off you. You nearly killed my brother by attempting to drown him in toilet water. And I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of  _ other  _ bits of evidence that you’ve carelessly tossed away. I promise you this, Andrews, I will find them and I will crush you with them.” 

Tadashi stood up, and turned to walk away. 

“Tadashi, look out!” Fred’s cry of warning and the crowd’s dismayed yells were the only warnings that the teen needed before he was spinning around and the pocket knife in Andrew’s hand went flying. The freshman clutched at his stinging hand with a yowl before he lunged at Tadashi, who still had his leg outstretched. 

But Tadashi was as fluid as a snake and darted around as Andrews overshot and merely stuck out his other foot to trip the kid. The kid fell with a harsh thud, and Tadashi had him pinned. 

“I wouldn’t move if I were you.” Tadashi warned, a dark smile on his lips. “You just messed up in front of the whole school board.” he tsked. “Bringing a knife onto school grounds, such a shame… to nearly stab another student with it as well… well… that’s grounds for expulsion too. So, I’d just make it easier on yourself and give in.” 

Andrews slumped to the floor and cursed. 

Tadashi looked up and saw Fred give him a tiny nod before the crowd suddenly surged around them and the teachers were yelling at the students to back up and get away. They had this covered. 

The boy smirked to himself. Revenge, no matter what form, was rather sweet. 


	18. Chapter 18

After the whirlwind of testimonies from the teachers ( who almost eagerly pitched in to vouch for Tadashi’s side of the story), Andrews found himself the recipient of a suspension from school. And on his record, unlikely to ever go away, was a deep, black-as-ink smudge. Tadashi wanted the brat expelled, but with the evidence stacked the way it was, suspension for a week was as good as he was going to get. 

That wasn’t what had him pacing a trench in the lunchroom floor, though. Oh, no. It was the worry that Aunt Cass had left his poor baby brother alone with only doctors to periodically check him. What if he escaped his room and they didn’t find him until it was too late? What if Hiro was able to find something that would actually  _ hurt  _ him??? What if he - 

A thin hand suddenly grasped around the crook of his elbow, halting Tadashi mid-step. 

“You’re streshing. Shtop it.” Fred said through a mouthful of powdered donut. His jaw moved comically up and down as he tried to force the food into smaller pieces. His lips and cheeks were covered in the resulting white powder. The boy’s adam apple bobbed as he swallowed, and then, opening his mouth as if to say something, Fred reached over to the nearly empty pack of mini-powdered donuts and shoved more food into his mouth. 

Tadashi stared, slightly awed by the display of such a ferocious appetite. A sudden flash of Hiro’s cheeks puffing out, mouth filled to burst with gummy bears made him sink into the seat next to Fred, head buried in his hands. Fred’s frantic chewing of the powdered donuts slowed to a contemplative stop as he turned his head to observe his friend. 

The blond’s voice was muffled by the food still in his mouth but the high trace amounts of concern were obvious. “Tadahi? Khrm.” the boy coughed, swallowing the food and clearing his throat. “Tadashi, what’s wrong? You okay, man?” 

Tadashi slumped in on himself a bit more at the verbal prodding, his entire posture screaming pure misery. The rage that had made his hands shake and his veins burn was long gone, leaving a coldness in Tadashi’s chest that he had no way of recovering from at the moment. The only cure for the dark hollow feeling was cuddles from his precious little brother (despite all the squirming and shouting that would result from his attempts). Unfortunately, he was exiled to school for the time being, and he still had three hours (more, if you counted the time it took to transfer between classes) until he could leave. The ache was driving him insane. 

"If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know." Fred hesitantly patted his back (Tadashi assumed it was because of the powder that covered his fingers).

The Japanese-American glanced up, considering the offer carefully for a moment as an idea crept into his mind. A smile grew on his face and his brown eyes twinkling with untold mischief. He turned to Fred. “How do your parents feel about you skipping class?”

“Well I’m only here for my family’s publicity. They wouldn’t care, as long I wasn’t caught doing it.” He looked sideways at Tadashi, suddenly suspicious. “... _ why _ ?” 

*** 

Hiro stretched out his legs as far as they could go, sighing at the lovely burn of stretching muscles.  _ This is nice. No Tadashi to squash my legs, no Aunt Cass hovering at my side… I could stay like this forever…  _

_ Do do do-do do do do-do do-nyernerner…. nyernerner… do do!  _

Hiro blinked at the faint noise. It sounded very familiar… Almost like a  _ theme _ of some sort… 

_ Do do do-do do do do-do do- _

Hiro’s brow creased and he sat up. “Is that…” he looked over at the door as the noise grew louder. “Is that the theme to  _ Mission Impossible _ ?” 

Through the small window, the hospitalized boy could see a teal beanie on top of a head bobbing in time to the music. The head paused. And suddenly blue eyes were peeking into his hospital room. Hiro stared back confusedly as the head suddenly disappeared, just as he was about to make eye contact. 

_ -nyernnerner… nyernerner… do do! _

The twelve year old blinked and rubbed at his eyes. He must have been dreaming. That was it… he was asleep, on the bed. Because whatever that was… it was just  _ weird _ . 

The theme from Mission Impossible faded into the distance and Hiro was left to flop down on the crinkly hospital bed. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He was drifting off to sleep (a dream within a dream, wasn’t that funny?) when he heard it again. 

_ Do do do-do do…  _ Hiro shot up so fast that his head spun as his gaze slammed to the door. Sure enough, the teal beanie was back, bobbing to the music. Hiro’s eyes narrowed skeptically.  _ What in the world? _ he wondered, a sneaking suspicion rising. 

Blue eyes once more peered into the room and then ducked down just as fast as they appeared. 

Hiro put his chin in his hand, fingers curling slightly over a pursed mouth. He reminded himself that he needed to breathe and took in a breath accordingly. Now who would send someone to come stalk him. He, who was safely hospitalized in a room practically guarded by doctors????  _ I wonder _ . 

Again, the music dissipated into silence. Hiro didn’t move from his sitting position, the covers pooling around his waist. His brown eyes were glued to the small window, waiting. 

It was about ten minutes later that he heard it once more. This time, Hiro was ready.  _ Do do…  _

As soon as the amazing bouncing teal beanie was in view, Hiro  _ glared _ . The minute the blue eyes peeked into the room, the boy locked gazes with his stalker and just stared intensely at the interloper. The blue eyes’ bouncing froze, becoming wide. Hiro brought his hands up and mimed strangling something. 

The blue eyes vanished suddenly and then there was a rather loud  _ crash _ ! A terrible high-pitched screech followed. “ABORT! ABORT! MISSION ABORT! COVER IS BLOWN! THE TARGET HAS SPOTTED THE AGENT! I REPEAT, COVER IS BLOWN!” 

The Mission Impossible theme had been permanently silenced and a ringing absence of noise met Hiro’s ears. The boy stared at his door and then clutched at his dark hair in frustration. 

“TADASHI!!!!!!” he screamed into the silence. His older brother was going to  _ pay  _ for sicking one of his friends on him! 

***

Fred raced down the hallway and to the elevator, heart pounding. Tadashi’s kid brother sure had a  _ scary  _ glare! He was cute and adorable with that bird’s nest of hair atop his head, but in all honesty, Fred really didn’t wanna mess with him! Plus, the kid had spotted him peeping in, and that meant his cover had been blown! 

He hit the button for the ground floor a little harder than necessary, but no one was around to notice. Which meant no one had seen the embarrassing fall he’d performed when he’d pushed himself backwards off the door. The teenager tapped his foot anxiously, watching the numbers rise to the floor he was on. He kinda wanted to go home now… better yet, to see Tadashi again, even if it was just to tell him that his brother was scary as a demon when bothered and that the kid was fine. 

The elevator dinged and Fred was relieved to see that it was empty. It would make his retreat much easier to bear. He clambered inside and spent the descent jittery and bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

When the elevator dinged again, he sprinted out and was headed directly for the doors when a familiar face caused him to freeze and his stomach to lurch sickeningly. 

His cousin was just entering the lobby, a bouquet of Forget-Me-Not’s clenched in his off hand.

Heart pounding in his throat, Fred slowly stalked over to his cousin but made sure to stop at least three feet away cautiously. “Thomas.” he managed, trying to choke back the panic rising in his throat. “What are you  _ doing  _ here?” He was pretty sure that none of his relatives were sick… He  _ did _ kept close tabs on all of his aunts and uncles. After all, it was best to be on top of things. People liked that. Or at least… that’s what dear  _ Mother _ said. 

Thomas grinned, a sickeningly sweet thing. “Hello, Freddie~.” he cooed. “I’m just bringing my mom some flowers since she’s been sick with a pretty bad fever.”

Fred’s blue eyes narrowed. “You liar. Aunt Clarisa isn’t even on the registry.” he jabbed his hand back at the said sign of people in the care of the San Fransokyo Hospital. “So tell me, what are you really here for, Thomas?” 

“Ever think that she’s in a  _ private room _ , Freddie?” Thomas said with narrowed eyes. “Your mom could easily have funded it for us. And you would never know because Aunt Chrissy just  _ loves  _ keeping you in the dark~.” 

Fred swallowed, eyes narrowing as a surge of pure anger swept him up and took his breath away. He wanted to punch his cousin so badly, to make his nose as crooked as his personality.  _ No. _ the sixteen year old thought in a moment of clarity.  _ I won’t let him drag me to his level _ . 

“That may be so, but I make it a point to look after our family, Thomas. That’s more than I can say for you.” Fred was relieved that his voice didn’t shake. 

Thomas snorted. “Whatever. Anyways, who I visit is none of your business!” he scowled, moving to sidestep his little cousin. 

Fred stepped with him, blocking his way to the elevators. “It is when I know what you get up to.” he said quietly, swallowing thickly. “I won’t let you go any farther.” 

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “And make a scene out where everyone can see?” he asked skeptically. Fred flinched and Thomas laughed. “Knew you’d be a coward about this too.” 

Fred didn’t look him in the eye, knowing that Thomas was right. He  _ was  _ a coward. The seventeen-nearly eighteen year old snorted, stepping towards Fred. Fred took an involuntary step back, mind struggling with a bit of an escaped memory.  _ Hot breath ghosted across his neck _ -

When Fred was able to rip his mind from the past and back into the present, Thomas was already nearing the elevators. The sixteen year old swore and ran as hard as he could to catch his cousin before he made it to the inner floors of the hospital. 

Thomas was smirking at something on the old, out-dated flip phone in his dominant hand and Fred pushed himself a little harder so he could reach him in time. A thin hand grabbed the phone and ripped it out of the owner’s unsuspecting grasp. 

“HEY!” the elder cousin snarled, whirling on the younger, who quickly backtracked. 

_ Ohhh, this is a baaad idea! _ Fred realized frantically, spinning around and racing towards the front doors. His breath was coming in short gasps and he thought that his chest might just melt off of his ribs, they burned so bad! 

The sixteen year old burst through the doors and ran down the sidewalk, diving into the crowded streets. He found himself struggling upstream, and from the curses behind him, Fred knew Thomas had dived right in after him. The knowledge spurred him to used his elbows to make push and shove the unsuspecting passerby. It wasn’t long before he reached a lull in traffic, and Fred ran at full speed to the nearby park. There, no one would witness the clash between family. 

Fred chanced a glance behind him and found that Thomas had slowed to a leisurely walk, hands jammed in his pockets. The bouquet of Forget-Me-Not’s were long gone. Despite his cousin’s slower pace, Fred didn’t stop running until he had reached a thick tree and ducked behind it. He glanced at the picture on the phone that had started the chase and felt his heart  _ stop _ . Bile rose in his throat and Fred had to swallow several times to actually keep it down. Its acidic taste burned his throat. 

“Freddie, give me my phone.” Thomas had arrived, and his sweet yet dark voice made the sixteen year old shudder. 

“You’re  _ sick _ .” Fred whispered, shaking. He refused to turn around and face the other. “You’re so messed up in the head you don’t even get how  _ sick  _ you are.” 

“Freddie. Give. Me. My Phone.” 

Fred whirled around, eyes wild. He held the phone delicately in two hands. “I’d be a fool to let you have it.” he snarled, and with a  _ snap!  _ the flip phone lay in two sparking pieces on the ground. Thomas let out an angered snarl as Fred stomped his foot down. The crunch of delicate metal underneath his feet sent a savage wave of satisfaction down Fred’s chest. But that sensation was quickly knocked out of him as Thomas lunged at Fred. 

Fred turned tail and fled, hand digging for his own phone and hitting his most common speed dial. 

“Heathcliff! I need you to pick me up! It’s an emergency!” he wheezed and risked a glance over his shoulder, picking up the pace when he discovered his enraged cousin again chasing him, a new fire in his eyes. “Use the GPS on my phone, I don’t care how, just do it!” and with that, he hung up, focused only on escaping.

Though out of breath and nearly out of time, Fred felt a sense of pleasure wash over him. He was  _ glad _ he’d snapped the disgusting male’s phone. He shouldn’t have had a picture of Hiro on it. He was only twelve. ...just like he had been… 

His wish at the time had come true, and he suddenly felt very, very horrible.


	19. Chapter 19

Hiro idly bounced his leg, glancing up towards the door every so often as he waited. He couldn’t wait to leave this place… It had been a long, trying month for the twelve year old. Despite the wound from his suicide attempt being healed, the doctors had kept him at the hospital for limited observation at the request of Aunt Cass (most likely because Tadashi would’ve never left him alone otherwise). 

They apparently thought that he would cut again if he was released too early (They were right.) Sometimes he would catch himself considering it, weighing the pros and cons, the consequences for when (not if,  _ when _ . He was in the psychiatric ward of the hospital but he wasn’t  _ stupid _ . He knew they’d find out somehow.) he got caught. Those brief moments of dark consideration gave him a rush of  _ something else  _ that was… well… he didn’t exactly  _ know _ the word for it. Those thoughts only occurred in the dark of night, where he could consider them fully after he had been checked on for the night. 

Ultimately, despite the dark thoughts swimming in his head, Hiro stayed far, far away from acting upon them. Did  _ anyone  _ know how hard it was to cut the waffles they served in this prison? Did they?! If they had taken away his plastic knives because he had been stupid and gave into those urges, he probably would have murdered someone in a bout of frustration-induced rage. Those waffles were like stone, you had to chip away at it just to get a bite sized piece.

But that was all in the past now, a month in the past, in fact! All that time spent resisting the dark pull had paid off! 

The prospect of seeing the sky and feeling a real sea breeze made him almost giddy with an emotion he hadn’t felt in a long time. He was excited to remind himself what freedom tasted like. Now if only Aunt Cass would hurry up and sign him out… 

The boy flopped down on the hospital bed that had been his for a month and groaned dramatically. How long could one person take to sign some stupid forms?! 

Bored to tears and impatience rising up to bubble out of his mouth in muffled yet tellingly frustrated groans, Hiro grabbed his pillow and plonked it over his face. The boy started wiggling, his momentum causing him to roll back and forth as the levels of his boredom rose to ever higher heights. 

“Hiro? Aunt Cass is done with the… papers?” Hiro froze, one foot in the air as Tadashi’s familiar voice trailed into the realm of mass confusion. The twelve year old just  _ knew  _ Tadashi had a weird look on his face, he could tell by how his older brother had slowed down his words. 

“Hi ‘Dashi…” he mumbled into the pillow, slowly putting his foot down and refusing to look at his older brother, lest he burst out laughing. 

“So… ready to get out of here?” Tadashi asked, and the awkwardness in his tone actually made giggles rise all the way to Hiro’s throat. He managed to swallow them before they could escape and spawn more of their kind. That would make it  _ really _ hard for him to breathe. 

Knowing that if he opened his mouth right then, he would start laughing and never stop, Hiro just let out an agreeing mumble that was muffled by the pillow in answer to the question. The sound of his older brother’s shoes scuffling against the floor reached the boy’s ears but he paid little mind to the noise. That was until he found the pillow being unceremoniously jerked away from his face. His startled brown eyes met the amused gaze of his older brother. 

“And I thought you would be jumping at the bit to get out of here.” Tadashi mused, fluffing the pillow absentmindedly as Hiro swung himself back up into a sitting position. 

“Yeah, yeah…” the boy giggled, before slapping his hands over his mouth, brown eyes wide. Tadashi raised an eyebrow, the humor in his eyes causing them to glint strangely. The older Hamada set the pillow down on the bed and curled his hands into claws. Hiro’s eyes widened even further and he dashed off the bed with a squeak as Tadashi lunged. 

“Nooo! Tada _ shi _ !!!!” the boy howled, laughter light and free as his older brother raced after him, growling in an imitation of a tickle monster. 

“RAWR!” Tadashi laughed, “I’m gonna get you, Hiro!” In accordance with his declaration, the elder Hamada dove for his younger brother and managed to scoop him up in his arms. 

“Nii-san!” Hiro protested, squealing as Tadashi’s fingers found one of the sensitive spots on his side. “N-No! I’m ticklish there!” 

“That’s the point knucklehead.” Tadashi teased, poking that spot again and enjoying the childish glee at hearing his little brother squeal with laughter. Hiro squirmed in his hold, giggles spilling out without his permission as he fought his older brother’s onslaught. 

“M- _ Meanie _ !” the boy wailed with a hiccuping laugh as he wriggled. “You’re so me- _ mean _ , Nii-san!” 

Tadashi grinned down at his little brother, fingers working their magic to draw out those beautiful bells of laughter from his little chest. “No I’m not.” he protested as his fingers made Hiro squeal and giggle until he couldn’t breathe. 

“Y-yes you are!” Hiro gasped. “Tadashi -  _ s-stop _ !” he pleaded as another peal of laughter escaped his mouth. 

Tadashi’s eyes narrowed. “What’s the magic word?” he drawled lazily, fingers poking all of the sensitive spots on his ribs. The teenager made sure to hold on tight as his little brother tried to squirm away from his tormentor with another giggling squeal. 

“ _ P-please? _ ” Hiro said breathlessly, his giggles turning the answer into a question. 

Tadashi pondered for a moment, and then nodded. He poked Hiro’s side one last time before he released his little  brother. Hiro crumpled to the floor in a mess of limbs as giggles and gasps shook his tiny frame.

Once his breath had been recovered and he had calmed down, Hiro got up and frowned up at his older brother in what was more like a pout than a frown. “Very  _ funny _ , Nii-san.” 

Tadashi grinned down at his little brother and ruffled his fluffy hair. “ I thought so, too. ” he agreed, ignoring the sarcasm that laced Hiro’s tone. “C’mon, Aunt Cass is waiting down in the lobby.” 

And it was then that Hiro remembered the reason that he had been so bored waiting in the first place. “Oh yeah!” he gasped, looking at the open door with growing excitement. “I have  _ FREEDOM AGAIN!”  _ the boy cheered, before glancing up at Tadashi with a gleam all his own. A small smirk found itself on the youth’s lips. 

Tadashi only had seconds to catch on before Hiro shot forwards with a laughing cry of “Race you, Nii-san!” 

“Hiro! We shouldn’t race in a hospital!” Tadashi spluttered, but it was too late. Hiro was already out the door. With little choice, the elder Hamada was forced to tear out of the room and catch up with his little speed demon of a brother, who was already five doors down the hall. 

“HIRO! STOP!” 

“CAN’T CATCH ME, NII-SAN!” came the resulting cackle as the boy turned abruptly around a corner. 

Tadashi growled but increased his pace and speed accordingly as his brotherly pride was stomped on by the sass of his little brother. “Oh I’ll  _ give  _ you a race, you little…” the sixteen year old grumbled as he pushed himself off the wall to help change directions. 

Oh yes… the little brat was going to get what was coming to him…

***

Days passed, and Hiro found himself wanting to scream in frustration. He hadn’t known it, but he ended up trading one prison for another (slightly more comfortable) one when he returned home. Tadashi and Aunt Cass probably didn't think that they made it so, but their over protectiveness drove Hiro up the wall and made him want to tear his hair out. 

So many times had he gone down to grab something only to be shooed back up! It was enough to make an adult crazy, let alone a twelve year old struggling to find himself. Hiro was left feeling restless and very, very annoyed. 

Such was his situation now. An overbearing Tadashi was incoming at his two o'clock, an overly cheerful grin plastered on his face. 

"Hiro~!" The older teen practically cooed and Hiro turned sharply on his heel, mind screaming,  _ NOPE, NOPE, NOPE. NO THANK YOU, GO CUDDLE SOMEONE ELSE, YOU BIG NERD!  _ He was nearly at the foot of the stairs when large, warm arms encircled his waist. 

"Tadashi, get  _ off! _ " Hiro yelped, feet kicking in mid air as he found himself squished in a huge bear hug. "Let me go!" 

Tadashi nuzzled his little brother, cheek rubbing against his fluffy hair. "But I've  _ missed _ you!" He said. Hiro let out a hiss, hands practically claws as he tried to pry his brother's arms off of his person. 

"Get. Off. Tadashi." Hiro growled, his nails digging into Tadashi's skin. Tadashi remained steadfast. 

"Nope~." Tadashi cooed, hugging Hiro tighter to his chest. "I haven't seen you  _ all day _ , it's been  _ forever... _ " 

"It's only been six hours, Tadashi. Not 'forever'." Hiro protested, wriggling and curling up so Tadashi had to carry all of his weight. 

Unfortunately, Tadashi was the kind of brother who could hold him at a moment's notice, and so that tactic only allowed the elder Hamada to sling him around to plop both of them on the family couch. Tadashi loosened his grip slightly to grab the TV remote and Hiro took the opportunity to make a break for it. 

Tadashi's ninja reflexes - refined by years and years of karate practice- allowed him to snap out and grab Hiro's wrist. The resulting tug sent him sprawling back onto Tadashi's lap. 

" _ Tadashi _ . Let. Me. Go." Hiro hissed, glaring at everything. 

Tadashi let out a noncommittal hum and merely turned on the TV. This left Hiro hissing his displeasure as he made another vain attempt at squirming away from his brother's iron grip. 

The boy flopped against his captor in relative defeat. "Tadashi, why are you making me watch your stupid nerd shows?"

“Because you’ll just go upstairs by yourself and sulk.” came the distracted reply. Hiro bristled. 

“I do  _ not,  _ ‘sulk’! I ponder. Deeply.”

“And that’s sulking.” Tadashi poked his little brother’s cheek, making him scowl and bat the offending appendage away. 

“Is not.” Hiro knew he was pouting. 

“Is too.” Tadashi flipped through the channels, trying to figure out what to watch. 

“Is  _ not _ !” 

“Hiro when you sit in a corner and glare at everything,  _ that’s  _ sulking. You sulk. A lot. So I’m distracting you from your sulkiness.” 

Hiro growled but said nothing, arms folded across his chest. Tadashi snorted, poking him in the side. The growl transitioned into a high pitched squeak as the boy jerked away from the offender. 

“Tadashi!” 

Tadashi played clueless. “What?” 

“You poked me!” Hiro scowled. 

“No I didn’t.” Tadashi laughed. “What are you talking about, Hiro?”

“You. Poked. Me.” Hiro jabbed Tadashi’s arm with a finger for emphasis.

“So what if I did, whatcha gonna do about it?” the elder Hamada teased goodnaturedly. His humor quickly faded as Hiro flinched, mind flashing to a similar sentence in a far harsher context. 

Tadashi let go of his little brother and watched with worried eyes as Hiro scrambled off to the far end of the couch. The boy curled up into a ball, shivering from memories and a chill that had no place in the warmth of their home. 

Tadashi slowly got up and knelt by his little brother. “Hey…” the sixteen year old swallowed drily. “Hiro… You aren’t there anymore.”

“Shut up! Leave me alone!” Hiro lashed out, voice thick. “Leave me  _ alone… _ ”

“Not happening, bonehead.” Tadashi refrained from touching his little brother and settled down on his knees for the long haul. “I’m staying right here. You’re safe now. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you like that again.”

Hiro curled in tighter on himself. A part of him heard Tadashi speaking, but the other half of him was still yelling in fear and desperation, focused only on the rush of  _ no, no, no, no! Don’t do this PLEASE! I can’t breathe… I can’t breath! I’m going to drown… Someone, HELP ME!  _

“Hiro. You’re at home. You’re  _ safe _ . ” 

Hiro’s breath hitched as tears streamed down his face. “T-Tada…” he sobbed and Tadashi scooped his little brother up loosely in his arms. 

“Shhh… you’re safe now, Hiro. They won’t hurt you again. I promise.” Tadashi soothed as trembling hands latched onto his shirt. 

“B-but they  _ did _ and… and I can’t forget it!” Hiro whispered. “I want to forget! I want to forget it all and never be bothered by it again!” 

Tadashi let out a hum as he carded his fingers through Hiro’s hair. “If you forgot, then what could you learn from it?”

Hiro pushed himself out of Tadashi’s grasp and the older teen let him go even as his heart ached at the motion. 

“‘ _ Learn from it _ ’? What can I ‘ _ learn _ ’ from being forced onto my knees and having my head dunked in a  _ dirty toilet _ ?” the boy asked his elder with a dark grimace on his face. “What can I  _ learn _ by being shoved into lockers and having to pick my way out?! Tell me Tadashi! What can I learn from all of that!?” 

Tadashi shut his eyes and attempted to swallow the lump that resurfaced whenever Hiro mentioned what had happened to him. “That’s something you have to figure out yourself. It’s your journey and the way you handle your experiences defines who you are.”

Hiro let out an aggravated hiss and stood up. “That’s a load of crap, Tadashi.” he said bitterly. “Stop trying to be wise when you’re not.”

Tadashi winced but conceded the point. “I…” the teen paused, biting his lip. His expression lowered. “I don’t have all the answers, Hiro… I don’t know why…” he had to swallow again as the lump grew. “I don’t know. I don’t know alot of things, especially why people do the horrible things they do. I just know that we try to reason and try to make things seem like they hurt less, when in reality… When in reality, they really just hurt more when you try to explain them away.” 

Hiro scowled, cheeks still wet from the previous tears. “Why does life have to hurt so much?” he asked sullenly, sitting down on the floor by Tadashi. 

Tadashi settled for a shrug and found that Hiro’s tense shoulders had relaxed when no words came. His heart sunk, but at the same time rose up to greater heights. The conflicting sensations left the sixteen year old rather confused. He wanted to help Hiro… and yet his words weren’t welcome. But maybe his silence could help where his words obviously didn’t? 

The silence between the two brothers grew long and Tadashi broke it before it transformed into something awkward. “Hiro… I just want to let you know that if you want to talk, you can talk to me. If you want, I won’t even say anything.”

Hiro let out a quiet hum and leaned into Tadashi’s warmth. “I… I’ll think about it.” he whispered, looking anywhere but Tadashi. “...Thanks.” 

Tadashi nodded but didn’t say anything else. He’d try this silence thing for a while.


	20. Chapter 20

Groping around for the light switch, Tadashi blinked when the overhead lights flickered to life. He was certainly grateful to Aunt Cass; after all, she had dragged Hiro out of the house to go shopping and they would be gone for quite a while (their Aunt did love her shopping, even at the supermarket).

He took a deep breath and his gaze fixed itself on Hiro's computer. It had remained dormant since Hiro had returned home. His little brother hadn’t even gone five paces near the thing. The entire desk area housing the computer seemed to have gained a Hiro-Repelling bubble around it while the boy had been in the hospital.

Not that Tadashi could blame him, he would have been afraid, too. What with all the negativity crafted to target just one person and all. Tadashi didn’t want to touch the machine either but the sixteen year old had  _ business _ with the computer. Business that Hiro didn’t need to see. 

Determination burned like a roaring fire within his chest, and he grabbed the black desk chair and spun it around. He didn’t sit down. Because when your knees crumple under your weight and your butt hits the cushion with a thump, that’s more like falling. His hands were trembling as he put one on the mouse. 

He could do this. He  _ had _ to do this. For Hiro. Tadashi wasn’t letting those fiends get away scott free with hurting his little brother. His pride and his duty as an older brother  _ demanded _ it. 

The sixteen year old breathed in through his nose and fought back the chilling memories of an empty room so clean it seemed sterile in comparison to its natural state. It wasn’t like that. It  _ wasn’t _ . Hiro was just  _ fine _ . He was with Aunt Cass. Nothing could hurt him with her around. 

He had to tell himself this firmly for several minutes just to get his courage up enough that he could wake up the computer. It opened without prompting for a password (Hiro still hadn’t put it back up) and that fact made Tadashi flinch. 

_ You took off the password so we’d find your goodbye, didn’t you, Hiro?  _ The thought pierced through Tadashi’s mind and a choked whine filled his throat. The sixteen year old’s hand flew off the mouse like it had been burned and he buried his stinging eyes into his palms as a wave of horror and pain washed over him. He shuddered, his hands pressing so hard into his eyes that he saw stars and they ached for another reason. 

A sob escaped his lips at the realization that he could have  _ lost  _ his little brother. The sudden need to hold Hiro tight made him feel like a brick had been thrown at his chest, leaving him winded and sore. But Hiro was with Aunt Cass, shopping, and so, the breaking of Tadashi’s heart continued without any healing balm. 

Tadashi breathed in shakily; the shards of his heart piercing ever inward made his chest ache with sharp pain. He scrubbed away the budding tears with the back of his hand and took in another shuddering breath. Hiro. He needed to do this, bring justice to Hiro’s tormentors. If he didn’t do this now, he never would. 

He opened dark brown eyes shining with held back tears and looked at his little brother’s bright screen. It all lay within this small, fragile machine. It bore record of the eight months of pain and suffering of a twelve year old child brought to the edge of death’s door. 

Tadashi would be  _ damned  _ if he didn’t protect his little brother from the world’s evils again. If he  _ failed  _ the only remaining member of his family again, it would be better for him to have never been born. 

The sixteen year old let out a hollow laugh at how his thoughts had turned so dark and grimly clicked on Hiro’s internet history once more. 

His stomach curdled as he hovered the mouse over the video entilted Genius Goes For a Swim. He didn’t want to see his little brother’s fight all over again. Once was enough! Tadashi swallowed but shook his head and pressed his finger down on the mouse. 

The video started playing but at that same time Tadashi was already ripping it off the internet, praying that the code would transfer safely and that there weren’t any bugs. The teen wouldn’t know if it was safe until the process was completely done. But the sixteen year old was already moving to the next stop in his list of things he needed to catalog: 

The comments on Hiro’s profile.

Tadashi clicked down on the mouse with more force than was necessary and then froze at all of the comments that had sprung up in the wake of the video that had been Hiro’s  _ suicide note.  _

And some of them hadn’t even bothered to hide their usernames. Tadashi felt a grin slide up on his face and from the way it twisted his skin, he knew it wasn’t a very nice one. 

_ RindomanL47: do u think he’s actually gone? cause I mean… that video seemed pretty final dudes. Did we totally just win? _

_ OrderOrderInCourt: his bro totaly hacked the account man said he was in the ohspital _

_ *hospital _

_ ForgetMeNotInYourLife: LOL lame he shouldve gone through with what he was spouting that brat is all bark and no bite ...if you know what I mean... _

_ RindomanL47: whatcha gonna do, FMN? U got something planned or not? _

Tadashi’s eyes narrowed. This was a recent conversation… only a day old… what kind of idiot had a conversation on their target’s public profile where everyone could see it? 

Obviously this trio of bozos but still… It rankled Tadashi that  _ this _ type of numbskull had managed to get under his little brother's tough skin enough to drive him to a suicide attempt. For some reason the sixteen year old had pictured them to be… well…  _ smarter _ . 

Tadashi shook his head to dislodge the thought, a frown slowly creeping onto his face. He’d have to analyze that train of thought later, for now… he needed to screenshot this conversation in all of it’s incriminating glory. With a series of clicks of the keyboard, the deed was done for this section and Tadashi nodded firmly to himself. 

_ Guess what, you little maggots: I’ve got the time, AND your usernames all in one place.  _ Tadashi thought viciously.  _ I just need your IP addresses and then you’ll REALLY be toast.  _

Unfortunately, he had to continue reading back in the messages before he could go hacking for IPs. There were a lot of people involved in the conspiracy against his brother, after all. These older messages, however, brought the sick feeling to the forefront of Tadashi’s mind.

_ wow he’s so pathetic _

_ haha not so smart now r u... _

And then, the one thing that always seemed to kick him so hard in the chest seemed to emblazon itself across the screen: 

_ You don't seem to get it, nerd boy, so lemme spell it out for you: you don't belong here. No one would care if you just died. _

_ Tadashi wouldn’t even care if you just dropped DEAD. _

Tadashi buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. But the tears had dried up by this time, and all that was left was the  _ rage _ . 

How  _ dare  _ they insinuate that Tadashi never cared? How  _ dare  _ they put words in his mouth (words that his little brother obviously had believed and with how distant he had been… could he blame him?) when Tadashi had very nearly broken alongside the limp form on the floor? How  _ dare  _ they! 

His fingers hit the keyboard so hard that they ached. The teen knew that savage grin from before was back. 

He was going to make these people  _ pay _ . 

A flashing notification brought his attention to the ripped video and his eyes narrowed. The cursor moved jaggedly as he jerked the mouse up to the top of the pad and then clicked savagely down. He needed to see if his efforts to gather evidence had proven worthwhile. 

“ _ -nerd ever consider taking a swim? _ ” 

The video played smoothly and Tadashi trembled when Hiro was nearly drowned not once, not twice, but  _ three  _ times. 

He closed his dark eyes and pressed the heel of his hands to them as they burned. A harsh laugh bubbled up from his chest and spilled out of his throat. 

It had worked. It had worked! It had transferred without any glitches! It had shown clearly two of Hiro’s attackers, Andrews’ name was spoken clearly and the culmination of all these things lead to one certain fact: 

These maggots had just damned themselves by taking a video of their actions and then posting it into a public domain. They were caught in the act of attempted murder of a minor and Tadashi could  _ use  _ that as the basis of his case to get Hiro the justice he deserved. 

And to cement the nail into the coffin even more, Tadashi needed to screenshot the video in it’s original place. With confidence the sixteen year old clicked on the internet history and selected the link to the video Genius Takes a Swim. 

Tadashi blinked. The error message wouldn’t go away. 

_ This page does not exist. :(  _

… Tadashi stared. ... _ What? _

He refreshed the page. 

_ This page does not exist. :( _

**What.**

_ This page does not exist. :( _

_ This page does not exist. :( _

_ This page does not exist. :( _

**_WHAT?!_ **

Tadashi swore and slammed his fist into the table with a loud thud. There was a roaring in his ears as he stared at the white page, the little circle frowning face mocking him in it’s cartoony design. 

With an infuriated yell, Tadashi pushed some of the untouched tools that still littered Hiro’s workspace off the table. The chair rolled away from him as he stood there, trembling with the strength of his rage. Tadashi gritted his teeth and slammed his hands down onto the table with a bitten curse. His head hung as he stared down at the dark wood of the desk. 

He hated this. Absolutely  _ hated  _ this feeling of helplessness that welled up inside his chest. Things had been going so well but now - but  _ now _ ! Tadashi pushed himself upright and kicked at the desk with a roar. 

The sixteen year old staggered back with another curse word already falling from his lips. His foot throbbed angrily in time to the beating of his heart. 

Now his evidence for one of his brother’s tormentors was  _ gone _ . His eyes fell on the still alive program he had used to rip the video off the internet. At least he had gotten to the video in time. 

The one he truly cared about was getting Andrews. He would make that maggot  _ pay _ . 

“Tadashi? Are… you alright? I heard some yelling.” 

Tadashi froze as his little brother’s words connected with his head. “H-Hiro!” he squeaked, eyes flashing to the computer and back to his little brother who was leaning against the wall, confusion clear on his face. “Y-You’re back! Already! ...Hi!”

“Hi yourself you big nerd.” Hiro shot back. From the uncertain expression on his face it was clear to Tadashi that the twelve year old was trying to figure something out. The elder Hamada could see the gears turning inside the little genius’ head. 

The preteen walked further into the room and Tadashi backed slowly into the desk, trying to hide what was on the computer screen. 

“...Tadashi? Why are my tools on the floor?” 

Tadashi scrambled for an answer. “I uh… bumped them! Yeah, I bumped them! I meant to pick them up but you came home before I could pick them up! Hahaha isn’t… that funny?” 

Hiro raised an eyebrow, looking entirely unconvinced. “You suck at lying Nii-san.” he deadpanned. “Also, what are you hiding on the computer?”

“Ahahaha! Me? Hide something? It’s nothing! I’m not hiding anything….!” he squawked as Hiro tried to peer at the computer screen behind Tadashi’s back. “No! No! You can’t look Hiro!” 

Hiro leaned back so he could look up at his older brother, a smirk on his face. “Why? Is it something Aunt Cass would hate my innocent eyes from seeing?”

Tadashi turned bright red. “ _ What!? _ NO! That’s not-” he took a deep breath and looked at his little brother seriously. “It’s something you  _ don’t  _ want to see, Hiro. Trust me.”

“Why? I’m in highschool I think I can handle a little bit of p-”

“It’s not that Hiro.” Tadashi let out a pained sigh and gripped his little brother by the shoulders in an attempt to ground himself. “It’s not that.” 

Hiro wriggled out of Tadashi’s grip. “Then what  _ is  _ it, Tadashi?” he complained. “I wanna  _ know _ !” 

“Hiro.” 

“Whaaaat?” 

Tadashi raised an eyebrow before shaking his head and getting down to Hiro’s level so he could look him straight in the eyes. “Do you really want to know?” he asked seriously, dark eyes boring right into his little brother’s. 

Hiro blinked. “Well…  _ yeah _ . It’s not every day that you find your older brother freaking out about the computer.” 

Tadashi sighed again. “I’m gathering evidence so that Andrews and his cronies can’t hurt you or anyone else again, and I didn’t want you hurt by what I’m gathering.” 

Hiro swallowed, throat tight. “But… It was my-”

“It  _ wasn’t  _ your fault!” Tadashi gently grabbed his little brother around the shoulders and pressed his forehead against Hiro’s. “It has  _ never  _ been your fault! It’s theirs and theirs alone!” 

“But I  _ let  _ them hurt me! I still knew some moves that you’d taught me but I never used them! I was too scared to fight them off!” Hiro shot back, shivering. Tears were welling up in his wide brown eyes and it made Tadashi’s heart break.

“Just because you were scared, doesn’t mean what happened to you is your fault. They  _ chose _ to hurt you and just because you didn’t fight back doesn’t mean you’re to blame.” he told his little brother sternly.

“But… I was helpless! I couldn't- I couldn’t-” And then Hiro began to sob. 

Tadashi rubbed Hiro’s back soothingly. “Shhh… It’s alright. Hiro.” Hiro sniffed and looked up at his older brother through red rimmed eyes. Tadashi continued softly, “Do you want me to teach you karate again, little brother?” 

And still sniffling, Hiro nodded quietly. Tadashi reached down and ruffled his fluffy hair. “Then we’ll practice together from now on. You don’t have to feel defenseless anymore.” 

Hiro suddenly clung to his older brother in a tight hug. “Thank you, Tadashi.” he mumbled into his older brother’s shirt. 

Tadashi closed his eyes and fought back tears. “You’re welcome.” he whispered and pressed a kiss to his little brother’s hair. 

***

If one was to venture to the Lucky Cat Cafe in the wee hours of the evening some days latter, they would hear a very interesting commotion coming off from the upper deck.

“Your balance is off!” 

“No, it’s not!” 

“Oh yeah? If I do this-” 

There was a yelp that accompanied the thud of a small body hitting the padding laid out all over the deck amongst the flowers and other potted plants Aunt Cass lovingly cultivated. 

“Tadashi! That’s not fair!” Hiro protested as he scrambled back to his feet and into the position Tadashi had been showing him. 

Tadashi raised his eyebrow, unimpressed. “You know fights aren’t fair. If you learn a faulty way - even if it seems like the best way at first - you’ll end up flat on your back.” The teen nodded at the padding pointedly. “ Like you just did.” 

Hiro’s eyes narrowed as a scowl turned his face dark. Tadashi stepped back and nodded at his little brother. “Let’s go back to the beginning.” 

Hiro slumped from his position in exasperation. “Again?!” Hiro protested. “But we’ve been doing the same thing for the last hour!” 

Tadashi didn’t move, arms folded across his chest. 

“ _ Again,  _ Hiro.” 

Hiro growled but shifted his stance, and was soon moving in the kata that Tadashi had shown him. “This is stupid. I already  _ know  _ this stuff!” 

“And yet you’ve been lax in your techniques. You’re getting lazy, little brother!” 

Hiro growled and launched himself out of the kata. “I am  _ not _ lazy!” 

Tadashi neatly sidestepped the blows Hiro attempted to land on his person. “Oh really? Prove it to me then.” 

If Hiro’s temper hadn’t already blown, this would have steamed it even worse. “I’ll prove it, alright!” the boy growled as Tadashi easily batted his hand away once again. 

Tadashi didn’t look very impressed, which made Hiro even more annoyed. He attempted an upward swing, but was easily rebuffed. The twelve year old’s eye twitched as his older brother grabbed his wrist and made to trip him. 

Using that opening, Hiro spun on his heel and over his older brother’s extended foot. Despite how his arm was crossed over his chest in an awkward position, Hiro knew he’d taken his brother by surprise, if only by a little. Step 1: Evasion was a success! 

But just as the thought of achievement passed through his mind, the boy found his world turned a sickening blur. Despite being rather dizzy, Hiro pieced together that Tadashi had pulled him enough that he had been sent spinning like a dancer performing a salsa. “Ack!” 

Tadashi chuckled as he let go and Hiro nearly face planted back onto the mats. At the last minute, the boy saved his balance and spun around with an upper kick. 

Tadashi caught his ankle in one hand and raised his eyebrow. “Good try, Hiro.” 

Hiro glowered, wobbling slightly as his leg threatened to give out on him. “Shut up, Nii-san.” 

“By the way, your balance is still off.” Tadashi pointed out, looking at Hiro’s wobbling leg. Hiro stuck out his tongue and made a face. Tadashi let go. 

“Nyaaaaack!” Hiro fell. 

The boy lay on the padded mat, staring blankly up at the fading blue color of the sky with the breath knocked out of him. Tadashi leaned over with a wide grin. 

“You okay, Hiro?” 

Hiro let out a groan and glared at his highly amused brother. “Not. Funny.” 

“Oh yes it is, Otouto.” Tadashi snickered before offering a hand to help his little brother up. Hiro grasped his older brother’s hand just as a devious thought ran through his genius little head. 

Instead of getting up, Hiro pulled backwards and Tadashi fell forward with a startled yelp. Hiro leaned back and began to laugh as his older brother pushed himself up and gave him a baleful glare. 


	21. Chapter 21

It was sunday evening and Tadashi was already bustling around in the kitchen, having waved off Aunt Cass’ attempts to help him in his self-appointed task. The sixteen year old had to do this by himself, it wouldn’t  _ mean _ anything if he had some sort of assistance. At least, that’s what he thought. Aunt Cass had rolled her eyes at her eldest with a fond smile and had left the matter alone. 

Tadashi stared at the rice cooker as it steamed, foot tapping restlessly against the floor as he waited. A faded memory, warm and gentle, filled his mind. Years ago, his mom had stood in this exact stance, a smile on her face, patiently teaching him the ways of his intertwined culture.

_ “Ne, ne, Okaa-san!”  _

_ “Don’t forget to practice your English too, Tadashi.” _

_ Tadashi pouted, having to think his bubbling questions through. “Okaa-san, what are you doing?”  _

_ “I’m making a bento, do you want to help?”  _

_ “...ben...to? Nani- ano… I mean, what… what is it?”  _

_ Tadashi giggled as his mom bent down and gently poked his nose, leaving a bit of sticky rice on his skin. “It’s a boxed lunch.” she said with a smile. “Your Otou-san loves his bentos.”  _

_ Tadashi bounced on his feet, excitement growing in his chest. “Let’s make Otou-san happy! I wanna help, I wanna help! If we make Otou-san a bento, will he come home sooner? I wanna show him how much Hiro’s improving! He’s really smart.  _ Especially _ for a baby.” _

_ “...yes… Let’s make Otou-san happy, ne?” Tadashi didn’t notice it, but his mother’s brown eyes glistened with unshed tears.  _

_ Tadashi cheered as she lifted him onto the counter.  _

_ “First, we need to shape the rice into Onigiri. Can you do that for me, Tadashi?”  _

_ “Unm!” Tadashi nodded seriously, bouncing in place in his excitement.  _

Tadashi shook his head, the smile still on his face. 

“First… the Onigiri.” he murmured to himself, leaning forward to glance fondly at the bento box wrapping just waiting to be used. 

Hiro was gonna  _ love  _ what he was cooking up. He was sure of it. 

***

Monday morning started bright and early for Hiro as he crept down the stairs, stomach growling. The boy paused as his eyes caught sight of a box wrapped in a vibrant blue-purple cloth. Was that… a  _ bento _ ? He hadn’t seen one of those since he was like… five!

Curiosity overcoming well deserved caution of clingy, tickle obsessed older brothers, Hiro crept quietly down the remaining stairs and into the kitchen, peering at the card attached to the bento.

_ Hey, Hiro!  _

_ Yes, I know it’s old fashioned, but I made you a bento! You can eat it now, or at school, if you’re feeling up to it. Your choice. I’m not going to pressure you to go back, but just know that the option is out there.  _

_ \- love, Tadashi.  _

Hiro stared at the card, and his breath caught in his throat at the mere thought of going back to  _ that place _ . 

No, no, no, no,  _ NO _ ! He didn’t  _ want  _ Tadashi’s bento!  _ He didn’t! _

But... the smells drifting from the blue-purple cloth  _ were  _ kinda yummy smelling…  _ NO!  _ He wasn’t gonna fall into that trap. He could read in between the lines! If he took the bento, it’d be an acknowledgement that he wanted to try high school again! And he didn’t. He really didn’t. 

So Tadashi could eat the bento for all Hiro cared. He  _ wasn’t  _ going to eat any of it, even if it  _ did  _ smell delicious. 

Hiro turned around and headed up the stairs again, completely forgetting the reason for why he was trying to sneak down in the first place.

***

The days passed in the same routine. Tadashi would stay up late and carefully craft a unique bento for his little brother. No one bento was the same, but one thing about them remained constant. They were  _ always _ untouched. 

The wrapping was never undone, the food was never out of place, and worst of all… the bento was never moved from the place Tadashi put it the night before. Every morning, Tadashi would glance hopefully at the stairs and then deflate when he realized that his little brother wasn’t going to come down, not even for breakfast. 

Tadashi always set a plate for his little brother, but would always have to leave before his brother came down. The sixteen year old was sure Hiro was avoiding him, and it made his wounded heart hurt even more. 

That empty plate and that empty chair offered a stark reminder to what could have been. What seemed to be happening as Hiro steadily ignored his older brother’s attempts to reach out and connect. It was like they were a family of two - just Tadashi and Aunt Cass - and there was a Hiro shaped hole in Tadashi’s heart, despite his little brother’s status as still breathing. 

It felt like Hiro was fading from his life. And Tadashi didn’t want that, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out how to fix it. Any attempt at physical affection was rebuffed with a waspish retort and the slap of small hands batting him away as if he were some sort of annoying bug. Hiro had even stopped listening to him right after the bentos had started. 

Was this all his fault? Had Tadashi pushed his little brother away, somehow? Had he been too clingy? Had he done something wrong? Tadashi didn’t know, and it was slowly breaking him from the inside. 

But he kept making bentos, and had even started baking some of the Lucky Cat Cafe’s desserts upon Aunt Cass’ request. The scientific measuring of certain ingredients and for how long they took to cook was a balm on the teen’s soul. He was able to distract himself from the troubling distance within his relationship with Hiro with the creation of his delicious confections. This way, at least  _ someone  _ would enjoy his hard work. Someone could be happy with his efforts. 

Not that many people were these days… at least, not the people that counted in the long run. 

***

The roar of the crowd echoed in Hiro’s ears and got his blood racing. His pulse was going wild at the noise of people either cheering their mass gain or bemoaning their loss of money. So  _ this  _ was a bot fight. It was even more awesome than he had imagined! 

The twelve year old watched in fascinated awe as the reigning champion of the Malukai Territory tore into its challenger. The clash of the two titans sent bits of metal flying into the crowd, which roared in bloodthirsty adoration at the carnage. The challenger stared in horror at the smoking remains and then looked back up at the reigning champion’s bot.

“Better luck next time.” the champion grinned, tossing long, obviously dyed blonde hair over her shoulder with a cocky smirk on her face. “If you still have the guts to challenge me, that is.” 

“AINE THE AGGRAVATOR WINS AGAIN!” the woman known only as the Ringleader screamed, whirling her violet blue parasol around as she went about collecting money from those who bet in the crowd. 

“Whoah…” Hiro whispered, staring wide eyed as ‘Aine the Aggravator’ laughed at something the Ringleader said before steel grey met brown and Hiro had to look away, a blush staining his cheeks. 

A few more rounds of bot fighting ensued, and Hiro couldn’t tear his eyes away. He found himself just as entertained as the screaming crowd, if not more so. Now  _ this,  _ this was something to behold… he wanted to be out there. He wanted to be challenged. He wanted--

Another bot being torn apart got him screaming his praises for the victor before he realized what he was doing. His heart pounded in his throat as he practically vibrated in place from all of the energy rushing through and around him. 

His hands itched to hold a controller, to have a robot fight as smoothly as The Aggravator’s lithe titan did. He wanted to take it apart and see what made it run, what made it so mobile. He wanted to know, he wanted to see and feel the circuitry run underneath his fingers.

Hiro hadn’t felt this alive since… well… he certainly hadn’t felt it on the first day of school, that’s was a fact. That meant it had been, what… nine, maybe ten months? Almost a year? 

The boy shook his head as another roar filled the ring, and a surge of disappointment shot through him as he realized that he had missed out on another fight. His eyes scanned the wreckage. Wait… where was The Aggravator’s bot? And the champion herself? Had she left already? 

“Hey, kid.” 

Hiro nearly jumped out of his skin, barely managing to bite back a shriek as a woman’s cool voice reached his ears. 

He panicked. “I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m just watching!” he flailed, desperately hoping that the lady he was talking to wouldn’t boot him out on sight like that scary lady with the eyepatch and the red parasoul from across town had. He hesitantly looked up as the unknown woman let out a laugh and ruffled his hair, making him squirm. 

Steel grey met his own brown and he froze. It was Aine the Aggravator. The lady who’s bot tore apart the opponent without a second’s worth of hesitation. The lady who’s bot would first play coy and defenseless then on the turn of a dime, exploit a flaw or lowering of the opponent’s guard to systematically dismantle the bot. Permanently and with no chance of repair. 

“Y-You’re... Aine th-the…” he trailed off and just stared wide eyed up at the older woman, who grinned widely at his obvious awe.

“What’s a kid like you doing in a place like this?” she drawled with a smirk, grey eyes flashing with undisguised curiosity. 

Hiro shuffled slightly in embarrassment, wishing he had something to give him courage. he took a breath. “Well…” Hais eyes turned back to the still dueling bots and felt a grin slide up on his mouth as another rush of excitement made him breathless. 

“It’s exhilarating, isn’t it.” Aine said with a laugh. 

Hiro nodded. “I want to do that…” he breathed quietly, starling when a hand settled on his shoulder. Wide expressive brown eyes met suddenly serious steel grey. 

“Do you  _ really  _ want to, kid? This is a serious business with serious people. You could land in a load of serious trouble one day, are you sure you wouldn’t be better off in one of the legal upground tournaments?” 

Hiro scowled up at the woman. “But then you’re constrained to making it  _ fair _ ! Where’s the creative fun in  _ that _ ?!” 

And then Aine was grinning, a sharp proud thing that could cut through metal like butter. “You know what? I like you, kid. Come back with a bot and I’ll see what you can do. I’ll even go easy on you.” she said with a grin and pushed his head down slightly as she ruffled his hair. 

Hiro’s still present scowl deepened. “I don’t  _ want _ you to go easy on me!” he snapped, smacking her hand away. “Don’t treat me like I’m some clueless kid!”

Aine the Aggravator took a step back to look at the twelve year old fully, a critical glint in her steel eyes. Her eyebrow raised in challenge. “Oh? You  _ do  _ know that I’m the reigning Bot Queen here in the Malukai Pit, right, little boy?” she purred, “Your bot will be dead in  _ seconds _ .” 

Hiro’s fists clenched. His teeth ground together and he found himself trembling with the force of his indignation. “You’ll see!” he declared, glaring up at her defiantly. “You’ll see! I’ll make the best bot you’ve ever seen!” 

Loud raucous laughter engulfed the two, interrupting their show down, as the surrounding crowd of bot fighters and betters heard his declaration. 

“Go home little boy! This place isn’t suited for  _ brats _ like  _ you _ .”

Hiro flinched back at the words so similar to the words of his tormentors, then felt his resolve harden. The boy gritted his teeth so hard that his jaw ached, he fisted his hands so tightly that his knuckles turned white and his fingernails dug crescent moons into the flesh of his palms. The small twelve year old held his head high in the face of the taunting jeers and mocking scorns and was genuinely terrified. 

He stood there, shaking as the drunken laughter and mocking words rushed over and through his ears. And yet, he did not run. He  _ couldn’t _ . Not when he had made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t. He had to do this, for himself. He needed to move on from what words were said to him, he couldn’t take them personally anymore! 

These people didn’t know him, they didn’t  _ care _ . So why should he care what they think?! Who cared if they told him to go home, he’d just show up again a few days later! He wasn’t just some kid who would be cowed into running with his tail between his legs! (Because if he ran, that meant he wasn’t strong enough to face his fears.)

Hiro lifted his chin just a little bit higher, eyes flashing defiance. “I’m not going to leave just because you think I’m some snot nosed brat! Call me names all you want, but that doesn’t mean I won’t beat you when I face you all in a match!”

Derisive laughter echoed in the wake of his declaration and one of the nearby bot fighters sneered. “You’re just an arrogant brat! Like you would ever manage to win against  _ us _ .” 

Agreeing jeers filled the air and Hiro twitched under Aine’s calculating gaze, a dark scowl on his face. “You’ll see, I’ll wipe that smirk right off your ugly mug!” he snapped without thinking. A dark shadow blocked out the dim light of the alleyway light as the bot fighter _loomed_ over the twelve year old, all muscle and brute force. 

The man was so close that Hiro had a very nice, clear view on how his face bulged. His thick meaty hands clenched tightly around a bot that had yet to face any opponent for the night, and the boy feared the bigger male would use it as a club and brain him on the head. One single line ran through his mind as the man forwent the bot and simply lunged, hands curled as if he were going to strangle the breath out of his small neck.

_ Oh s- _

Hiro flinched back, eyes screwed shut. Self-imposed darkness surrounded him, but the expected pain never came. Cautiously, the twelve year old opened one eye, then the other, blinking in startled shock at the sight before him. 

Aine lowered her leg and snorted disdainfully as she flipped a few irritating strands of her hair over her shoulder with a dismissive air. The bot fighter crumpled to the ground, whimpering around bloody hands. Hiro recognized the signs of a broken nose when he saw one. 

“You all know the rules, you pile of rotten lugs! If a challenger appears, you listen! You don’t mock them - that will only get you ganked or robbed blind! Yama’s little newbies love playing here and he  _ doesn’t  _ take nice to his men being snubbed!” the queen of the ring yelled, glaring at the surround bot fighters who had grown as still as death. 

Hiro barely dared to breathe, the killing intent held in her glare made him feel terrified and yet very, very safe all at the same time. This was a seasoned warrior that you wanted on your side, and not the other team. 

“When a challenger arises, let us see what they can do.” the woman said softly, and the silence hung in the air. Hiro’s eyes darted to and fro amongst the nearby bot fighter’s faces, trying to gauge their reactions. 

“This is our territory, and we run it differently here!” she called and suddenly the noise was restored as the crowd roared in a frenzy. 

Aine turned back to Hiro and the boy felt like he could do  _ anything _ , take on  _ anyone _ , just because of the energy The Aggravator’s words brought. 

“Don’t be so foolish as to provoke your opponents again, kid.” she murmured into his ear as she passed, hand brushing against his hoodie pocket. “I won’t always be there to protect you from your running mouth.”

Hiro stared up at her, swallowing hard. “Th-that’s okay, you didn’t need to step in, I had it handled.”

Aine hummed, raising a disbelieving eyebrow before she slapped him on the back. Hard. “I’ll see you around, kid. Don’t get lost on your way home.” And then she was gone, swallowed up by the crowd. 

Hiro reached down and slipped his hand into his pocket. The boy turned back to the ring as another fight went underway, mind racing. He hesitated, then glanced back to where the queen of the ring had left. Something shifted inside him, slotting back into place with a surge of emotion that the twelve year old couldn’t identify. He stared down at his clenched fist and uncurled his fingers to reveal the folded paper Aine had slipped to him.

_ “Callahan’s first laws of robotics”, a good read if you want to build your own fighter bot. I hope that your bot will only be one of your many swords, kid. You’ll need the variety. From one survivor to another, don’t give in to them.  _

_ \-- A _

Hiro turned around to go home. He had work to do, things to overcome.  _ I’ll be back _ . his mind intoned gravely. Come rain or shine he’d come be back, with something that would blow their doubting minds away. 

_ I’ll be back, just you watch, Aine! I’ll be back! _

***

“Tadashi-I just- I need to- aaargh!” Hiro was about ready to pull out his hair. “Will you just  _ move _ ?” he snapped, shoving ineffectually at his big brother’s side. 

Tadashi let out a nonchalant hum as he carefully sliced off some cheese for his sandwich. 

“You’re so - rrrrrgh! -  _ heavy _ ! What have you been doing, sneaking donuts under the table from Aunt Cass?” Hiro groaned, still trying to shove his older brother away from the counter. 

“Wow.  _ Rude _ .” Tadashi commented, munching on a thicker than desired slice of cheese. 

“What’s rude is that you aren’t  _ moving _ .” Hiro snarked as he grabbed Tadashi’s elbow and braced his foot against a kitchen drawer so as to have maximum pulling power. ...It wasn’t very effective. 

“Tadashi, _seriously_! I just need to -” Hiro let out a wordless growl as his arm was smacked away from the counter. 

Tadashi cut away at another piece of cheese. “Hiro, I don’t want anything to hurt you.” 

Hiro’s eye twitched as he tried to squeeze in between the counter and Tadashi. “I’m just trying-”

Tadashi pulled the knife away from Hiro’s searching hand and pushed away Hiro’s face with his free hand. Hiro let out a shrill squawk of protest. 

“ _ TADASHI! _ ” 

“You’re not getting the knife Hiro.” Tadashi deadpanned. 

“ _ WHAT _ ?! NO! Tadashi that’s not what-” The boy’s words were cut off by an inarticulate and muffled scream of undying frustration. “I just want my bento, is that too much to ask???” 

Tadashi froze, dropping the knife as he glanced down at his fuming little brother. 

“You… want… your ben...to? The one that I made if you wanted to go to school?”

Hiro nodded deliberately, as if Tadashi was a little child. “Yes…” he drawled slowly.

“Oh… Oh.  _ Oh! _ ” Tadashi crowed as his little brother’s words finally penetrated his brain. “Hiro this is so exciting!” he spun around as if to hug his little brother who had retreated away from his person and then hesitated. ...wasn’t he supposed to wait until Hiro wanted a hug? Was this an acceptable time for him to hug his little brother? Did he need permission??? Aunt Cass had said he needed to be patient… he could be patient, right? 

Hiro rolled his eyes at Tadashi’s conflicted expression. “C’mere you donut hog.” he said and he put his arms around his older brother who returned the hug enthusiastically. 

“I’m really glad you’re coming back, Hiro.” Tadashi whispered into Hiro’s bushy hair. The boy rolled his eyes with a fond grin. 

“Yeah, yeah…”

“One yeah is enough you know…” 

Hiro sniggered. “Yeah, yeah, Nii-san.” 

Tadashi let out a put upon sigh but didn’t say anything, merely content with the knowledge that Hiro was ready to try High School again.


	22. Chapter 22

The woman watched as her boys stood together in the upper floor of their home, ready to greet the rising sun with all the dignity and determination of the samurai of old. The picturesque scene was almost an exact mirror of the first day of school, Aunt Cass reflected, before everything had gone so, so wrong. And yet, there were differences. That fragile innocence had diminished, and, due to that harrowing refiner’s fire, they were all different. 

Tadashi made it a point to reach out and give physical affection whenever his words failed him - which happened more and more in the face of his little brother’s shifting moods - and drove Hiro to distraction. 

Hiro, in the wake of his release from the hospital, had first been reclusive - shut up inside his half of the room and refusing to get out from under his covers for most of the day. It had come to a major head with Tadashi’s bento-giving ways. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the antagonism between her boys had faded. And then the household had been thrown into (joyous) chaos as her youngest - her brave, brave, little boy - came up to her and informed her of his decision to return to the accursed place that had nearly destroyed him. 

She was so proud of him. So, so, proud and so, so, scared. He was ready to conquer his demons and move on. Cass wasn’t. She still had nightmares of finding both her boys covered in blood and her eldest screaming… screaming…  _ screaming  _ for someone to help, blood dripping down his face, down his fingers and onto the blood soaked floor. Sometimes, her dreams would throw in the accusing and disappointed faces of her sister and brother-in-law. 

_ ‘You could have done something, anything!’  _ they accused her, pointing blood soaked fingers into her face, so close that the blood dripped onto her white shirt, staining it with her guilt. 

She always woke up crying those nights, tired beyond belief as her conscience tore her up from the inside. 

Cass wasn’t ready to let her youngest fly back into the wolves’ den. But she couldn’t clip his wings, or else she would cripple him. A downed bird was a dead bird, after all. 

Quietly, Cass walked over to her two boys. “Hiro, are you absolutely certain you want to go back? There’s no shame in not wanting to go just yet.” she said, despite knowing just what his answer would be.

Hiro turned to her with an understanding glint in his brown eyes that made Cass’ soul  _ ache _ . Her youngest left Tadashi’s clingy presence and hugged her fiercely around the middle. “I’m sure, Aunt Cass.” he pulled away slightly, a determined but shadowed glint in his eyes. 

Aunt Cass let out a resigned sigh, a wry smile on her face. 

Curse the Hamada stubbornness. There had been a reason why her sister had finally caved to be courted by Tomeo Hamada, and their sons had it both in spades.

“Alright. If you’re sure. I can’t stop you from going. But know that if you ever feel overwhelmed, you can come straight home, no questions asked.” Cass informed him, pulling him into another hug. 

Through all this, Tadashi hung back, watching the interaction between his relatives with a fond smile. Cass thought her nephew looked rather… lonely. She locked eyes with her eldest and gestured him over, pulling him when he was in range of her hand. Soon, all three of them were squashed together into a massive group hug and laughing. 

The sight of Hiro laughing made the intense ache in her chest fade, as did the sight of Tadashi pulling away just to get Hiro all to himself in a large bear hug. Hiro let out a squawk of protest and started squirming, but Tadashi rested his chin upon the smaller boy’s mop of messy black hair until the twelve year old conceded with a pout and hugged his brother back. The sixteen year old saw his opening and attacked, hands as fast as lightning jabbed into Hiro’s sensitive sides. 

Hiro went rigid, then fell over with a wail of “Betrayal!  _ BETRAYAL!  _ I have been  _ betraaayed _ ! Aunt Cass, aveeenngee meeee!” and the boy fell dramatically to the floor, sticking out his tongue limply with a final ‘pleeeeh’ sound. 

A giggle escaped the woman’s lips as Tadashi paled and slowly backed away, watching her advance. She hadn’t been called the Tickle Queen in her youth for nothing, after all…

***

Hiro was scared. Terrified, fearful, any other word to describe the pounding of his own heart inside his mouth would probably fit just as well as the one he’d found: scared. His hands clung to the straps of his backpack so tightly that his knuckles went white. 

Tadashi pulled into the parking lot and then turned off the car in one of the free spots then turned to his little brother.

“We won’t go in until you’re good and ready, Otouto.” 

Hiro trembled, biting his lower lip. “Even if we miss first period?” he asked in a choked whisper, dark brown eyes searching for something in Tadashi’s eyes.

It was found in the way Tadashi reached over and placed his hand on Hiro’s shoulder. “Even if we miss first period.” he confirmed gently. 

Hiro shivered under his big brother’s warm hand, tears welling up despite himself. “It’s stupid.” he scowled, wiping the traitorous liquid away. 

“Fear is never stupid, little brother.” Tadashi told him softly. “You were hurt here, you felt unsafe. There’s no shame in being scared because you know that there’s someone bigger and meaner than you.”

“But I could have fought harder!” Hiro protested, shuddering harshly. “I could have-”

“Hiro.”

Hiro flinched and Tadashi squeezed his shoulder gently, grounding in his solid presence on the other seat. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s  _ never  _ been your fault. You were scared and hurt. You were alone, facing an enemy that outnumbered you three to one.”

Even more tears welled up in Hiro’s eyes. “Nii-san…” he sobbed, leaning into Tadashi’s touch, practically clinging to the lifeline his older brother represented. 

“Hiro, you aren’t alone. Not now. Not ever. Never again.” Tadashi vowed, pulling his little brother into a hug. “I’ll stand by your side far after I’m dead and gone. Until eternity ends and farther still. I’m not going to give up on you, Hiro. I  _ promise _ .” 

Hiro let out a watery sort. “You’re such a  _ sap _ , Nii-san…”

“ _ And  _ a nerd.” the elder agreed, grinning. But that grin faded when Hiro flinched slightly. 

“Hey… what’s going on?” Tadashi asked quietly as the twelve year old trembled, eyes tracking something only he could see. 

Watery brown eyes lock onto his and the sixteen year old dared to breath again at the sight of the fear receding from his little brother’s eyes. 

“They’d call me that. I-I  _ can’t _ -” Hiro whispered, tucking his face into Tadashi’s shoulder. The sixteen year old could feel Hiro shivering. And then it clicked. 

_ -nerd _ _ , ever consider taking a swim? _ Oh.  _ Oh _ . Tadashi wanted to punch someone’s face in but he grabbed that burning anger, threw it into it’s padded cell and locked it up with a key. To compensate for the harsh disconnect of feelings, he surrounded his heart with all the compassion and love he felt towards his little brother that he could manage. 

“Hey, hey… It’s alright. I won’t say those kinds of things if you don’t want me to.” Tadashi soothed, his big brother senses warning him of an incoming flashback if he  _ didn’t do something _ . “It’s off limits now, anyone who calls you that or any variation there of can say hello to a knifehand to the throat.” 

Tadashi held up his fist for good measure and Hiro weakly giggled, snot getting onto Tadashi’s jacket. But did the elder Hamada care? Not one bit so long as Hiro wasn’t stuck in his nightmares. 

“Thanks, ‘dashi.” the twelve year old mumbled, sitting up and rubbing at his wet eyelashes. “I… I think I’m ready now.” 

Tadashi regarded his brother’s slightly flushed and tear stained cheeks and the firm set to his shoulders. “You sure?” he asked. Hiro let out a tiny nod, biting his lower lip. After a moment to look at his brother fully, Tadashi slowly nodded back. 

“Okay… Let’s go, little brother.” 

The teenager patted Hiro’s shoulder once more and then slid out of the driver’s seat. He held the door open, waiting until the twelve year old had slipped out of his side. The delighted snigger when both doors shut in unison was music to Tadashi’s ears. 

The two boys met at the trunk and Tadashi held out a fist. Hiro rolled his eyes but was grinning as his smaller fist lightly brushed against Tadashi’s and the two mimicked exploding noises. Hiro pushed himself off of the fist bump but Tadashi caught his wrist and pulled him into a hug. 

Hiro let out a squeak but allowed his brother this comfort with a rolled eye. But as the hug progressed, Hiro began to get very antsy. “C’mon Nii-san, you’ve hugged me long enough. We need to go in, remember?”

Tadashi let out a whine. “But you’re so  _ huggable _ !”

“Tadashi. I can’t move if you’re channelling a donut stealing monkey.” Hiro deadpanned. 

“Sooo?” 

“Who’s the oldest in this family? You or me? Because you’re not really acting like a mature older brother.” 

Tadashi pulled away slightly to regard his little brother with a raised eyebrow. “Well  _ you’re  _ snarky today.” he said. 

“And  _ you’re  _ really clingy.” Hiro shot back. 

Tadashi scowled before digging his knuckles into Hiro’s fluffy hair and scrubbing. 

“Ack!  _ Tadashi _ ! Ow, ow,  _ ow _ !” Hiro stumbled as he was released from his brother’s clutches. He whirled around, hands rubbing at his mildly burning scalp. “ _ Dude!  _ Not cool!” 

Tadashi just snickered and started walking. The sixteen year old could hear the startled yelp from behind him and had to fight back a smirk as Hiro scrambled to catch up. 

“Ta _ dashiii _ !” Hiro whined, small skinny legs pounding the asphalt at a quicker pace than normal to reach his older brother. Said older brother had slowed down to the pace of a leisurely stroll. 

“Yes?” Tadashi asked through a grin. 

“You’re such a  _ cheater _ .” the twelve year old accused, glaring up through his shaggy bangs and hands on his knees as he panted. “Not…  _ fair _ …” 

“Is that so, midget?”

“It’s not my fault you’re so… so… so  _ tall _ !” Hiro spluttered. 

“Wow. Such prowess with words. Are you  _ sure  _ you’re a genius?”

“Aaaarrrrgh!” Hiro flailed, rushing at older brother and connecting with his target’s middle with an empathetic ‘oof’. 

Tadashi grabbed Hiro and spun the two of them around, a laugh escaping his lips as Hiro yelped at finding his world a dizzy blur. 

“...’dashi you cheater…” Hiro blinked dazedly, a pout on his lips. “You used my momen… moment…  _ momentum _ against me!” 

“Well you did charge me like a bull, Hiro.” Tadashi deadpanned in amusement, steading the younger Hamada as the twelve year old staggered, clinging onto his shirt for balance. 

“‘cause yoooou’re a cheater.” Hiro declared, face pressed into Tadashi’s stomach. “Dashiiii make the world stop spinning!” 

“I didn’t even spin us that hard.”

“Mmmph.” Hiro didn’t move from his position and Tadashi laughed. 

“C’mon, we’re so close, Hiro! Just a few more steps!” 

“Nooo… still  _ dizzy _ . Make it stooop.” Hiro whined, hands reaching around at Tadashi’s middle, shaking his head ‘no’ as he did so. 

Tadashi sighed, highly amused. “Alright then, if you’re so dizzy, I’ll just have to do  _ this _ !” 

Hiro shrieked in indignant protest as his older brother swung him up and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. His feet kicked the air and the boy pounded the elder’s back as he squirmed. “Tadashi put me down!” 

“No can do, otouto!” Tadashi said. His steps were light and airy - nearly a jig - despite the added weight Hiro put on his shoulders. 

Hiro let out an aggravated hiss and hung limply from Tadashi’s shoulders, arms dangling like limp noodles. Maybe if he was extra still Tadashi would put him down  _ before  _ they got into the school crowd. 

Despite Hiro’s secret hopes, they soon entered the crowd and Tadashi still wasn’t letting go. “Tadashi, if you don’t set me down  _ this instant,  _ I swear I’ll-”

“Hiro. Look at this.” 

“I can’t look at anything if I’m still draped over your shoulder, you idiot!” Hiro growled, squirming. “Whoah!” 

Hiro found himself planted on his feet and spun around faster than his brain could process, making him dizzy all over again. Tadashi’s hands settled on his shoulders, a warmth settling deep into the twelve year old’s bones. “...What am I supposed to be seeing?” he asked.

“Look! See anything slightly different?”

Hiro squinted, eyes scanning the crowds of high schoolers passing by. And then, he found it, and wanted to smack himself at how obvious it was. 

“That’s a whole lot of sticky notes…” 

Thousands of the colored pieces of paper lay plastered on any surface that could hold them. Walls, lockers, pillars -  _ doors  _ even - it didn’t matter where, so long as they could stay. Hiro glanced at one that was closest to him and felt his eyes widen. 

_ “You are loved.”  _ the black words on blue practically screamed out at him, bold in their sincerity. 

Hiro left the safety of Tadashi’s arms to investigate others, brown eyes wide. 

_ “You would be missed.” _

_ “People care.” _

_ “Glad you’re still alive.” _

_ “Keep breathing, it’ll be okay.” _

_ “You can make it.” _

Hiro spun in a circle, a bewildered smile growing on his face. Someone had taken the time to handwrite what must have been, like, a  _ thousand  _ sticky notes. 

_ “Hiro, if you see this, know that we care.”  _ that stopped him cold, well… not really cold, because the warmth filling his chest was anything  _ but  _ cold. Someone had written his name… written something to  _ him _ ! 

And there were more, as he drew closer and closer to his own locker. Which kind of made sense because… well… he certainly hadn’t made his goodbye private. The whole world had seen it. Everyone knew he had tried. And failed. Maybe it wasn’t all about him, maybe he wasn’t the one who sparked this post-pocalypse but to see some sticky notes addressed to  _ him  _ (a kid who made dumb choices and failed at following them through)... it nearly made him burst into tears. 

_ “Hiro, I’m so glad you’re still here.” _

_ “Smile, bright eyes, a new dawn is coming.” _

_ “Keep calm, and science on!” _

_ “Hiro, you are so brilliant, never stop dreaming.” _

_ “We care about you Hiro.” _

_ “We’ve missed you.”  _

The messages were plastered all over his locker, some so thick Hiro needed to peel the top layer to read another one. His eyes watered at all the bright happy colors shouting out their handwritten words of encouragement. The twelve year old put his hands to his mouth to stifle the sob that wanted to escape. The tears at this point decided to make a break for it and Hiro couldn't stop them from rolling down his cheeks as he slumped bonelessly to the ground, a neon green post-it-note in his hands. 

Sniffling, Hiro glanced down and smiled. 

_ “You are loved, Hiro.”  _

“Hiro? Are you okay? Did someone manage to write something mean and stick it on your locker??” 

Hiro laughed, shaking his head. “Not at all, Nii-chan. I’m not sad, I promise.”

The twelve year old could practically  _ feel  _ the incredulous look Tadashi threw at his back. “Then why are you crying?” 

Hiro turned around and rolled his eyes. Heaven almighty, his older brother was such a worrywart. ...which wasn’t all that uncalled for, because if Hiro looked at his position from outside eyes… well… he could see where Tadashi was coming from. 

“I’m happy.” Hiro finally stated, grin so big that his cheeks ached and the corners near his eyes crinkled. Tadashi relaxed minutely.

“Just to be sure, I don’t need to hunt someone down, right?” Tadashi grinned, bending down to be eye level with him. 

Hiro considered the offer and then shrugged. “Not at the moment, no.” 

“C’mon kiddo, let’s get you up on your feet.” Tadashi held out a hand and Hiro took it. The elder Hamada pulled and Hiro went  _ up _ . 

“Whoah!” the twelve year old yelped, stumbling until he hit Tadashi, who steadied him with a hand to his shoulder.

“You okay?” 

“Yeah I’m fine I just need to put some stuff away.” Hiro grinned, adjusting his backpack’s straps. 

Tadashi nodded. “Okay.” The sixteen year old leaned up against the wall, being careful not to cause any post-it-notes to go flying.

Hiro opened his locker with a flourish then paused. “Hey Tadashi?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Did you ever tell someone my locker combination?”

Hiro’s back was blocking Tadashi’s view of the inner contents of the opened space. “...no, why?”’

Hiro turned around, a bundle of blue flowers clenched in his hands. “Someone left me Forget-Me-Nots.”


	23. Chapter 23

“Tadashi.” Hiro rubbed at his temples, feeling a headache of pure annoyance approaching in rapid waves. “If you keep following me to class like this, you’ll be  _ late. _ ” 

Tadashi pulled out the puppy dog eyes, lip sticking out in supplication. Hiro folded his arms, raising an eyebrow. 

“Nii-san. I’ll be  _ fine _ .” he insisted, “You don’t have to worry! If anything happens, a teacher will step in.”

Tadashi didn’t look convinced. “Oh, yes, because they did  _ so well  _ before.” he deadpanned. 

Hiro scowled. “This pattern you’ve got going is  _ so _ not healthy. For both of us! I need my space!”

The elder Hamada looked lost. “But…” he began to protest.

“But nothing!” Hiro interjected.

“But  _ Hirooo _ …!” Tadashi moaned in distress, throwing his head back for emphasis.

“But Tadashiiii…” Hiro whined right back, hands on his hips and eyebrows raised. 

“Mr. Hamada!”

At the sound of a stern, male voice, both Tadashi and Hiro jumped and turned to face the door to Hiro’s class.

“Yes, Mr. Arwald?” They addressed the teacher together. Tadashi guiltily eyed his posture: arms folded and leaning against the door frame.  _ Never  _ a good posture for a teacher to take.

“The elder.” He clarified before continuing, “Class is about to start. I would advise you to heed your younger brother.” 

“But Mr. Arwald-!” 

The older man put his hand on Tadashi’s shoulder. “Young man, your brother will be fine. Please trust me. He’s in good hands.”

“But-”

Mr. Arwald’s lined face hardened minutely. “Go Tadashi. Otherwise I’ll be forced to give you detention.” the man threatened. 

The sixteen year old’s face contorted into a grimace, eyes glancing away from the teacher. 

Hiro peered around Mr. Arwald, intent on giving a sly smirk in his older brother’s direction, but he froze immediately, eyes widening. Tadashi looked… desperate-  _ scared  _ even. His arms were pressed against his sides and, upon closer inspection, the younger Hamada could see the tremors running through his body and shaking his clenched fists. A twinge of emotion ran through Hiro’s chest and the twelve year old moved without thinking. 

His skinny arms wrapped around his older brother’s waist, and Hiro pressed his cheek into Tadashi’s stomach, near his ribcage. 

“I’ll be okay, Onii-san. You don’t have to worry so much.” Hiro whispered as Tadashi practically curled around the boy, contorting ever inward. 

“I can’t help it… I care too much… worrying about you is just…  _ it’s what I do _ .” Tadashi whispered into Hiro’s fluffy hair. The twelve year old let out a quiet huff, struggling to find the right words to express the feelings welling up inside him. 

“Mr. Hamada.” unlike earlier, Mr. Arwald’s voice was soft with new understanding. 

Tadashi met his gaze, rubbing at his face. “I’ll go.” he whispered finally, hands fumbling as he tried to pry himself out of Hiro’s clutches. But now that Hiro was there, now that he’d finally given in (to some degree), the boy didn’t want to let go. And so, the twelve year old clung, determined to get his older brother (who was his  _ pillar _ even if he to admit it) up to more cheerful levels of attitude. 

“You know I love you, right?” Hiro asked, voice muffled by his pressing his entire face into Tadashi’s stomach. He felt his older brother’s body going stiff, hands still grasping Hiro’s hoodie sleeves as he stared down at his little brother. Said little brother refused to look up at him, lest the elder could spot the red tinging his cheeks. Then, slowly, wide brown eyes softened into a gentle - if still tired - expression. 

The twelve year old twitched slightly when he felt long fingers gently find their way into his hair and ruffle it. 

“I know.” Tadashi said softly, “But you were right earlier. I need to give you space. I can’t keep clinging to you just because I’m  _ worried _ .” 

Hiro stared up at him, wide eyed at the tired grimace that danced across his elder brother’s face. The boy felt conflicted. On one hand, he wanted to cheer, because heck yeah! He’d won the seemingly endless battle between himself and the ultra clingy Nii-san! But then again… Hiro was nearly overwhelmed with the icy winds of worry and concern that suddenly swept through his mind. The kind that only came when a loved one was acting… well… very unlike themselves. 

This wasn’t the vibrant Tadashi that Hiro knew. The twelve year old could still feel the tired trembling that came from his older brother. Hiro felt his heart lodge uncomfortably in his throat, making it hard to swallow. A sick feeling grew in his gut. 

“Tadashi…” Hiro tried to swallow, but found himself unable. “I-I think… I think you should go see the nurse.” 

Tadashi blinked down at his little brother, not seeming to comprehend the advice. The sixteen year old swayed slightly in place, despite how Hiro was trying desperately to act as an anchor. 

The twelve year old traded worried glances with Mr. Arwald. 

“I’ll write him a pass, Hiro.” the elderly teacher murmured. Hiro nodded over the pounding of his worried heart. 

“I don’t know what’s brought this on…” he whispered, practically to himself as Mr. Arwald headed in to get the pass. Tadashi was clearly too out of it to  _ understand _ that he was out of it, and, as if to prove this, the elder Hamada slumped against Hiro’s head, muttering something into his fluffy hair. Hiro let out another huff, amusement warring with concern. 

“You need sleep.” Hiro informed his sleepy brother. “And to lay off the donuts... donut hog.”

“...’m not a donut hog.” Tadashi grumbled, chin settling firmly onto Hiro’s head. “ _ You’re  _ the donut hog.” he added as an afterthought. 

Hiro snorted. “Your weight says otherwise.”

“...’re you calling me  _ fat _ ?” Tadashi leaned even more heavily on Hiro, causing the twelve year old to flail as he was thrown off balance momentarily.

“Tadashi you’re tired. You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” 

“...mm….  _ not… _ ” Tadashi tried to protest, words slurring together. “R’lly… ‘m fine…” 

“Hiya, little guy! Mr. Arwald wanted me to take your brotherrrrr -  _ Tadashi? _ ”

Hiro blinked and craned his neck to see who was speaking. His eyes narrowed as he saw a very familiar blue beanie crammed onto a head of blond hair. 

“Fre...d… hi…” Tadashi yawned in greeting, flopping an arm in an attempt to wave. 

‘Fred’ (if that was even the guy’s real name, Hiro couldn’t tell because his brother had lapped the loopy stage and was back at having hallucinations at this point) stared for another moment then visibly shook himself. He’d seemed almost… entranced with Tadashi’s state of being.  _ Hm…  _ Hiro narrowed his eyes, then mentally shrugged. Oh, well. Whatever it was wasn’t really his problem right then.

“I can take him to the nurse, if you want. I don’t have anywhere to go since I’ve got a TA period now.” 

Hiro blinked, before grinning. “That’d be great!” the twelve year old paused before his grin turned mischievous. “Can you video his reactions for when he’s actually awake enough to process what’s going on around him? That’d be hilarious.”

The beanie clad teen saluted him, grinning back with just as much devilry. “Can do, little dude!” 

Hiro gratefully untangled himself from his older brother, though he earned a pathetic whine that made his heart twinge. “It’s gonna be okay, Nii-san, you’ll feel better after a nap.” Hiro reassured Tadashi as ‘Fred’ slung one of Tadashi’s limp arms around his shoulders. 

“C’mon man, let’s get you to Ms. Ayako. She’ll make you feel better.”

“Buh… Hiroo…” Tadashi weakly flailed his other arm in Hiro’s direction before it fell limply to his side. A wet sniffling sound made Hiro’s chest tighten even more as ‘Fred’ steered his older brother around and towards the nurse’s office.

“Byhee Hirooo…” came the fading voice of his extremely exhausted brother and Hiro let out a sigh as the bell finally rang. Slowly, he entered Mr. Arwald’s engineering class. 

The chatter of his fellow classmates washed over him like a soothing balm, equations and debates on certain models’ aerodynamics flying through the air like paper airplanes. This was his type of class. It was already one of his favorites, and he’d only been back for a week or so. 

“Hey mini-da Vinci! Someone left you some flowers!” 

Hiro glanced over at his table partner, a one Will (last name????) and felt his eyebrows crease. “Flowers? Really?”

The junior nodded, jerking his head to where the aforementioned gift lay innocently on his desk. The blue petals jumped out at him in stark comparison to the black tabletop. 

The young Japanese-American approached his desk and picked up the single sprig of Forget-Me-Nots, twirling it around with his fingers as his eyes examined every inch for clues to the identity of the sender. 

“Did you see who delivered them?” the twelve year old questioned and Will shrugged. 

“It was a TA. Blonde. Looked kinda like the TA that Mr. Arwald had take your older brother out… I think his name was… Fred? I dunno. I don’t pay that much attention to people when I’m distracted.” 

Hiro let out a hum and spun the sprig around a bit more. “I wish I knew who was sending them. I had a  _ huge  _ bouquet in my locker the day I came back.” 

“Really?” Will asked, scratching at his face as his eyebrows lifted. 

“Yeah. What I don’t understand is why someone would send flowers to  _ me _ . I’m not anything special…”

“Whatever you say, mini-da Vinci. You’re a genius. Someone’s gotta like you somewhere.” 

Hiro made a face. “But I don’t know any girls! Why would a girl pay attention to  _ me _ ?”

Will shrugged, hanging his massive headphones around his neck. “Who knows what goes on in their minds. Between you and me, I’d stick with the sciences. Much easier to comprehend those.”

Hiro nodded, face smoothing out as the topic moved away from the confusing and into the realm of things that he could really understand. “Yeah!” he agreed, setting the sprig of Forget-Me-Nots back on his desk.

Mr. Arwald cleared his throat and the class took off, racing towards the exciting future of building real life models. They’d be building pretty some awesome things - like an actual catapult! They’d be launching wadded up marshmallows instead of rocks because of the hazard they presented - but hey! Free marshmallows to eat after they were done, right?

It was official. Best. Class.  _ Ever _ .

***

"Wheeee..."

“Steady there, oh Tall One.” Fred cautioned his lanky friend as Tadashi leaned heavily on the comic enthusiast, nearly causing both of them to fall over in a tangle of limbs. 

“Imma steady person…” Tadashi declared woozily. “I… gotta… gotta be… Hiro’d… Cafe go ‘boom’.” the last part was declared so solemnly that Fred had to shove down the urge to look behind him to take another glance at Tadashi’s kid brother in shock. So the kid was the mad scientist type, huh? 

Awesome. And yet, extremely terrifying. 

“Sounds hazardous, man.” Fred said aloud as Tadashi swayed away slightly, eyes unfocused. 

“Is.” the sixteen year old agreed, wobbling as he tried to take another step. The two moved forward a few more steps, swinging whichever way Tadashi’s balance decided. If Fred had to put an analogy to this situation, it would be like the two of them were one of those really retro ping pong games only found in ancient Arcades. 

The walls were the boxes that bounced the ball around and the two of them were the ball. Tadashi was the momentum and Fred just went along with it. Otherwise the two of them would have been in a mess on the floor several steps back. 

“But love ‘im.” Tadashi finally declared, after several minutes of silence that Fred had used to continue their trek towards the nurse’s office. 

“Of course you do.” Fred agreed. 

“Only family I have…”

Fred winced. This was going down a darker road than he’d ever expected from his friend. “What about your Aunt?” he asked, trying to shift the conversation away from sadness. 

“Not Hamada… We’re… last? No one else.” 

Drat. That didn’t work.  _ Okay, Freddie… be random! _ “Sooo… what was your favorite TV show when you were a kid?” 

Tadashi’s weight was heavy against Fred’s side as the taller teen rested his head awkwardly on the comic book enthusiast’s shoulder. “Mmmph…” he hummed, closing his eyes as he obviously struggled to work his brilliant mind backwards. 

Before the sixteen year old could form an answer, they had arrived at their destination. 

Fred stared at the door in consternation. How was he going to get the door open when he already struggled to hold Tadashi up? By this time, the Science Star had started leaning even more on his rather small friend and Fred hated to admit it, but Tadashi was  _ heavy _ . 

Awkwardly, Fred shuffled forwards and tried to open the door. He tried several times, in fact, but he still couldn’t get it open. The teen considered the urge to bang his head against the door in the hopes of Ms. Ayako hearing him. But he finally succeeded in his venture. 

“Hiya Ms. Ayako!” he called as he helped Tadashi through the door. 

The school nurse, Ayako Kimura glanced up from her desk and sighed. "Fred, you have a TA period right now, what could possibly be wrong--"

“Mmmh floatin’… wheeeeee…”

Fred tried to stifle a laugh at the flummoxed expression on the older woman’s face. A brown strand of hair was falling out of her crisp bun and her green eyes were wide under her thin, wire-framed reading glasses. A snort escaped his lips, and Ms. Ayako shot a stern look in his direction. 

Visibly shaking herself, the school nurse focused on the task at hand. “And who might you be…?”

Tadashi wobbled slightly. “Ta… Tada…” he yawned widely, unable to finish. 

“Tadashi Hamada. Can he lay down here, Ms. Ayako? He’s seriously sleep deprived and about to fall flat on his face. OH! And here’s a pass from Mr. Arwald.” Fred flapped the small green slip in her general direction. 

Ms. Ayako took it, green eyes narrow as she examined the paper for any forgeries. “Everything seems to be in order. You know where the beds are, since you always seem wind up getting ‘ill’ around period two…” 

Fred flushed guiltily. 

A confused whine escaped Tadashi’s throat. “Fred… yoooou skip? Fooor shaaaaaame…”

“Oh, great.” Fred griped. “He’s not tired enough to miss processing  _ that _ …”

Tadashi let out a huff, resting his chin on Fred’s beanie clad head. “May be tired… but still have… ears…” 

Fred heard the muffled snort that Ms. Ayako let loose and stuck out his tongue at her. She raised an eyebrow at him and he glanced away quickly. 

“Let’s get you to a bed.” he said, focusing on his more important task. 

“...M’kay…” Tadashi yawned again, trying to take a step without Fred and wobbling dangerously. Fred grabbed Tadashi’s arm to steady him. 

“Whoah! Wait for me, Tall One!” 

“Yoou’re slow. Hurryyyy....” Tadashi muttered, pouting. 

“You’re just too enthusiastic for your own good, that’s what you are.” Fred retorted. “On the count of three. One… Two… Three.” And then the blonde started walking, Tadashi’s weight heavy against his side (though… it had been like that since Tadashi’s tired form had ‘transferred ownership’ from Hiro to Fred). 

Like in the hall, the going was slow as Tadashi would crash into Fred’s legs and side before trying to veer off into the walls and cabinets. “Steady… steady…” Fred cautioned. Tadashi just let out a huff, his eyelids drooping and his ballance got even worse. 

And then, the room where the cots were held was in view and Fred grinned at the sight of the open door. He wouldn’t have to repeat the awkward process of trying to open doors with dead weight occupying his arms!

The two staggered into the room and Fred gently guided Tadashi to sit on the cot nearest to the door. The sixteen year old slid his legs up from the floor with the combination of a crinkling and creaking sound. 

“You all set?” Fred asked, to make sure Tadashi didn’t need anything else. He waited, but when it appeared as though Tadashi wasn’t going to reply, he nodded to himself and turned to go.

“...mmh a bad brother…”

Fred froze, halfway out of the room when the words were dropped.  _ What…?  _ The blonde glanced back at his friend to see the that Tadashi had rolled onto his side and was staring at him, brown eyes beginning to tear up. 

Inwardly, Fred panicked. Outwardly, he merely turned on his heel and walked to Tadashi’s side. He was so fast that it was like he had the superpower of teleportation.

“What makes you say that, Tadashi?” he asked as he pulled up a seat by the older teen’s cot. 

Now that he knew he had Fred’s attention, Tadashi rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling with a tired sigh. “...just am…” he mumbled. 

“How can you say that? You’re the best brother a guy could ask for!” Fred tried to encourage. 

Tadashi closed his eyes. “Firs… I ignore Hiro… Now…. mmm tooo… clingy? Can’t find a b-bal-” he yawned. “Balance… Don’ know… what to do…” 

Fred let out a hum, but said nothing. His hand hand found it’s way to Tadashi’s and gently squeezed. 

“Feel…” Tadashi trailed off, grasping at the air with his free hand as his tired brain struggling to find the word he was looking for, “...lost?” 

“Have you tried letting Hiro come to you for things?” Fred asked, thumb tracing circles on the back of Tadashi’s hand in what he hoped was a soothing manner. 

“Tried… Mmm scared…” Tadashi whispered, swallowing harshly as his breathing hitched. “What if… Hiro… not feel loved… like before?” 

“So… since you ignored him for a while earlier, you feel like you need to make up the difference with more affection, right?” Fred clarified. 

Tadashi nodded, eyes shut tightly. “Don' want... Hiro to... to feel unloved… not again...” A tear slipped down his cheek. 

_ Oh nooooo _ … Fred moaned in his head.  _ What do I DO _ ??? He wasn’t a counselor, he didn’t know what to say to a person who was crying over something so… so… Mentally, the comic book enthusiast flailed. 

“I’m pretty sure he knows.” Fred finally said, wincing at how lame he sounded. Tadashi opened a brown eye and looked over at Fred, hope glimmering in their dark depths. 

“Do you… think so?” he whispered. 

Fred nodded. “I know so. Now, go to sleep, Tadashi. Your little brother will be fine. If nothing else, Mr. Arwald and I will make sure of it.”

And Tadashi smiled. It was small and full of exhaustion, but the genuine joy at Fred’s proclamation was there and it made the comic book enthusiast’s heart pound. 

“Thanks… You’re a really…” Tadashi yawned deep and wide. “A really good friend, Fred…”

A soft smile spread across Fred’s lips. “You too, Tadashi. Sleep well, okay?”

“M...kay…” 

And Tadashi Hamada was out like a light.  _ Finally _ . 

***

“WHERE ARE THEY ALL COMING FROM?!” This shout was accompanied with the sound of something rather heavy hitting hollow metal. 

Will glanced over at the loud ruckus to see the small twelve year old repeatedly banging his head against his locker. 

“Woah, Mini-da Vinci! What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling the boy away before Hiro could give himself a concussion. 

“THESE!” Hiro thrusted a fistfull of the tiny blue flowers in Will’s face. “I’m up to my  _ eyeballs _ in these stupid things!” 

Will plucked the mildly crumpled sprig of Forget-Me-Nots from his brilliant friend’s grasp to examine them more closely. “Secret Admirer again?” he asked. 

“At this point it’s more like a  _ stalker _ .” Hiro grumbled, flopping to the floor to lean against the lockers. Will blinked, but sat down beside him, still twirling the Forget-Me-Nots between two fingers. 

“So it’s not just Engineering?” 

Hiro slumped. “They’re  _ everywhere _ . They’re in my Art class, in Calculus  _ and  _ English. It like an epidemic! I take one bouquet out and then next day there’s another one! I don’t think my locker will  _ ever  _ stop smelling like flowers!”

Will blinked at the sudden tirade. He opened his mouth with the intention of asking another question, but Hiro exploded.

“I don’t even know who’s sending them!” Hiro’s voice was slowly but steadily rising. “Or how they’ve gotten my schedule,  _ or _ my locker combination! And the saddest thing is that I’m beginning to  _ hate  _ my favorite flower!” The boy threw up his hands with a disgusted cry, looking to be minutes away from tearing out his fluffy black hair. His eyes were wild and his chest heaved and shuddered from the emotions of his outburst. 

Will leaned in cautiously. “Hey… At least we’re going to begin our testing of the catapults today.” the elder student pointed out. 

Hiro visibly brightened. The crazily paranoid look faded from his brown eyes, only to be replaced with excitement. 

“Oh yeah!” Hiro scrambled up to his feet. “C’mon,  _ c’mon _ ! I want to get there early! Let’s see if we can beat the person delivering those flowers!” In his enthusiasm he started tugging at Will’s arm, trying to get the older boy up.

Will laughed, pushing off the lockers as Hiro pulled on his arm once more. “Okay! Okay! I’m moving!” 

“What do you think the catapults will do?” Hiro asked, walking backwards so he could see Will’s face when he responded.

“I think some will fall apart, naturally. Also-”

“Do you think there’ll be  _ explosions _ ?” Hiro interrupted and was practically vibrating at the thought. Will tossed his young friend a befuddled look.

“E-Explosions? How would  _ that  _ happen?” Will spluttered. 

Hiro shrugged. “Cool things explode and catapults are cool, therefore they can go boom!” A few seconds passed as Will struggled to comprehend what Hiro was saying before the boy added another bombshell, “They’re awesome with rocket boosters though.”

Will stared at his twelve year old friend in horror. “You  _ didn’t _ .”

Hiro blinked innocently at the junior. “Didn’t what, Will?”

Will grabbed Hiro and shook him, panicked. “Mr. Arwald’s gonna  _ kill  _ us if you put explosives on our catapult!”

“Well, he didn’t say we couldn’t!” Hiro pointed out sensibly. 

“That doesn’t mean you should!” Will wailed, shaking the twelve year old even harder. “How did you even  _ get  _ the things necessary to make a rocket booster -- shouldn’t that be  _ illegal?!  _ I’m pretty sure it’s illegal! Oh no we’re going to get arrested aren’t we??? This is bad! I’m too young to go to juvie, I’d die in there! Mini-da Vinci, what have you  _ done _ ?! We’ll both be  _ ruined _ !” 

Hiro held onto his straight face for only another minute amidst the panicked shaking before he broke. It started with sniggering, then slowly escalated to full blown giggles until the twelve year old was practically howling his laughter. Tears streamed down his cheeks as his sides began to hurt from laughing so much. 

Will shoved Hiro away in mild disgust. “I can’t believe you!” 

“You totally fell for it!” Hiro laughed, wiping away a tear. “I can't believe you really fell for it!” 

Will twitched. Was this what his older brother Ashton felt when  _ he _ was younger? Had he been such a brat to him? “Why you little…” 

Hiro let out a giggling squeal and started running, Will hot on his heels. “Get back here!”

“Nooo! First one to Mr. Arwald’s gets to actually operate the catapult!” 

Will spluttered indignantly. “You little cheater! Get back here so we can have a  _ real  _ race!” 

“You’ll just have to catch me then!” Hiro practically cackled and Will let out an aggravated hiss, eyes narrowing.

It was so  _ on _ . 

***

Fred was humming when he walked into the classroom, about fifty graded assignments clutched safely to his chest. 

“I don’t get it! How’d it get here before us?!” 

The blond glanced up, startled at the fact that there were kids in the classroom already. It was Tadashi’s younger brother (Hiro, right?) and another boy (Fred recalled his name as Will King), both attempting to huddle around a desk. 

“Hey little dudes, what’s going on?” Fred called as he approached the huddle. 

Hiro glanced up, before he twitched. “Have you seen anyone come in here and put  _ this _ on my desk?” The boy held up a sprig of blue flowers that looked vaguely familiar to the TA. 

Fred tried to search his memory so he could answer the question correctly. Nothing came up. “...Can’t say I have. Sorry.” 

Both boys slumped. “Dang…” the other boy murmured. “Guess we were too slow.”

Fred cocked his head. “So this has been going on for a while?” 

Hiro twitched again. “A while?  _ A while _ ?” the twelve year old laughed, near hysterical. “Don’t get me started. They’re everywh-” 

Hiro’s friend slapped a hand over the young freshman’s mouth. “Don’t mind him, he’s just frustrated that he can’t figure out who’s sending them.” 

“Oh?” Fred raised an eyebrow before a teasing grin flooded his face, “Is it a giiirl?”

Will jerked hand away from Hiro’s mouth with a disgusted expression on his face. “Dude! Did you seriously just-- You  _ licked  _ my hand!” 

Hiro ignored his friend’s protests to the childish action as he gagged and brought his hands to his throat. “Ewwwwwww! I hope not! Girls are  _ gross _ ! Besides, would a girl be this crazy? These flowers are  _ everywhere _ !” The flower went flying. 

Fred stared hard at the flower that lay innocently on the desk, something suddenly sparking in his mind.  _ Everywhere? But who would be so obsessed with someone that… well, he’d normally just go unnoticed… _

It slammed into him like a ton of bricks, and his eyes widened. “Him…”

“What?” He blinked a couple times and glanced up, noticing that both Hiro and his friend were staring at him, confused.

“Ah… nothing, little dude. Listen, I have to go take care of something. Tell Mr. Arwald that I’m here if I’m not back by the last bell.” Setting the papers down, Fred abruptly turned and headed out the door. 

***

Fred marched down the hall, face set in determination. This felt like a dramatic scene from one of his comic books. The Hero going off to confront the Villain - his own family (and what a twist that would have been if it were ever a real story)! But this was bigger than just that. The Hero had to think about the innocents under his protection. He had to think about the promise he had made to Tadashi… the one person he was determined to keep his promises to, no matter what. 

... _ Well… _ Fred hesitated, just out the door. He could see Thomas from the warping of the glass.  _ It’s now or never. Are you gonna step up to be the Hero, Freddie?  _

Thomas was with his friends, laughing about something that the glass blocked. Fred clenched his fists and swallowed his fear. The comic book enthusiast grasped the cold metal of the doorknob and opened the door. 

If Fred’s life was a cartoon, dramatic music would be playing before the screen cut to black for the adds to play across. It was the perfect cliffhanger moment. Too bad Fred couldn’t be on hold too. 

He stepped into the semi-crowded room and approached his cousin. “Thomas.” His voice wasn’t shaking. It  _ wasn’t _ . 

Thomas turned his head and his eyes lit up slightly at the sight of Freddie standing in his territory. The predatory look that crossed the elder’s face made the insides of Fred’s stomach clench. 

The eighteen year old leaned forwards, resting his chin on threaded fingers. “Why hello there, Freddie… What brings you to my part of school?”

“Don’t play dumb!” Fred snapped. 

Thomas’ eyebrow twitched as his friends gave a soft chorus of ‘Ooooh…’ in mock fear. He glanced to one side, effectively silencing them, before his gaze returned to his younger cousin.

“Excuse me?”

“I said ‘don’t play dumb’! What the hell do you think you’re doing, giving that kid flowers?!”

Fred growled as Thomas smirked slightly. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He sighed, shrugging. “What flowers? What kid?”

“Hiro Hamada!” Fred held his ground as his cousin rose slowly. It felt as though he was being towered over, and he leaned away slightly, but overall, he held his ground.

“Did you think you could  _ change _ something by coming here, Freddie?” He purred, though his eyes glinted with slight annoyance. “You can’t even stand properly and face me. How do you think you’re going to stop a plan that’s already in motion?”

Fred froze. “What?” He whispered, swallowing hard. “What…? ‘already in motion’? What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“You know what it means, Freddie.” Thomas replied. He took a step towards Fred, and the smaller male  _ ran _ , the door to the classroom slamming behind him as he escaped. 

Being a hero was  _ hard _ .


End file.
